This is from the blog of one of Britain hardest working comedians Ashley Frieze. His blog is usually boring, but this entry as well as being stupid and disappointing (‘cos he’s actually quite funny), it’s also a perfect example of the delusional construct within which most of us are expected to work every day.
“I see it as important for everyone in the team to get on and will do my best to keep people cheery and talking. I don't want to pander to people's sensitivities; I also don't intend to ignore them. The goals of the team are collective goals. Every individual member is important, but it's selfish for any individual to make their feelings an issue for the team. It's also a poor team that steams ahead and crushes anyone (member or otherwise) in its way.
Management is a tough job. Keeping people happy is too hard and is not a management goal. It is, in my opinion, rather cowardly management that seeks always to have buy in and happy campers (ooh, there's that "camp" thing again). Management is about leadership, knowing when to dictate and when to impel. Management is about facing problems, not sweeping them under the carpet, or hoping they'll go away in the end. Management is about facing down individuals and protecting the team.”
It’s about time we knocked this “team” shit on the fucking head is it not?
A “team” is only a “team” when every member shares in the rewards of success. That’s not the case in the vast majority of British firms. At most firms “teams” exist to create a false sense of competition between employees in order to generate higher productivity for which the employees derive no real reward. A warm beer and a slice of pizza on a Friday is generally considered ample.
The “team” concept has another function of course, to make people who are unhappy within the “team” feel they are letting the side down if they complain about their, jobs, wages etc. Management use this false concept of reality not only to gain higher productivity without expenditure but to oppress and vilify any employee who dares question their overly regimented and constructed office lives.
In short, the moaning “team” member lives in actual reality, where he or she is struggling to pay the bills, exhausted by workload and pissed off by the corporate bullshit surrounding the job.
The manager lives in a delusional self constructed fantasy wherein all an employees genuine concerns about their wages etc are secondary to the fake concept of the “team”, a construct as much designed by company owners to oppress and exploit those in middle-management as well as the employees they pitifully attempt to lord it over.
In my experience, the only difference between a manager and a pleb in the British office environment is that the manager has swallowed a whole lot of fairly transparent bullshit, either because he or she is a moron, or they have no ambition beyond climbing the corporate ladder.
Since Ashley obviously has comedic ambitions away from the office, you have to assume he’s just a fucking idiot.
Your average pleb who wants to stay a pleb, and there are millions of us, can’t quite get used to the taste of corporate cock, and we really do wish these middle-management fannies would stop trying to think of ways to justify themselves and leave us alone. Who knows, they could even pitch in and do some actual work. Just a thought.
Ashley goes on at some length on the subject of what “…management is about”.
It seems fairly obvious reading between the lines that someone in his “team” has had a go at him and he’s trying to parlay his hurt feelings into something he can draw comfort from. Who cares if no-one likes me, I’m a good manager.
It’s important to remember though that what “…management is about” really is doing rich people's dirty work for them. Managers are worthless shills, pure and simple.
It may transpire that Tom and I will have to do some business with this clown during the course of the comedy festival and I will not be looking forward to meeting him. There are more than enough totals pricks in my life as it is (myself not least amongst them).
Thursday, 16 December 2004
Tuesday, 14 December 2004
Massivo Blogo
Well done to Tom there for leaping from his sick bed to batter out his thoughts on last night's tele. Going against Doctor's advice to give you pish to read every day is the kind of commitment the big man rarely gets the proper credit for.
As for me, no such large-ness, as I don't have my feet up and my hand half way down my kegs at home on the skive like some...
I am of course anxious to watch the Big Ron Documentry when the tape comes my way, but it will have to fit in around my latest passion, Football Manager 2005.
I have been barely functioning in reality since I got it a couple of weeks ago. So far three titles, two league cups and one Scottish...
One thing I will say though is ahahahahahahaha, to Nick Griffin and John Tyndall, two Nazi bastards who have been arrested for inciting racial hatred.
While I totally disagree with the new law, which infringes on everyone's basic human right to freedom of speech, I am quite glad that one of the first to get bitten in the arse by it is that daft looking David Bowie eyed toolbag, who, despite having his cover blown like a million times, still tries to masquerade as a legitimate politician. Nick being Nick, he will spin his arrest into martyrdom of course, for the benefit of the half dozen or so closet case basement dwellers who still give a toss about what he says and does.
The current Government have a truly dumb habit of helping insignificant fools like Griffin get into the papers with these idiotic "crackdown" style laws, that only serve to give front page space to a dullard most people, even most racists, stopped listening to several years ago.
Speaking of the Government, I don't want to get all preachy and Conservative here, but isn't the reason Blunkett should resign because he's split up a family?
I don't give a toss if he helped his lover get a nanny, or if he gave her a couple of train tickets.
I do however question the character of a man who casually decides he's telling a guy that the kids he thought were his are not. Why didn't he just announce it on Trisha? And since when did powerful men putting their cocks wherever they damn well please, sod the consequences, not go to moral character? You can't hide behind this "right to a private life" pish for everything. Besides, maintaining any kind of private life will be all the more difficult when Blunkett wastes billions on his completely unnecessary ID cards. Where's my right to a private life in all that eh, you boorish home wrecker?
Still on the Government, their latest "crackdown" is apparently going to be skiving, which I'm doing right now, or more accurately, cutting sick pay in their bid to trim tax spending down to just the Iraq war and free stuff for all their mates.
Apparently too many people are abusing "the system" and they'll be taking measures to cut Civil Service/Government employees sick pay forthwith.
Those cheeky bastards.
Maybe if we didn't work the most stressful jobs for the shittiest pay for the longest hours and the least holidays in Europe, there might be less sickies.
What are we paying taxes for nowadays, really? We're already being told oops, sorry, no pension, now sick pay is getting cut back?
What utterly infuriates me is this tremendously arrogant and sly New Labour trait of taking the total pish out of people by accusing them of letting the country down, as if Labour and Tony Blair "are Britain". It's exactly how big companies get folk to stay on for the hours of unpaid, off the books overtime, the kind you never hear Tony complaining about, despite the lost tax revenue.
It is difficult to comprehend the delusional gall of a Government who appear to genuinely believe they are entitled to our automatic respected just because they are in charge, like some bawbag call-centre supervisor.
Way back in the depths of time, respect was earned, with a demonstration of ability.
Not any more though.
These days, if we are to fall into line with New Labour thinking, we are dangerously close to showing a lack of respect for the nation as a whole if we so much as question our illustrious leaders.
It’s enough to make you want to phone in sick.
Oops, turned out to be quite a long one after all, eh?
As for me, no such large-ness, as I don't have my feet up and my hand half way down my kegs at home on the skive like some...
I am of course anxious to watch the Big Ron Documentry when the tape comes my way, but it will have to fit in around my latest passion, Football Manager 2005.
I have been barely functioning in reality since I got it a couple of weeks ago. So far three titles, two league cups and one Scottish...
One thing I will say though is ahahahahahahaha, to Nick Griffin and John Tyndall, two Nazi bastards who have been arrested for inciting racial hatred.
While I totally disagree with the new law, which infringes on everyone's basic human right to freedom of speech, I am quite glad that one of the first to get bitten in the arse by it is that daft looking David Bowie eyed toolbag, who, despite having his cover blown like a million times, still tries to masquerade as a legitimate politician. Nick being Nick, he will spin his arrest into martyrdom of course, for the benefit of the half dozen or so closet case basement dwellers who still give a toss about what he says and does.
The current Government have a truly dumb habit of helping insignificant fools like Griffin get into the papers with these idiotic "crackdown" style laws, that only serve to give front page space to a dullard most people, even most racists, stopped listening to several years ago.
Speaking of the Government, I don't want to get all preachy and Conservative here, but isn't the reason Blunkett should resign because he's split up a family?
I don't give a toss if he helped his lover get a nanny, or if he gave her a couple of train tickets.
I do however question the character of a man who casually decides he's telling a guy that the kids he thought were his are not. Why didn't he just announce it on Trisha? And since when did powerful men putting their cocks wherever they damn well please, sod the consequences, not go to moral character? You can't hide behind this "right to a private life" pish for everything. Besides, maintaining any kind of private life will be all the more difficult when Blunkett wastes billions on his completely unnecessary ID cards. Where's my right to a private life in all that eh, you boorish home wrecker?
Still on the Government, their latest "crackdown" is apparently going to be skiving, which I'm doing right now, or more accurately, cutting sick pay in their bid to trim tax spending down to just the Iraq war and free stuff for all their mates.
Apparently too many people are abusing "the system" and they'll be taking measures to cut Civil Service/Government employees sick pay forthwith.
Those cheeky bastards.
Maybe if we didn't work the most stressful jobs for the shittiest pay for the longest hours and the least holidays in Europe, there might be less sickies.
What are we paying taxes for nowadays, really? We're already being told oops, sorry, no pension, now sick pay is getting cut back?
What utterly infuriates me is this tremendously arrogant and sly New Labour trait of taking the total pish out of people by accusing them of letting the country down, as if Labour and Tony Blair "are Britain". It's exactly how big companies get folk to stay on for the hours of unpaid, off the books overtime, the kind you never hear Tony complaining about, despite the lost tax revenue.
It is difficult to comprehend the delusional gall of a Government who appear to genuinely believe they are entitled to our automatic respected just because they are in charge, like some bawbag call-centre supervisor.
Way back in the depths of time, respect was earned, with a demonstration of ability.
Not any more though.
These days, if we are to fall into line with New Labour thinking, we are dangerously close to showing a lack of respect for the nation as a whole if we so much as question our illustrious leaders.
It’s enough to make you want to phone in sick.
Oops, turned out to be quite a long one after all, eh?
St Richard & Big Ron
It was a pretty good night for documentaries on TV last night. First up was St Richard of Austin a doc on filmmaker Richard Linklater. I've been a fan of his work since Dazed and Confused. I had seen his debut Slackers, but it was only when I saw his 70s teen high school film that I really took to him.
Although the film touched on his cinematic influences like Robert Bresson, it also highlighted how he had reworked philosophies from people like Albert Camus and made them his own. What really struck a chord with me was a lot of it centred round Linklater's hatred for having a real job and his dislike of people working in offices.
"There's a job. A career. And a calling."
Linklater seemed to be hammering home a point, of if you have to work in an office, just don't buy their corporate bullshit. It was nice timing, since at work for some reason they have begun to attempt to get me to treat my nothing job like it's some first step on a career path. I will be having a rant about this at a later date. What would have made this a 5 star doc was if the documentary maker hadn't been trying to go down that Nick Broomfield route of making himself a central figure in it.
