Just Wondering

OK A couple of things, can anyone explain what the point is of tellers in petrol stations asking if you have ‘any fuel?’ Do they think they’re catching folk out with this? ‘Well I was going to nick it, but now you’ve asked, I’ll own up. I wouldn’t want to be a liar on top of a thief. Cos that would be Double Jeopardy.’

I was recently asked this question twice, the second time after my ‘no’ response obviously wasn’t clear enough for the guy. I almost pointed out to him that he had asked me two needless questions when zero needless questions was the requisite amount. Though I felt I couldn’t do this without at some point changing my tone, so I decided against it.

And why do Subway feel the need to ask you 7 different questions when all you want is a sandwich. Mitch Hedberg: “What kind of bread? Banana. Any cheese? Yeah cottage.”

Which leads me to…I find it weird that I’m worrying slightly about my favourite comic and cynic Doug Stanhope. He posted this on his website yesterday.

“I keep having dreams about Hedberg. I keep trying to write his parents but I dont know what to say. I'd like to eat mushrooms with them so they could see things the way he saw them. Then they might understand a bit. But I dont think that is going to happen.”

With guys on the edge like Stanhope you never know where they’re going to turn next.

Have you seen the tragic yet hilarious story of ex-East 17 man Brian Harvey? Ran over by his own car, which he was driving at the time. Some say it’s a suicide attempt and others a tragic accident. I think I go with the accident theory, cos like his manager says, who could have planned that? Alasdair suggested that if it was a suicide attempt perhaps Goths would change their music and dress of choice to East 17 and their ilk.

The suicide talk brought up Kurt Cobain. However I think Cobain would have killed himself no matter if he was an international rock star or a gas station attendant. Harvey’s depression seems to stem from the ‘I had it all and now I’ve lost it and what the fuck do I do now?’ camp.