Onto the evening's second entertaining documentary. What Ron Said, an examination of the comment that cost Ron Atkinson his lucrative job on ITV and his column in The Guardian. This was part documentary and part damage limitation PR exercise for Big Ron. Basically Ron realises what he said was wrong, immediately resigned and has apologised several times for his comments. However he feels he has served his time and that 7 figures a year position should once again be his.
Sometimes it was hard not to feel sorry for him. He so hates the thought of being thought of as a racist that he would do anything and go anywhere to disprove it. Including heading over to Birmingham, Alabama and going on a right wing radio station where they put 'Ron on Trial.' "You're out of order there..." He then had to listen bemused as a veritable Lynch Mob of Rednecks phoned in to offer him support.
He then went to the local university to ask a group of black kids why it was all right for them to call each other 'nigga' when he couldn't do it. "It's all or nothing in my book."
It also turns out that Ron has previous for this sort of thing. In 1990 during the England-Cameroon World Cup Quarter Final he was caught out saying that he would only get in trouble for a borderline racist comment if the Cameroon player's Mum was "watching up a tree."
"That was just a bit of banter."
Atkinson has a history of playing black players in his teams and some of them like Brendan Batson and Carlton Palmer appeared. Batson was somewhat surprised by what Ron had said and asked for an explanation and Palmer was gushing in his praise. It may have been telling that it didn't appear that Ron had a history of using language like that.
He visited a museum where racist propaganda was on display and it was testament to Ron's honesty that he commented so honestly that he was almost on the fringe of getting himself in to more bother.
In my opinion I don't think Big Ron is a racist. I don't believe he thinks that any ethnicity is better than any other. However what Ron is, is a bit thick. He's from a time where casual racist comments were acceptable, Ron just hasn't moved on. One thing that illustrates this was apparent last night, though not commented on. A clip of West Brom playing in the 70s showed the late Laurie Cunningham (I believe the first black player, to play at any level for England and went on to play for Real Madrid and Manchester United) cross for Cyrille Regis. The commentator, John Motson, exclaimed "The two coloured players combining well there." Now if he uttered that on Match of the Day this weekend there'd be an outcry. At the time it wasn't out of place. Black footballers were few and far between and Big Ron was proud that he had most of them in his team. Ron just simply hasn't moved his thinking on from that time. He's the kind of guy that believes that the words 'nigger' and 'darkie' don't hold any more offence than 'speccy' or 'fatty.'
What Ron struggles to comprehend is that having shown himself capable of a racist comment and ignorant thinking that his career should be over for good. I don't know why he thinks something like this should have a time limit. Former players like Frank McAvennie and Paul Gascoigne have tried their hand at punditry and the reason they no longer do it, is cos they don't have the necessary skills. They were both incomprehensible and frankly a bit daft. (Gascoigne being a wife beater, should never have been allowed in the first place). Atkinson has ruled himself out of punditry for similar and more serious reasons. While representing ITV he showed himself up as an ignorant buffoon, happy to use language that should be confined to history. If Ron was commentating on the next round of the Champions' League, I would not be bothered, but plenty of people don't get the chance to do that, and I think Ron's time is over.
Although the film touched on his cinematic influences like Robert Bresson, it also highlighted how he had reworked philosophies from people like Albert Camus and made them his own. What really struck a chord with me was a lot of it centred round Linklater's hatred for having a real job and his dislike of people working in offices.
"There's a job. A career. And a calling."
Linklater seemed to be hammering home a point, of if you have to work in an office, just don't buy their corporate bullshit. It was nice timing, since at work for some reason they have begun to attempt to get me to treat my nothing job like it's some first step on a career path. I will be having a rant about this at a later date. What would have made this a 5 star doc was if the documentary maker hadn't been trying to go down that Nick Broomfield route of making himself a central figure in it.
Onto the evening's second entertaining documentary. What Ron Said, an examination of the comment that cost Ron Atkinson his lucrative job on ITV and his column in The Guardian. This was part documentary and part damage limitation PR exercise for Big Ron. Basically Ron realises what he said was wrong, immediately resigned and has apologised several times for his comments. However he feels he has served his time and that 7 figures a year position should once again be his.
Sometimes it was hard not to feel sorry for him. He so hates the thought of being thought of as a racist that he would do anything and go anywhere to disprove it. Including heading over to Birmingham, Alabama and going on a right wing radio station where they put 'Ron on Trial.' "You're out of order there..." He then had to listen bemused as a veritable Lynch Mob of Rednecks phoned in to offer him support.
He then went to the local university to ask a group of black kids why it was all right for them to call each other 'nigga' when he couldn't do it. "It's all or nothing in my book."
It also turns out that Ron has previous for this sort of thing. In 1990 during the England-Cameroon World Cup Quarter Final he was caught out saying that he would only get in trouble for a borderline racist comment if the Cameroon player's Mum was "watching up a tree."
"That was just a bit of banter."
Atkinson has a history of playing black players in his teams and some of them like Brendan Batson and Carlton Palmer appeared. Batson was somewhat surprised by what Ron had said and asked for an explanation and Palmer was gushing in his praise. It may have been telling that it didn't appear that Ron had a history of using language like that.
He visited a museum where racist propaganda was on display and it was testament to Ron's honesty that he commented so honestly that he was almost on the fringe of getting himself in to more bother.
In my opinion I don't think Big Ron is a racist. I don't believe he thinks that any ethnicity is better than any other. However what Ron is, is a bit thick. He's from a time where casual racist comments were acceptable, Ron just hasn't moved on. One thing that illustrates this was apparent last night, though not commented on. A clip of West Brom playing in the 70s showed the late Laurie Cunningham (I believe the first black player, to play at any level for England and went on to play for Real Madrid and Manchester United) cross for Cyrille Regis. The commentator, John Motson, exclaimed "The two coloured players combining well there." Now if he uttered that on Match of the Day this weekend there'd be an outcry. At the time it wasn't out of place. Black footballers were few and far between and Big Ron was proud that he had most of them in his team. Ron just simply hasn't moved his thinking on from that time. He's the kind of guy that believes that the words 'nigger' and 'darkie' don't hold any more offence than 'speccy' or 'fatty.'
What Ron struggles to comprehend is that having shown himself capable of a racist comment and ignorant thinking that his career should be over for good. I don't know why he thinks something like this should have a time limit. Former players like Frank McAvennie and Paul Gascoigne have tried their hand at punditry and the reason they no longer do it, is cos they don't have the necessary skills. They were both incomprehensible and frankly a bit daft. (Gascoigne being a wife beater, should never have been allowed in the first place). Atkinson has ruled himself out of punditry for similar and more serious reasons. While representing ITV he showed himself up as an ignorant buffoon, happy to use language that should be confined to history. If Ron was commentating on the next round of the Champions' League, I would not be bothered, but plenty of people don't get the chance to do that, and I think Ron's time is over.
Monday, 13 December 2004
Football, Cold and It's A Wonderful Life
On Saturday I went to the Rangers - Dundee game. I got a free ticket. Nice to get to a game again, even if it isn't my favourite crowd of folk to sit in, though the sectarian chanting wasn't all that bad. As for the match it was all over as a contest in the 4th minute when Rangers went 2-0 up.
I'm currently suffering from a miserable cold, that wasn't helped by going to the football on Saturday afternoon certainly.
In other news, I'm about to do a wee bit of acting next week. I've joined The Radio Theatre Group for their Christmas productions of It's A Wonderful Life and A Christmas Carol. My part isn't all that big. I get to juggle five roles in It's A Wonderful Life. Having looked over the script I see that this involves me having a couple of conversations with myself. I'm confident that I can go The Hank Azaria School of Voice Acting and pull it off.
I'm currently suffering from a miserable cold, that wasn't helped by going to the football on Saturday afternoon certainly.
In other news, I'm about to do a wee bit of acting next week. I've joined The Radio Theatre Group for their Christmas productions of It's A Wonderful Life and A Christmas Carol. My part isn't all that big. I get to juggle five roles in It's A Wonderful Life. Having looked over the script I see that this involves me having a couple of conversations with myself. I'm confident that I can go The Hank Azaria School of Voice Acting and pull it off.
When Fate Nudges You Gently…
Some odd perhaps prophetic experiences this week to do with our upcoming show “You Owe Me Glue”. While the show itself remains a half-written shambles, I did run into a mate I hadn’t seen for over 10 years who now dishes out funding for the arts, who told me we might be able to get a few quid out of him.
The only catch is we would have to start up a proper company, which would be pretty pointless for just one event, wouldn’t it?
Step in Alan Anderson, who on Saturday, offered Tom and I the chance to take over running the comedy club at O’Neils. So there may be a point to starting up a company after all.
Is fate sharply booting me and the big man up the arse? God knows we need it.
Anyway, we’ll keep you posted on how we manage to fuck up this opportunity as events unfold.
The only catch is we would have to start up a proper company, which would be pretty pointless for just one event, wouldn’t it?
Step in Alan Anderson, who on Saturday, offered Tom and I the chance to take over running the comedy club at O’Neils. So there may be a point to starting up a company after all.
Is fate sharply booting me and the big man up the arse? God knows we need it.
Anyway, we’ll keep you posted on how we manage to fuck up this opportunity as events unfold.
Friday, 10 December 2004
Where Have We Been?
We've not posted much this week...er, no real reason. What can I think of...Fizz and I were out with the Policeman who caught this guy last night. We did rubbish in the pub quiz though.
In other news, I'm going here for dinner tonight.
Here's some stuff about music.
Go have a look and listen to one of my new favourite bands Ted Leo & the Pharmacists. There's an album's worth of mp3s on the site. After that why not listen to some mp3s on Ben Kweller's site. You can also have a listen to Brendan Benson as well.
What about this courtesy of Tommy. Basically it's a legal music download site in russia. but mega cheap. instead of 99p a song, it's lke $5 for 500mb of downloads.
That's about it for the moment. I plan on a visit or two to the movies over the weekend. I'll be sure to post any reviews come Monday.
In other news, I'm going here for dinner tonight.
Here's some stuff about music.
Go have a look and listen to one of my new favourite bands Ted Leo & the Pharmacists. There's an album's worth of mp3s on the site. After that why not listen to some mp3s on Ben Kweller's site. You can also have a listen to Brendan Benson as well.
What about this courtesy of Tommy. Basically it's a legal music download site in russia. but mega cheap. instead of 99p a song, it's lke $5 for 500mb of downloads.
That's about it for the moment. I plan on a visit or two to the movies over the weekend. I'll be sure to post any reviews come Monday.
Monday, 6 December 2004
A Sad Weekend for Footie
It's been a tragic weekend for footballers. Two deaths and one loss of finger to report. Former Aberdeen cult hero Hicham Zerouali was killed in a car crash in Rabbat and Brazilian Cristiano Junior died while playing for his club Dempo SC in India. He had bagged two goals in the game, as had Zerouali at the weekend.
Paulo Diogo of Swiss side Servette lost his finger after a goal celebration went wrong. The 5th paragraph of the story made me laugh though.
Paulo Diogo of Swiss side Servette lost his finger after a goal celebration went wrong. The 5th paragraph of the story made me laugh though.
My Top 10 from the 90s
After some deliberation I have submitted my 90s Top Ten. All songs I played frequently some for years.
1. Metal Mickey – Suede
2. Teenage Angst – Placebo
3. The Drowners – Suede
4. Insomniac – Echobelly
5. Been Caught Stealing – Jane’s Addiction
6. Today – Smashing Pumpkins
7. Fighting Fit - Gene
8. Miss Misery – Elliott Smith
9. Iceblink Luck - Cocteau Twins
10. Cannonball - The Breeders
Be sure to get your list in if you haven't done so.
1. Metal Mickey – Suede
2. Teenage Angst – Placebo
3. The Drowners – Suede
4. Insomniac – Echobelly
5. Been Caught Stealing – Jane’s Addiction
6. Today – Smashing Pumpkins
7. Fighting Fit - Gene
8. Miss Misery – Elliott Smith
9. Iceblink Luck - Cocteau Twins
10. Cannonball - The Breeders
Be sure to get your list in if you haven't done so.
I Also Complain
Having endured a couple of nightmare incidents thanks to First Buses, I have decided to following in Ronnie's footsteps and have a good moan about it.
I'm posting the following off today:
Dear Sir/Madam,
I find myself once again forced to complain about the appalling standard of service offered by your company this past week.
On Thursday 2nd December I took me over an hour and a half to get from Maryhill to Battlefield. Just over seven miles as the crow flies, so congratulations on managing to make my journey time longer than it would have been had I been travelling to Edinburgh or Kilmarnock.
The reason? Well, apart from the fact that your company seems to have decided that it would be hilarious if every bus you run goes down Union Street at the same time, every passenger on the 44 service I was travelling on was unceremoniously turfed off at Larkfield depot for reasons the driver felt best kept to himself.
I did however manage to establish that there was nothing wrong with the bus itself, which leaves me mystified as to why paying customers were bundled off the bus and forced to wait another 10 minutes in the freezing cold until another bus deigned to let us on.
Have you any explanation for this incident? Usually when a company treat you like a mug, they do at least provide some sort of cursory explanation for their behaviour. See if you can come up with anything.
Onto incident number two. This occurred in the early hours of Sunday morning (5th December).
Having spend a pleasant evening with some friends at the Woodside Social (really, you must go), I decided to forgo the hassle of queuing for a Taxi and get the 66 back down the road.
Imagine my surprise then when I found that I was to be charged £2.00 for my journey, 80p above the normal fare.
Apparently your firm reckons it’s a great idea to arbitrarily raise prices in the kind of “take it or leave it” manner you might expect from a drug dealer. A kind observer might call this blatant profiteering, I however would describe it as extortion, and the remarkably shabby treatment of loyal customers.
So lets move on to redress.
For my nightmare Thursday I’m going to be looking for £14.50. That’s an hour and a half at your driver’s rate of pay plus a refund of my £2.50 day ticket. £2.50 of course because I work for a living and therefore have to be on a bus before 9.30 am, which apparently means I have to be charged more than people who just fancy nipping over to the park of an afternoon.
As for Saturday/Sunday, because you can’t be bothered employing people who can make change, I had already put my £1.20 into the machine before your driver demanded I cross his palm with 80 pence more. I only had another quid, so that’s another pound you owe me.
I will expect my cheque for £15.50 by return of post.
Big shout out to all the lads, you’re all doing a bang up job.
Oh and if you want to discuss the issues I have raised over the phone be sure and leave it until after 7pm to call. I only get out of work at 5.30 remember.
Yours sincerely,
Fraser Campbell
I'm posting the following off today:
Dear Sir/Madam,
I find myself once again forced to complain about the appalling standard of service offered by your company this past week.
On Thursday 2nd December I took me over an hour and a half to get from Maryhill to Battlefield. Just over seven miles as the crow flies, so congratulations on managing to make my journey time longer than it would have been had I been travelling to Edinburgh or Kilmarnock.
The reason? Well, apart from the fact that your company seems to have decided that it would be hilarious if every bus you run goes down Union Street at the same time, every passenger on the 44 service I was travelling on was unceremoniously turfed off at Larkfield depot for reasons the driver felt best kept to himself.
I did however manage to establish that there was nothing wrong with the bus itself, which leaves me mystified as to why paying customers were bundled off the bus and forced to wait another 10 minutes in the freezing cold until another bus deigned to let us on.
Have you any explanation for this incident? Usually when a company treat you like a mug, they do at least provide some sort of cursory explanation for their behaviour. See if you can come up with anything.
Onto incident number two. This occurred in the early hours of Sunday morning (5th December).
Having spend a pleasant evening with some friends at the Woodside Social (really, you must go), I decided to forgo the hassle of queuing for a Taxi and get the 66 back down the road.
Imagine my surprise then when I found that I was to be charged £2.00 for my journey, 80p above the normal fare.
Apparently your firm reckons it’s a great idea to arbitrarily raise prices in the kind of “take it or leave it” manner you might expect from a drug dealer. A kind observer might call this blatant profiteering, I however would describe it as extortion, and the remarkably shabby treatment of loyal customers.
So lets move on to redress.
For my nightmare Thursday I’m going to be looking for £14.50. That’s an hour and a half at your driver’s rate of pay plus a refund of my £2.50 day ticket. £2.50 of course because I work for a living and therefore have to be on a bus before 9.30 am, which apparently means I have to be charged more than people who just fancy nipping over to the park of an afternoon.
As for Saturday/Sunday, because you can’t be bothered employing people who can make change, I had already put my £1.20 into the machine before your driver demanded I cross his palm with 80 pence more. I only had another quid, so that’s another pound you owe me.
I will expect my cheque for £15.50 by return of post.
Big shout out to all the lads, you’re all doing a bang up job.
Oh and if you want to discuss the issues I have raised over the phone be sure and leave it until after 7pm to call. I only get out of work at 5.30 remember.
Yours sincerely,
Fraser Campbell
Friday, 3 December 2004
Spot the un-deliberate mistake...
As if you needed any proof that I am in fact a giant fanny who rarely if ever knows what he’s on about, I’ve realised that 2 of my top ten of the 90’s are actually from the 80’s.
“Gigantic” by The Pixies came out in '88 and “Epic” by the mighty Faith No More came out in 1989.
As such, my top ten, all checked and verified now reads like this:
1. Web in Front - Archers of Loaf
2. Been Caught Stealing - Jane’s Addiction
3. Tunic (Song for Karen) - Sonic Youth
4. Smells like Teen Spirit - Nirvana
5. Sabotage – Beastie Boys
6. Cut Your Hair – Pavement
7. Sunless Saturday – Fishbone
8. Bullet in the Head – Rage Against The Machine
9. Leave Them All Behind – Ride
10. Fade into You – Mazzy Star
Sorry for any inconvenience and of course, sorry for making myself look like a big fud…
“Gigantic” by The Pixies came out in '88 and “Epic” by the mighty Faith No More came out in 1989.
As such, my top ten, all checked and verified now reads like this:
1. Web in Front - Archers of Loaf
2. Been Caught Stealing - Jane’s Addiction
3. Tunic (Song for Karen) - Sonic Youth
4. Smells like Teen Spirit - Nirvana
5. Sabotage – Beastie Boys
6. Cut Your Hair – Pavement
7. Sunless Saturday – Fishbone
8. Bullet in the Head – Rage Against The Machine
9. Leave Them All Behind – Ride
10. Fade into You – Mazzy Star
Sorry for any inconvenience and of course, sorry for making myself look like a big fud…
Thursday, 2 December 2004
My 90's Top Ten
Here's my 90's Top Ten after quibbling for a fair bit. What I've tried to do is go for songs I just couldn't stop playing when I first heard them, even if now they are no longer my favorite tracks by that particular artist. So these are the ones that had a real impact at the time.
Also here is a detailed and fun top 100 albums of the 90's site, and guess what's number one?
Fucking "OK Computer".
"OK Computer simply is the nineties..." the guy writes. Yeah, yeah, yeah...
Web In Front - Archers of Loaf
Been Caught Stealing - Jane’s Addiction
Epic - Faith No More
Tunic (Song for Karen) - Sonic Youth
Smells Like Teen Spirit - Nirvana
Sabotage – Beastie Boys
Cut Your Hair - Pavement
Sunless Saturday - Fishbone
Gigantic - The Pixies
Leave Them All Behind - Ride
Also here is a detailed and fun top 100 albums of the 90's site, and guess what's number one?
Fucking "OK Computer".
"OK Computer simply is the nineties..." the guy writes. Yeah, yeah, yeah...
Web In Front - Archers of Loaf
Been Caught Stealing - Jane’s Addiction
Epic - Faith No More
Tunic (Song for Karen) - Sonic Youth
Smells Like Teen Spirit - Nirvana
Sabotage – Beastie Boys
Cut Your Hair - Pavement
Sunless Saturday - Fishbone
Gigantic - The Pixies
Leave Them All Behind - Ride
90 for the 90s
Here Talking Pish join forces with 160676 to bring you 90 from the 90s. We're compiling 90 great songs from the 1990s. Hopefully we can post them up once the list has been compiled. Go to the site, get your list compiled and send it in.
Yesterday's Men Are Calling
Feeling blue? A bit down at your work? What if I told you that I could get Willis from TV's Diff'rent Strokes to give you a quick bell and see if you were all right? Or TV's The Hulk? Or ex-heavyweight Champ Larry Holmes? Well I can and so can you. Unfortunately Lorenzo Lamas appears to have called in sick today.
Mamme, How I loves Ya...
You have to take a ganders at this.
Apparently, Spanish football supremos reckon that getting their players to black up for matches will prove they are not racist.
Plus of course it's always great to have a few rousing verses of "Way down upon the Swanee river" before a game of footie.
Perhaps black players can return the favour by dressing up as matadors before matches while humming of garlic and onions.
Apparently, Spanish football supremos reckon that getting their players to black up for matches will prove they are not racist.
Plus of course it's always great to have a few rousing verses of "Way down upon the Swanee river" before a game of footie.
Perhaps black players can return the favour by dressing up as matadors before matches while humming of garlic and onions.
Wednesday, 1 December 2004
Oooh Funny Man
Last night I was out making wisecracks in some nightclub. This time I played The Stand in Glasgow. It went quite well. I got a good response and felt quite confident on stage. Some of my jokes are still slow burners though. The pound shops one-liner seems to take a moment or two to compute especially. The compere was Tony Carter who managed to forget my name. he could only remember that my surname had something to do with shoes. “Tom Shoes!” He did apologise quite profusely afterwards though. I wasn’t really all that bothered and other than that he was quite a good compere. He did though introduce himself at the start of the second part of the show as The Dead John Peel. Seems that was the only impression he can do. The same dilemma happened to me when Mother Theresa died.
Although it did go okay, I really do think I prefer The Stand in Edinburgh. I’ve played them both twice each now and the Edinburgh one just has a better atmosphere to it.
As for the other acts, well as per usual it was patchy. When you come up with a joke about leukemia what goes through your head? Do you think it’s funny? Think it’s an original thought? Are you aware that it’s not funny and firmly belongs in the 1970s? Two things to remember whenever you’re doing a piece of material that may be offensive. 1.) Have a fucking point. 2.) Don’t pick on people weaker than you.
The girl on after me, Susan someone or other was quite funny right enough. I guess I could describe her as a kind of female Peter Kay.
The star of the show though was an act called ‘Gayle.’ Only a few people will know what I’m on about here but I haven’t laughed as hard or as self consciously since the shaved teddy, which the spectacle brought to mind. ‘Gayle’ was a 4’5” middle aged man dressed as an 18 year old girl in fake breasts, T-shirt, tartan mini and boots complete with an ill fitting wig. It was the first time I had laughed at someone in a comedy club and felt quite bad about it. It’s pretty hard to describe ‘Gayle’s act, it revolved around sex, especially sex with ‘Leonardo.’ ‘Gayle’ was waiting for me backstage when I came off, which freaked me out a wee bit, as her act had finished about 20 minutes before. It’s kinda hard to take compliments off someone who you think might actually be mental. He was just wandering around in costume for the rest of the evening, chatting to folk and scaring them off.
My sole supporter last night was Pretty Boy Paul. I was just glad that someone was there to witness ‘Gayle’ with me. Jo couldn’t make it as she was on the guestlist to see Sting in Milan. “So I guess you’re not coming to see me at The Stand?” I can see where her loyalties lie.
Onto sadder news now as I regret to report of the untimely demise of Graham Hosie. I have no idea how Mr Hosie met his end, as I can only presume he has passed due to this e-mail he sent me a few weeks ago.
“No I will be a definite for the 30th of Nov at the Stand, that is a promise I intend to keep unless I'm dead. G”
I will be sending The Widow Hosie a bouquet of flowers post haste and asking her out after an acceptable period of mourning. However perhaps he was just in the huff after me picking him up on his Ted Demme/Jonathan Demme fuax pas the other day there over on TING. “No, Tom they’re like a cinematic Randall and Hopkirk (Deceased).”
If I was doing a gig in the bar of the UGC you’d make it Ho, eh? That is if you could fit it in between a double bill of Telles sont mes Pousses with Gerard Depardieu and Emmanuelle Beart and Registration Suspended starring Richard Greccio, Susan Dey and Cheech Marin. It’s no problem for Grant to fit me in to his busy schedule! 4th December Hosie! 4th December!
Although it did go okay, I really do think I prefer The Stand in Edinburgh. I’ve played them both twice each now and the Edinburgh one just has a better atmosphere to it.
As for the other acts, well as per usual it was patchy. When you come up with a joke about leukemia what goes through your head? Do you think it’s funny? Think it’s an original thought? Are you aware that it’s not funny and firmly belongs in the 1970s? Two things to remember whenever you’re doing a piece of material that may be offensive. 1.) Have a fucking point. 2.) Don’t pick on people weaker than you.
The girl on after me, Susan someone or other was quite funny right enough. I guess I could describe her as a kind of female Peter Kay.
The star of the show though was an act called ‘Gayle.’ Only a few people will know what I’m on about here but I haven’t laughed as hard or as self consciously since the shaved teddy, which the spectacle brought to mind. ‘Gayle’ was a 4’5” middle aged man dressed as an 18 year old girl in fake breasts, T-shirt, tartan mini and boots complete with an ill fitting wig. It was the first time I had laughed at someone in a comedy club and felt quite bad about it. It’s pretty hard to describe ‘Gayle’s act, it revolved around sex, especially sex with ‘Leonardo.’ ‘Gayle’ was waiting for me backstage when I came off, which freaked me out a wee bit, as her act had finished about 20 minutes before. It’s kinda hard to take compliments off someone who you think might actually be mental. He was just wandering around in costume for the rest of the evening, chatting to folk and scaring them off.
My sole supporter last night was Pretty Boy Paul. I was just glad that someone was there to witness ‘Gayle’ with me. Jo couldn’t make it as she was on the guestlist to see Sting in Milan. “So I guess you’re not coming to see me at The Stand?” I can see where her loyalties lie.
Onto sadder news now as I regret to report of the untimely demise of Graham Hosie. I have no idea how Mr Hosie met his end, as I can only presume he has passed due to this e-mail he sent me a few weeks ago.
“No I will be a definite for the 30th of Nov at the Stand, that is a promise I intend to keep unless I'm dead. G”
I will be sending The Widow Hosie a bouquet of flowers post haste and asking her out after an acceptable period of mourning. However perhaps he was just in the huff after me picking him up on his Ted Demme/Jonathan Demme fuax pas the other day there over on TING. “No, Tom they’re like a cinematic Randall and Hopkirk (Deceased).”
If I was doing a gig in the bar of the UGC you’d make it Ho, eh? That is if you could fit it in between a double bill of Telles sont mes Pousses with Gerard Depardieu and Emmanuelle Beart and Registration Suspended starring Richard Greccio, Susan Dey and Cheech Marin. It’s no problem for Grant to fit me in to his busy schedule! 4th December Hosie! 4th December!
Tuesday, 30 November 2004
You Take Her Over Any Sweet Jumps?
About two years ago the film that everywhere you went people asked you if you had saw was Donnie Darko. In the next few weeks I reckon people are going to be saying the same thing about Napoleon Dynamite. From seeing the trailer, just the two words 'sweet jumps' is enough to crease me up.
I Heart Huckabees
I did a lengthy post about my action packed weekend yesterday, but alas it didn't publish. Probably for the best. So I'll just say quickly, I highly recommend I ♥ Huckabees (4/5). I struggled to describe it to folk before I saw it and I still struggle now. It's certainly not to everyone's taste, but it had the right mix of quirky and funny for me. There's some great performances from Jason Schwartzman, Mark Whalberg, Dustin Hoffman and Lily Tomlin. There's also a wonderful soundtrack from Jon Brion.
Friday, 26 November 2004
"Punk's Morecambe and Wise"
Today's Guardian has a good interview with Shane MacGowan and The Pogues. Which reminds me, I agreed to go and see them next month, but I probably won't.
Thursday, 25 November 2004
"The Drum Tech Lost Them on the Tube."
There's a really good interview in The Guardian with The Beta Band.
He's a tit, he really, really is...
Loathe as I am to comment on this, I am finally fed up with this old firm shite that’s been flying around.
The SFA announced today that Bob Malcolm will be hauled in for making a gesture after we won a penalty last Saturday, on top of indulging Martin O’Neil’s pathetic and hypocritical claims of “racist and sectarian abuse” being directed at Neil Lennon.
No action is to be taken against Lennon of course, for spitting on a Rangers scarf and gesturing to the home supporters, or O’Neil for calling everyone who follows Rangers racist bigots. Or whoever it was who assaulted Peter Lovenkrands in the tunnel at half time.
O’Neil also remarked that Peter Lovenkrands should have a look at himself for diving to get Alan Thompson sent off, an interesting comment when you consider that’s not the line he took when his best bud Neil Lennon did the exact same thing to get Juanjo sent off earlier in the season.
Perplexed as I am that the authorities seem to want to indulge this hypocritical and childish conduct, it does please me in one way.
O’Neil commented after last nights draw with Barcelona that he “takes flack every day”. This is plainly not the case. O’Neil has been uniformly praised for his achievements with Celtic, for the most part quite rightly.
But on Saturday he watched his side throw away their dignity and quickly followed suit himself.
Celtic will be hard pushed to retain their championship this year. Without Larsson, I doubt they have the quality and it has become obvious they don’t have the bottle. It has also become clear that O’Neil himself, once touted to take over from Sir Alex at Manchester United barely has the balls to do the second biggest job in Scotland.
What doesn’t please me though is O’Neil calling me a racist bigot. That’s not funny and not appreciated by me or any other Rangers fan and he should be encouraged to shut his daft face and to remind himself that as Celtic manager, he has quite a stake in the bigotry business himself.
The SFA announced today that Bob Malcolm will be hauled in for making a gesture after we won a penalty last Saturday, on top of indulging Martin O’Neil’s pathetic and hypocritical claims of “racist and sectarian abuse” being directed at Neil Lennon.
No action is to be taken against Lennon of course, for spitting on a Rangers scarf and gesturing to the home supporters, or O’Neil for calling everyone who follows Rangers racist bigots. Or whoever it was who assaulted Peter Lovenkrands in the tunnel at half time.
O’Neil also remarked that Peter Lovenkrands should have a look at himself for diving to get Alan Thompson sent off, an interesting comment when you consider that’s not the line he took when his best bud Neil Lennon did the exact same thing to get Juanjo sent off earlier in the season.
Perplexed as I am that the authorities seem to want to indulge this hypocritical and childish conduct, it does please me in one way.
O’Neil commented after last nights draw with Barcelona that he “takes flack every day”. This is plainly not the case. O’Neil has been uniformly praised for his achievements with Celtic, for the most part quite rightly.
But on Saturday he watched his side throw away their dignity and quickly followed suit himself.
Celtic will be hard pushed to retain their championship this year. Without Larsson, I doubt they have the quality and it has become obvious they don’t have the bottle. It has also become clear that O’Neil himself, once touted to take over from Sir Alex at Manchester United barely has the balls to do the second biggest job in Scotland.
What doesn’t please me though is O’Neil calling me a racist bigot. That’s not funny and not appreciated by me or any other Rangers fan and he should be encouraged to shut his daft face and to remind himself that as Celtic manager, he has quite a stake in the bigotry business himself.
Tuesday, 23 November 2004
No Hugging No Learning
Seinfeld comes out on DVD in America today, so there's bound to be a lot about it in the American press. And this post bears this out, as it's a bit of a Seinfeld special. First, here's a pretty good article that lists ten of the best episodes. I wouldn't argue with any of them, though they may not be my 10 faves.
Of the episodes selected from the current DVD collection, I would say that The Pen, was the episode I was left with a new respect and appreciation for. It's just a brilliant example of how to write a sitcom and how Larry and Jerry adopted a fearless approach to their show.
Anyway, if you have all day to do nothing but read articles on Seinfeld.
USA Today
MSNBC
Ottawa Citizen
AOL Online (The Best Seinfeld Moments)
The Hollywood Reporter
Houston Chronicle
News Leader
Ottawa Business Journal
People
E Online
Of the episodes selected from the current DVD collection, I would say that The Pen, was the episode I was left with a new respect and appreciation for. It's just a brilliant example of how to write a sitcom and how Larry and Jerry adopted a fearless approach to their show.
Anyway, if you have all day to do nothing but read articles on Seinfeld.
USA Today
MSNBC
Ottawa Citizen
AOL Online (The Best Seinfeld Moments)
The Hollywood Reporter
Houston Chronicle
News Leader
Ottawa Business Journal
People
E Online
Monday, 22 November 2004
Fantasy Update
Another week in the Fantasy League then. Atop the table sits Fizz's Big Fanny Failures on 405 points. Samuel Eto'o chimed in with a goal for him in Barcelona's win over Real Madrid. Just two points behind is early pace setter Ronnie's von brauns. Ronnie suffered a blow in midweek with his striker Milan Baros picking up an injury that will sideline him for 4 weeks. So temporarily down to 9 men he picked up some points through his Middlesborough duo of Downing and Jimmy Floyd.
In third place is my own Serenity Now on 384. My Juventus defence duo were in cup action this weekend, so I had to look elsewhere for my big points. Eto'o and Klimowicz up front provided. Lokomotiv Sausages are another team to benefit from Samuel Eto'o's lovely finish into an empty net on Saturday night and on 350 points they sit in fourth. Atletico Madrid keeper Leo Franco and Cafu of Milan are his current two biggest scorers.
Karen's West Bam United on 330 also suffer from the loss of Baros, but Kevin Kuranyi hit a goal for Stuttgart, though Petr Cech in the Chelsea goal let her down a bit. Neltic FC are in 6th with 309. Muzzy Izzet? The now out of the game Finidi George? With 2 transfers remaining for the month this Keith's Work based supremo should be getting elbow deep into that transfer market.
Second from bottom come CSFPG FC yet to break the 300 barrier, stuck as they are, on 298. If it wasn't for Lampard and Ljungberg this side would be dead and buried. Nicola, move into the transfer market for goodness sake. Having said that she's only scored 1 point less than I have for the month, but the potential in the side is there, with a good few pounds and pence in the transfer kitty and 2 transfers sitting. Don't waste them like last month. Propping up the table is Keith's Do you smell gas? His boss Mourinho weighs in with 54 pts and his St James Park ground help him out with 42. Ledley King at the back and the surprise Gary Holt in the midfield chip in with 33 points apiece. Eto'o also bagged a goal for the gas boys, but there's just too many players not pulling their weight in this leaden side.
Based on this month's points only the league would look like this:
1. Big Fanny Failures 118
2. West Bam United 96
3. Lokomotiv Sausages 91
4. the von brauns 82
5. Serenity Now 72
6. CSFPG FC 71
7. Do you smell gas? 61
8. Neltic FC 56
Still a long way to go though.
In third place is my own Serenity Now on 384. My Juventus defence duo were in cup action this weekend, so I had to look elsewhere for my big points. Eto'o and Klimowicz up front provided. Lokomotiv Sausages are another team to benefit from Samuel Eto'o's lovely finish into an empty net on Saturday night and on 350 points they sit in fourth. Atletico Madrid keeper Leo Franco and Cafu of Milan are his current two biggest scorers.
Karen's West Bam United on 330 also suffer from the loss of Baros, but Kevin Kuranyi hit a goal for Stuttgart, though Petr Cech in the Chelsea goal let her down a bit. Neltic FC are in 6th with 309. Muzzy Izzet? The now out of the game Finidi George? With 2 transfers remaining for the month this Keith's Work based supremo should be getting elbow deep into that transfer market.
Second from bottom come CSFPG FC yet to break the 300 barrier, stuck as they are, on 298. If it wasn't for Lampard and Ljungberg this side would be dead and buried. Nicola, move into the transfer market for goodness sake. Having said that she's only scored 1 point less than I have for the month, but the potential in the side is there, with a good few pounds and pence in the transfer kitty and 2 transfers sitting. Don't waste them like last month. Propping up the table is Keith's Do you smell gas? His boss Mourinho weighs in with 54 pts and his St James Park ground help him out with 42. Ledley King at the back and the surprise Gary Holt in the midfield chip in with 33 points apiece. Eto'o also bagged a goal for the gas boys, but there's just too many players not pulling their weight in this leaden side.
Based on this month's points only the league would look like this:
1. Big Fanny Failures 118
2. West Bam United 96
3. Lokomotiv Sausages 91
4. the von brauns 82
5. Serenity Now 72
6. CSFPG FC 71
7. Do you smell gas? 61
8. Neltic FC 56
Still a long way to go though.
Ha Ha Hamilton
Last night we were both in Hamilton at Bar Strada for another gig. When I stepped out into the wind and rain, I did wonder 'what's the point?' and when we got to the gig, that was reinforced as even though we arrived about 8 there was only a handful of punters. However a few more folk arrived, though the two of us still thought it was going to descend into chaos as there appeared to be a bit of a drunken rabble going on.
It turned out though to be a really good gig. Although there were only about 20 folk in the crowd they gave us a good reception, I enjoyed my spot. My stuff went down well and although I could have performed better I was pretty happy with it. Fizz went on after me and he too went over well.
The evening was headlined by Vladimir McTavish, who was pretty funny and very complimentary of both of us.
The real star of the show though was Frankie, a guy who was asleep at the bar when the show started. Every act including myself indulged in some sort of banter with him.
It turned out though to be a really good gig. Although there were only about 20 folk in the crowd they gave us a good reception, I enjoyed my spot. My stuff went down well and although I could have performed better I was pretty happy with it. Fizz went on after me and he too went over well.
The evening was headlined by Vladimir McTavish, who was pretty funny and very complimentary of both of us.
The real star of the show though was Frankie, a guy who was asleep at the bar when the show started. Every act including myself indulged in some sort of banter with him.
Friday, 19 November 2004
Play With Rabbits
You may (or may not) remember Fizz's Alasdair - Awright Guy or Irritating Pipsqueak dilemma the other week. Well we've found out a couple of less than interesting things about him. First of all playing The Gotan Project, gets him positively incensed and second of all he has a mad website all of his own. Bless.
Thursday, 18 November 2004
You Owe Me Glue
Well, we've went with the title that we've had kicking about for ages.
Oozing like hilarious goo from the brains behind the infamous Cheery Bananas Magazine “You Owe Me Glue” is a collection of darkly tragic funnies written especially for the festival. Come see the only live sketch comedy show bold enough to say “Yo’mama” right to your stupid face.
You can keep tabs on our sure to be hilarious progress at the website.
Oozing like hilarious goo from the brains behind the infamous Cheery Bananas Magazine “You Owe Me Glue” is a collection of darkly tragic funnies written especially for the festival. Come see the only live sketch comedy show bold enough to say “Yo’mama” right to your stupid face.
You can keep tabs on our sure to be hilarious progress at the website.
"Women to Zak Were Like Scallops..."
Is anyone reading The Infiltrator? If so feel free to offer your opinions and suggestions for where it may go next to its author.
"If Only Smart People Like Your Shit, it Ain't That Smart"
Here's a great interview with Chris Rock by The Onion.
The Laughs Keep Comin'
First off thanks for all your suggestions for a name for our show. All zero of them. Actually, no, we did have one suggestion, but Fizzy and Tom's Laugh-In probably isn't going to cut it. So you have one day to stamp your name on comedy history, as we pretty much have to confirm the name by tonight.
Second of all the Tom and Fizz double act rolls on. Fraser 'You'll Never Get Me in Lanarkshire' Campbell has another gig lined up in Hamilton and you can come back to O'Neills on Saturday 4th December to see the pair of us again. We're both currently threatening to perform 'new material.'
Second of all the Tom and Fizz double act rolls on. Fraser 'You'll Never Get Me in Lanarkshire' Campbell has another gig lined up in Hamilton and you can come back to O'Neills on Saturday 4th December to see the pair of us again. We're both currently threatening to perform 'new material.'
Wednesday, 17 November 2004
If it Wisnae For Yer Wellies, Where Wid Ye Be?
As a follow up to Fizz's last post, I too read that Billy Connolly interview this morning. He's entitled to wish to be called whatever he wants, if he wishes to distance himself from guys like Dylan Moran, Ardal O'Hanlon or Bill Bailey then that's up to him. However portraying comedians who go out with written and re-written prepared material as a lesser art form only encourages the huge number of folk who step onto a stage and ramble for however long they're allowed, with no respect for their paying audience. The people who can do this to some success are few in number.
Let's just look back at The Big Yin's career a wee moment. Surely he's not attempting to convince us that he made The Crucifixion up on the spot, or The Jobbie Weecha? He's not saying that he went on to Parkinson that first time with no semblance of an act?
Woody Allen is rightfully acknowledged as one of the greatest stand-ups of all time. When he first went on stage he read his material out from sheets of paper. He soon learned that didn't work and memorised it all, but he wrote it, every word. As does Jerry Seinfeld, Steven Wright and many others. Even Bill Hicks, wrote and honed his stuff, even though he made it sound like it was all falling out his mouth for the first time. Of course he could if he wanted to speak off the top of his head, but it wasn't always guaranteed to be funny. Stanhope too, writes his material down and hones it as he goes. When we saw him at the Festival the reason he wasn't so funny on the night I was there was because he was constantly interrupted and had to devaite from his prepared stuff to deal with the fannies in the audience.
Perhaps the reason that Billy Connolly's not had a noteable and quotable piece of material for about 15 years is becAuse he knows he can get away with going on stage and talking about various subjects with not that much preparation. The suggestion that if you write stuff down beforehand makes you less of a comedian or less funny is a shabby argument. Sit through twenty minutes of 'So the war in Iraq then. If it's over someone forgot to tell the Iraqis. Someone heckle me...so anyway...' and see if you think that's funnier than watching Chris Rock or Denis Leary do prepared material.
Let's just look back at The Big Yin's career a wee moment. Surely he's not attempting to convince us that he made The Crucifixion up on the spot, or The Jobbie Weecha? He's not saying that he went on to Parkinson that first time with no semblance of an act?
Woody Allen is rightfully acknowledged as one of the greatest stand-ups of all time. When he first went on stage he read his material out from sheets of paper. He soon learned that didn't work and memorised it all, but he wrote it, every word. As does Jerry Seinfeld, Steven Wright and many others. Even Bill Hicks, wrote and honed his stuff, even though he made it sound like it was all falling out his mouth for the first time. Of course he could if he wanted to speak off the top of his head, but it wasn't always guaranteed to be funny. Stanhope too, writes his material down and hones it as he goes. When we saw him at the Festival the reason he wasn't so funny on the night I was there was because he was constantly interrupted and had to devaite from his prepared stuff to deal with the fannies in the audience.
Perhaps the reason that Billy Connolly's not had a noteable and quotable piece of material for about 15 years is becAuse he knows he can get away with going on stage and talking about various subjects with not that much preparation. The suggestion that if you write stuff down beforehand makes you less of a comedian or less funny is a shabby argument. Sit through twenty minutes of 'So the war in Iraq then. If it's over someone forgot to tell the Iraqis. Someone heckle me...so anyway...' and see if you think that's funnier than watching Chris Rock or Denis Leary do prepared material.
Standing Up
I’ve just been on the comedy site Chortle where Billy Connelly has been on slagging off “stand ups”, not viciously really but the implication is that if you are a natural patter merchant who does stuff off the cuff, it’s better for an audience than prepared material.
I can see his point.
There’s nothing like a Raymond Mearns or a Billy Connelly on top form, and the freshness in the way the stuff comes out is better than it is with prepared material, there is no barrier between performer and audience.
I’ve encountered this problem – occasionally people have interrupted my act, trying to join in and help really, and I’ve had to break the flow of what I was saying to respond.
Afterwards I’ve had to try to remember what it was I was saying. It breaks the flow, makes the act seem stilted and it does give the impression to an audience that I’m talking at them rather than to them.
So I take the point.
The only problem is it applies only to the guys who are good patter merchants. Unfortunately the comedy scene is cluttered with gibbering fannies who spend 10, 15 and even 20 minutes spouting utter pish.
Not naming any names, but I have worked with a few.
I would much rather watch someone with some well thought out, prepared material that some guy gibbering on about his holiday in Spain with his mates for ten minutes at the climax of which he fails to tell a joke.
I can’t ad lib, or don’t very well at least. So what’s wrong with putting a bit of work in?
And it is work. You write it, you change it, you learn it and you learn to perform it. It’s not a doddle. And all the best guys in my book do it that way. Maybe it’s a British thing. Most of the comedians I admire are American, Jerry Seinfeld, Chris Rock etc. Don’t tell me they don’t have prepared material.
I have been told by Raymond Mearns that I am “not a comedian”, although he did say he liked my stuff and Connelly is spot on when he says that most stand ups really want to be writers, not comedians. That’s certainly true for me.
But I don’t waste people’s time while I’m on stage talking a lot of unfunny pish and I don’t hassle folk in the audience with that “Where ye fae? Wishaw? Wishaw’s a hole, you must be a pure plum!” rubbish you get from so many of these so called patter merchants.
At the end of the day, if you can make a room full of people laugh, who cares how you do it?
I can see his point.
There’s nothing like a Raymond Mearns or a Billy Connelly on top form, and the freshness in the way the stuff comes out is better than it is with prepared material, there is no barrier between performer and audience.
I’ve encountered this problem – occasionally people have interrupted my act, trying to join in and help really, and I’ve had to break the flow of what I was saying to respond.
Afterwards I’ve had to try to remember what it was I was saying. It breaks the flow, makes the act seem stilted and it does give the impression to an audience that I’m talking at them rather than to them.
So I take the point.
The only problem is it applies only to the guys who are good patter merchants. Unfortunately the comedy scene is cluttered with gibbering fannies who spend 10, 15 and even 20 minutes spouting utter pish.
Not naming any names, but I have worked with a few.
I would much rather watch someone with some well thought out, prepared material that some guy gibbering on about his holiday in Spain with his mates for ten minutes at the climax of which he fails to tell a joke.
I can’t ad lib, or don’t very well at least. So what’s wrong with putting a bit of work in?
And it is work. You write it, you change it, you learn it and you learn to perform it. It’s not a doddle. And all the best guys in my book do it that way. Maybe it’s a British thing. Most of the comedians I admire are American, Jerry Seinfeld, Chris Rock etc. Don’t tell me they don’t have prepared material.
I have been told by Raymond Mearns that I am “not a comedian”, although he did say he liked my stuff and Connelly is spot on when he says that most stand ups really want to be writers, not comedians. That’s certainly true for me.
But I don’t waste people’s time while I’m on stage talking a lot of unfunny pish and I don’t hassle folk in the audience with that “Where ye fae? Wishaw? Wishaw’s a hole, you must be a pure plum!” rubbish you get from so many of these so called patter merchants.
At the end of the day, if you can make a room full of people laugh, who cares how you do it?
Name Our Show
Here's a challenge for any of our readers. We are staging a sketch show for the Glasgow International Comedy Festival next March. We need a name. We have a couple kicking around, but none that we're totally thrilled by. So suggest a name for the show. You want a prize but don't you? Well if we use your suggestion, how about we give you a free ticket to the show?
Tuesday, 16 November 2004
John Pinette
You know how we love anything Seinfeld related here, so I liked this feature. I enjoyed the irony at the end. Here is the big man's website.
The Hilarity Continues
My comedy comeback continued apace last night with a gig at The Stand in Edinburgh. This was much more like it for me as I went down really well and enjoyed it on stage. I even felt like I wanted to do more. I was on first, as I had predicted on my way there. Generally I quite like being on first, as for one thing if it goes well you can enjoy the rest of the night. Some of my jokes were slow burners, but everything got a laugh.
As for the rest of the evening, as these nights tend to be it was a bit of a mixed bag. My mate, the ever unpredictable, Tony was on. Mad dancing, a toy drum kit, a brilliant bit of improvisation with a lighter and a terrific closing line made him the best of the evening for me.
Other acts on the bill. The double act who spoke in faux American accents all night long absolutely done my head in backstage. An Australian guy who was flashed 12 times to finish up was probably the most excruciating part of the night.
It was the second time I've played the Edinburgh Stand and the second time I've went to The Basement for dinner beforehand. I dunno if I like the idea of forming some sort of pre-match ritual, but perhaps I have.
On this occasion my solitary supporter was Jo and lucky I took her as she offered a detailed critique, not so much of this performance but of gigs previous. This time I didn't do any of the things she said I had a bad habit of doing. Like swinging back and forward for example, I had no idea.
As for the secret details of forthcoming gigs, I am on in Hamilton next week and don't worry I don't expect anyone to come along to that one.
As for the rest of the evening, as these nights tend to be it was a bit of a mixed bag. My mate, the ever unpredictable, Tony was on. Mad dancing, a toy drum kit, a brilliant bit of improvisation with a lighter and a terrific closing line made him the best of the evening for me.
Other acts on the bill. The double act who spoke in faux American accents all night long absolutely done my head in backstage. An Australian guy who was flashed 12 times to finish up was probably the most excruciating part of the night.
It was the second time I've played the Edinburgh Stand and the second time I've went to The Basement for dinner beforehand. I dunno if I like the idea of forming some sort of pre-match ritual, but perhaps I have.
On this occasion my solitary supporter was Jo and lucky I took her as she offered a detailed critique, not so much of this performance but of gigs previous. This time I didn't do any of the things she said I had a bad habit of doing. Like swinging back and forward for example, I had no idea.
As for the secret details of forthcoming gigs, I am on in Hamilton next week and don't worry I don't expect anyone to come along to that one.
Monday, 15 November 2004
A Date With...Hilarity
Aye, well done us on our stand up comedy come back on Saturday night. Tom's first gig since may, my own first since January. I though we both did pretty well, even if I had a pretty nervy opening when my tried and tested "Crunchie" joke fell flat on it's tired old arse.
Good night all round really considering we lost our headliner, had someone turn up out of the blue and only secured a compere at about half eight that night. It was also great to see so many folk turning out to fake laugh at our stuff.
Tom is back with a few more dates in the next few weeks - see the big man for secret details.
Good night all round really considering we lost our headliner, had someone turn up out of the blue and only secured a compere at about half eight that night. It was also great to see so many folk turning out to fake laugh at our stuff.
Tom is back with a few more dates in the next few weeks - see the big man for secret details.
The Laughter Returns
As some of you will know, both Fizz and I made our stand-up comedy comebacks on Saturday night at O'Neills. Appearing on the bill together for the first time, we had the dual roles of performing and organising the gig. Without a compere until 8.30, when Simon McKinney was drafted in at short notice, we also had an unexpected arrival in Bill Bruce, who we managed to squeeze in as well. We also had our headline act Des Clarke replaced late on by Gary Little.
As for us two, Fizzy's nervously anticpated comeback went off with a bang. Despite the fact that he was confused as to when he was going on, he rose to his name being called with great aplomb. His stuff old and new went down a storm.
For my part I thought I performed poorly, although I did still get the laughs.
Cheers to those who turned up to support us, Ronnie & Claire, Iain, Grant, Tommy, Cathy, Johnny & Pauline, Jon, Gregor and Jason & Lindsay.
As for us two, Fizzy's nervously anticpated comeback went off with a bang. Despite the fact that he was confused as to when he was going on, he rose to his name being called with great aplomb. His stuff old and new went down a storm.
For my part I thought I performed poorly, although I did still get the laughs.
Cheers to those who turned up to support us, Ronnie & Claire, Iain, Grant, Tommy, Cathy, Johnny & Pauline, Jon, Gregor and Jason & Lindsay.
Sunday, 14 November 2004
Friday, 12 November 2004
Armando Iannucci Shows
I have just discovered that you can download some epsiodes of Armando Iannucci's mid 90s radio series. It's from a Lee & Herring fan site and I think the episodes relate to guest appearances Lee and Herring made on the show.
Fuck the Bus Company
When I purchased my weekly bus ticket this morning, the bus driver practically sat bolt upright in his seat, implored me not to put my tenner in the chamber but in his grubby paw. He then told me to keep the additional pound, advising me to "Fuck the bus company."
Obviously a man not shy of dipping the takings for himself. I wasn't sure how keen I was on this deal. I get my bus ticket with a quid off, but he pockets a tenspot. If I was offered that sort of deal beforehand I don't think I would have taken it. I end up with less than 10% of the scammed cash.
He printed me off a ticket in the normal fashion. I did wonder how his scam works, surely the tickets put through would have to relate with the money in his takings. Anyone any ideas?
Obviously a man not shy of dipping the takings for himself. I wasn't sure how keen I was on this deal. I get my bus ticket with a quid off, but he pockets a tenspot. If I was offered that sort of deal beforehand I don't think I would have taken it. I end up with less than 10% of the scammed cash.
He printed me off a ticket in the normal fashion. I did wonder how his scam works, surely the tickets put through would have to relate with the money in his takings. Anyone any ideas?
An All Day Session
Yesterday I went out on a day long drinking session with Jo and Moira. That said it wasn't booze the whole way. Having found half of Byres Road shut due to waterworks and renovations we finally ended in out of the rain in the new Bar Buddha in Creswell Lane for breakfast.
From there though we headed for the movies and saw (oh my good God) Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (1/5). It was much as I had anticipated and is indeed the first film all over again. My favourite bit though is when the Thai authorities allow Bridget to open the minds of the Thai women in prison with Men are from Mars Women are from Venus books, Galaxy chocolate and lingerie. Despite the fact that one of Britain's best comedy writers, Richard Curtis has had his hand in this, it smacks of the boring rubbish any day dreaming housewife could knock out in 90 minutes. Start with an insecure woman prone to jumping to conclusions, chuck in some daft fantasy about a dream wedding proposal, a few know-it-all friends, a cad and a (shock) happy ending and there you go Bridget Jones 3. As we left the cinema my sarcastic comments of "What an ending! That was like The Sixth Sense! What a twist. I'm floored," weren't welcome.
Back in the real world we spent most of the afternoon in The Universal on Sauchiehall Lane. We had our tea there and I was pleasantly surprised by how good their food was. In the evening we drank cocktails in Gong. The Tooty Fruity proved popular. When that shut we finished off in Oran Mor. I think we were all surprised we had lasted that sort of pace.
By the end of the night we had amused ourselves by playing games such as Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon and this easier version of the same game. Though Jo did comment several times, "Tom, I've never heard of any of those films."
I can't say I'm really looking forward to my return to the workforce next week.
From there though we headed for the movies and saw (oh my good God) Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (1/5). It was much as I had anticipated and is indeed the first film all over again. My favourite bit though is when the Thai authorities allow Bridget to open the minds of the Thai women in prison with Men are from Mars Women are from Venus books, Galaxy chocolate and lingerie. Despite the fact that one of Britain's best comedy writers, Richard Curtis has had his hand in this, it smacks of the boring rubbish any day dreaming housewife could knock out in 90 minutes. Start with an insecure woman prone to jumping to conclusions, chuck in some daft fantasy about a dream wedding proposal, a few know-it-all friends, a cad and a (shock) happy ending and there you go Bridget Jones 3. As we left the cinema my sarcastic comments of "What an ending! That was like The Sixth Sense! What a twist. I'm floored," weren't welcome.
Back in the real world we spent most of the afternoon in The Universal on Sauchiehall Lane. We had our tea there and I was pleasantly surprised by how good their food was. In the evening we drank cocktails in Gong. The Tooty Fruity proved popular. When that shut we finished off in Oran Mor. I think we were all surprised we had lasted that sort of pace.
By the end of the night we had amused ourselves by playing games such as Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon and this easier version of the same game. Though Jo did comment several times, "Tom, I've never heard of any of those films."
I can't say I'm really looking forward to my return to the workforce next week.
Wednesday, 10 November 2004
David Boring
Yesterday I bought and read, within about 90 minutes David Boring by Daniel Clowes. I don't read many graphic novels and I think this may be the first one I've bought. It was really good, if quite dark and seedy.
Hark The Closet Tory...
Well, it looks as if the Government is going to ban smoking in pubs and restaurants from 2006. For me, that means an end to enjoying the pub, in the same way as a ban on smoking in cinemas meant I pretty much stopped going to see movies.
I understand and totally sympathise with anyone who has genuine health concerns about smoking. I have no beef with not smoking at the movies, neither do I have a problem with not smoking while people are eating. But while having a drink? That’s like saying no sniffing glue while you spike up with heroin.
There is nothing to reconcile the hypocrisy of banning one damaging activity while one is in the act of committing another.
Besides, this is not the real issue here.
There is no more a case for banning smoking than there is for banning crisps or drinking alcohol, and that’s what this is really about. It’s about denying people a right they once took for granted. With this ban in place, what is there to stop health officials from banning fatty foods or alcohol, further eroding a person’s right to live as they choose?
What I really resent is the nanny attitude that still exists within the Labour movement, where you pay taxes and national insurance all your life and then get shit from NHS doctors and politicians if you take up any part of the Health Services precious budget because of your diet or lifestyle.
These people have to be reminded again and again that the system only exists because of the money that we break our arses for in our shitty jobs every week.
This attitude that working class people don’t have the wherewithal to look after themselves and must have legislation designed to help them live longer rammed down their throats is grossly insulting, and likely to be the tip of the ice berg.
Why do they want us to live longer anyway, you have to ask yourself? So we can work longer and keep their sorry little racket going, that is why.
Nanny knows best, and while these Labour doyens enjoy an excellent quality if life on our dollar, they’re not worried about any health problems they might face in the future. They’re all members of BUPA.
The hypocrisy and arrogance displayed in this upcoming legislation is incredible and begs the question: “What are they going to ban us from doing next?”
I understand and totally sympathise with anyone who has genuine health concerns about smoking. I have no beef with not smoking at the movies, neither do I have a problem with not smoking while people are eating. But while having a drink? That’s like saying no sniffing glue while you spike up with heroin.
There is nothing to reconcile the hypocrisy of banning one damaging activity while one is in the act of committing another.
Besides, this is not the real issue here.
There is no more a case for banning smoking than there is for banning crisps or drinking alcohol, and that’s what this is really about. It’s about denying people a right they once took for granted. With this ban in place, what is there to stop health officials from banning fatty foods or alcohol, further eroding a person’s right to live as they choose?
What I really resent is the nanny attitude that still exists within the Labour movement, where you pay taxes and national insurance all your life and then get shit from NHS doctors and politicians if you take up any part of the Health Services precious budget because of your diet or lifestyle.
These people have to be reminded again and again that the system only exists because of the money that we break our arses for in our shitty jobs every week.
This attitude that working class people don’t have the wherewithal to look after themselves and must have legislation designed to help them live longer rammed down their throats is grossly insulting, and likely to be the tip of the ice berg.
Why do they want us to live longer anyway, you have to ask yourself? So we can work longer and keep their sorry little racket going, that is why.
Nanny knows best, and while these Labour doyens enjoy an excellent quality if life on our dollar, they’re not worried about any health problems they might face in the future. They’re all members of BUPA.
The hypocrisy and arrogance displayed in this upcoming legislation is incredible and begs the question: “What are they going to ban us from doing next?”
Tuesday, 9 November 2004
Write up North
On Saturday I went up to Inverness, where Jennifer and I went to a playwriting workshop run by Liz Lochead. She was quite entertaining, although probably performed a wee bit too much and therefore there wasn't enough time for questions.
Jennifer also provided me with a brief local history lesson.
Jennifer also provided me with a brief local history lesson.
Monday, 8 November 2004
In Some Schools...
You must read this hilarious article with Big Ron Atkinson. His attempts to talk himself out of the whole racist thing had me laughing for ages. His forthcoming TV show on racism reminds me of that episode of Father Ted when Ted, having offended Craggy Island's Chinese community, organises a slide show to prove he's not racist and only proves that he is in fact an ignorant, big fool. That's pretty much what Ron succeeds in doing here.
All Change in the Fantasy League
A disastrous weekend for league pacesetters The Von Brauns and Serenity Now has seen November start with my own Big Fanny Failures replacing Ronnie at the top of the league with Tom pushed down into third.
While Failures managed an incredible 61 points this weekend thanks to my policy of spend and re-build, Ronnie and Tom pulled in 6 and 5 respectively, thanks in part to injuries, bookings and the sending off of Man U firebrand Alan Smith.
Not a man to stand for being let down in that manner, Tom has already replaced him in his team with Barca front man Samuel Eto’o, although too late to capitalise on his goal scoring performance this Saturday.
Ronnie has also made changes, looking to free up some cash for a third striker, bringing in Boro’s in form Stuart Downing, as good a cheap option as there is in the game perhaps. However, Ronnie will have been rocked by news that after just 13 games, the departure of Tottenham coach Jacques Santini has left him without vital managerial points for the rest of the season.
Further down the table, Neltic FC, West Bam Utd and Locomotiv Sausages have all pulled back to within genuine striking distance of the leaders. Particular credit must go to West Bam, who looked dead and buried just a few weeks ago.
Below the chasing pack are two teams in serious trouble. CSFPG FC’s dramatic slide down the table seems to be the only thing going for Keith’s “Do You Smell Gas?” with Nicola’s team in dire need of an overhaul.
So, an amazing weekend in the Iomartership, with the team who finished the first week bottom going top after some wise spending in the transfer market. Extra transfers are available on the website at £1.50 for two.
While Failures managed an incredible 61 points this weekend thanks to my policy of spend and re-build, Ronnie and Tom pulled in 6 and 5 respectively, thanks in part to injuries, bookings and the sending off of Man U firebrand Alan Smith.
Not a man to stand for being let down in that manner, Tom has already replaced him in his team with Barca front man Samuel Eto’o, although too late to capitalise on his goal scoring performance this Saturday.
Ronnie has also made changes, looking to free up some cash for a third striker, bringing in Boro’s in form Stuart Downing, as good a cheap option as there is in the game perhaps. However, Ronnie will have been rocked by news that after just 13 games, the departure of Tottenham coach Jacques Santini has left him without vital managerial points for the rest of the season.
Further down the table, Neltic FC, West Bam Utd and Locomotiv Sausages have all pulled back to within genuine striking distance of the leaders. Particular credit must go to West Bam, who looked dead and buried just a few weeks ago.
Below the chasing pack are two teams in serious trouble. CSFPG FC’s dramatic slide down the table seems to be the only thing going for Keith’s “Do You Smell Gas?” with Nicola’s team in dire need of an overhaul.
So, an amazing weekend in the Iomartership, with the team who finished the first week bottom going top after some wise spending in the transfer market. Extra transfers are available on the website at £1.50 for two.
Friday, 5 November 2004
Who Are The Digerati?
Cos we were pub quizzing last night we missed Ronnie's band rock out at Barfly. Anybody go? Anyone like to report on it?
Ron has just posted some photos on his site.
Ron has just posted some photos on his site.
Taking the Quiz
Last night at The Rock we helped Cathy with their pub quiz. We finished a commendable 5th out of 20. However we were lying in second place going into the final round, so it turned out to be a bit disappointing. We scored a perfect round on the Films section.
As I was going to the toilet the guy coming out pulled the door just as I was about to push, 'sorry,' he said, 'no bother,' said I. The notable thing about this encounter is that the guy in question was Colin McCredie, who punched Ewan McGregor in a toilet in Shallow Grave. Maybe he wouldn't have tried the same thing with me, but who was willing to risk it?
Does anyone know where Napoleon died? Fizz did, but sadly no one lsitened to him.
As I was going to the toilet the guy coming out pulled the door just as I was about to push, 'sorry,' he said, 'no bother,' said I. The notable thing about this encounter is that the guy in question was Colin McCredie, who punched Ewan McGregor in a toilet in Shallow Grave. Maybe he wouldn't have tried the same thing with me, but who was willing to risk it?
Does anyone know where Napoleon died? Fizz did, but sadly no one lsitened to him.
Wednesday, 3 November 2004
Poor Cathy
Cathy is still experiencing flatmate woes.
I got up this morning and there was a full A4 size note ranting that I had left the window unlocked in the lounge and how unimpressed she was by my window behaviour and what a mar it was upon our flat security. It was quite nasty actually. But the thing that really got me about the rant was she had forgotten to lock the front double door to the flat last night! Security my arse.
I wrote a very pleasant note back saying the last time I opened that window was 2 months ago so it has either been sitting unlocked since then or someone else did it. I also pointed out that I would rather my last few weeks in the house be pleasant and the tone of her note was in no way encouraging.
Needless to say she sent me a grovelling text saying sorry it must of been the girl who stayed on the weekends fault (you know the one that left early because **** is a psycho).
She's moving out tonight.
I got up this morning and there was a full A4 size note ranting that I had left the window unlocked in the lounge and how unimpressed she was by my window behaviour and what a mar it was upon our flat security. It was quite nasty actually. But the thing that really got me about the rant was she had forgotten to lock the front double door to the flat last night! Security my arse.
I wrote a very pleasant note back saying the last time I opened that window was 2 months ago so it has either been sitting unlocked since then or someone else did it. I also pointed out that I would rather my last few weeks in the house be pleasant and the tone of her note was in no way encouraging.
Needless to say she sent me a grovelling text saying sorry it must of been the girl who stayed on the weekends fault (you know the one that left early because **** is a psycho).
She's moving out tonight.
?
Why the fuck is this considered news? Is every fucker just phoning it in now? Last week The Sunaday Mail thought that the biggest story in the world that day was that the latest lottery winner is a shiftless bevy merchant. Can anybody explain to me why people get into journalism nowadays? Surely it's not to report on what some daft bint watches on the telly or interview some jakey who's hit it lucky?
Bullet In The Head
So, the BNP have managed to get Jeremy Hardy banned from performing in Burnley for suggesting that the world would be better off if the BNP and its supporters were “shot in the back of the head”.
They claim “thousands” of their supporters would have been offended by his remarks.
Awwww, poor wittle Nazis. Did big bad, Jeremy Weremy make woo cwy?
I’m sure the oft cardiganed japester isn’t all that bothered as Burnely is a fucking toilet, but where do these malodorous clods get off complaining about being offended by Hardy’s comments?
We tolerate these wannabe ethnic cleansers and allow them freedom of speech because to curtail their rights would affect us all. No one gives a fuck about what offends you, you cunts. Your very existence is an affront to human decency. We put up with you, not the other way round.
Oh and by the way, half a dozen overweight dribblers who couldn’t get a ride at the fucking shows fisting each other off in a basement over a can of warm strongbow isn’t “thousands” of people.
Being shot in the back of the head is the very least the BNP and those who vote for them deserve.
They claim “thousands” of their supporters would have been offended by his remarks.
Awwww, poor wittle Nazis. Did big bad, Jeremy Weremy make woo cwy?
I’m sure the oft cardiganed japester isn’t all that bothered as Burnely is a fucking toilet, but where do these malodorous clods get off complaining about being offended by Hardy’s comments?
We tolerate these wannabe ethnic cleansers and allow them freedom of speech because to curtail their rights would affect us all. No one gives a fuck about what offends you, you cunts. Your very existence is an affront to human decency. We put up with you, not the other way round.
Oh and by the way, half a dozen overweight dribblers who couldn’t get a ride at the fucking shows fisting each other off in a basement over a can of warm strongbow isn’t “thousands” of people.
Being shot in the back of the head is the very least the BNP and those who vote for them deserve.
"When Will People Learn? Democracy Doesn't Work!"
So, it looks like the worlds "greatest" democracy has decided on another four years of illiterate warmongering.
Despite it becoming common knowledge that Bush has consistently lied to America about the threat of terrorism and has managed to embroil his nation (and ours) in an idiotic, unwinnable war, Americans have turned out in their droves to endorse interventionism, black propaganda and wholesale death.
To me, America has now become a joke nation. They have voted for an idiot one too many times.
America has now become so addled by the lies and the battering Bush and his ulta conservative cronies have dished them out that the nation seems to have behaved exactly like the the kind of daft bint you see all the time on "Trisha".
Sporting two black eyes and confronted by her man's illegitimate love chidren by her kid sister, Trisha advises her guest to show some respect for herself and leave.
"But I love him" she replies.
America has come down with a bad case of Helsinki Syndrome, swooning over a gang of thugs who are holding their country hostage.
It would appear that what Bush has managed to achieve in this election is a remarkable 4 million vote swing in his favour, thanks in part to tacked on anti-gay and abortion amendments but assisted not least by Bin Laden sticking his head above the parapet last week.
It seems it "reminded" Americans that the so- called terrorist threat still exists, even if all it actually proved was that Bin Laden is still alive and has access to a video camera.
Of course, Bin Laden will be jumping for joy at the result. The Joker cannot exist without Batman.
Despite it becoming common knowledge that Bush has consistently lied to America about the threat of terrorism and has managed to embroil his nation (and ours) in an idiotic, unwinnable war, Americans have turned out in their droves to endorse interventionism, black propaganda and wholesale death.
To me, America has now become a joke nation. They have voted for an idiot one too many times.
America has now become so addled by the lies and the battering Bush and his ulta conservative cronies have dished them out that the nation seems to have behaved exactly like the the kind of daft bint you see all the time on "Trisha".
Sporting two black eyes and confronted by her man's illegitimate love chidren by her kid sister, Trisha advises her guest to show some respect for herself and leave.
"But I love him" she replies.
America has come down with a bad case of Helsinki Syndrome, swooning over a gang of thugs who are holding their country hostage.
It would appear that what Bush has managed to achieve in this election is a remarkable 4 million vote swing in his favour, thanks in part to tacked on anti-gay and abortion amendments but assisted not least by Bin Laden sticking his head above the parapet last week.
It seems it "reminded" Americans that the so- called terrorist threat still exists, even if all it actually proved was that Bin Laden is still alive and has access to a video camera.
Of course, Bin Laden will be jumping for joy at the result. The Joker cannot exist without Batman.
Tuesday, 2 November 2004
It's Indecision 2004
I guess I'll stay up late tonight to see how America dithers over their next President. I have the feeling that Bush will get in again. I'll be tuned to the BBC and CNN...for a bit anyway.
Even More on Our Show
The lovely Sara has written a little bit about Saturday's show as well. And very nice words they are too.
The Infiltrator
The first two chapters of The Infiltrator are up. Click the permanent link on the left hand side links bar.
The Seinfeld DVD Marathon
Fizz and I both snapped up the Seinfeld 3 season box set last night. At 50 quid a throw we're quite happy that it's a bargain. Packed with extras, last night I crammed in the alternative version of the pilot along with episodes 2 & 3 and the Inside Look features for all 3 episodes.
My favourite stuff was the Tonight Show appearances including Jerry's very first spot on the Johnny Carson Tonight Show from 1981. Weird, how young and orange he looks. And not as funny. Though still made me laugh. I then settled down to the hour long documentary of how it all began. Great stuff, I only have 37 episodes and 24 hours of extras to get through now.
My favourite stuff was the Tonight Show appearances including Jerry's very first spot on the Johnny Carson Tonight Show from 1981. Weird, how young and orange he looks. And not as funny. Though still made me laugh. I then settled down to the hour long documentary of how it all began. Great stuff, I only have 37 episodes and 24 hours of extras to get through now.
Fizz on the Telly Again
The big man has just revealed that he's back on the box. He's been head hunted by SMG to provide Rangers TV with his Greatest Ever Rangers Eleven. He goes into the studio on Sunday morning. Naturally surrounded as he is by Celtic fans and me, a non-Rangers supporter he's had suggestions such as Mel Sterland, Colin West, Avi Cohen, Gordon Ramsey, Terry Hurlock, Stephane Guivarc'h, Dale Gordon, Marcus Gale, Peter Van Vossen...
Mutu Ado About Nothing
So, where are we all on the Mutu affair? For anyone who is interested, a 25 year old footballer who admitted taking recreational drugs has been sacked by his club (big spending Chelsea) and is probably going to be sued by them for loss of a potential transfer fee.
Why didn’t they support him? When Arsenal supported the oft steaming/drunk driving Tony Adams a few years back, they were rewarded with the backbone of a double winning side, the player was allowed to wrest back his dignity and good name from the jaws of ignominy and Adams has now gone on to become a respected figure in the game. Adams now runs an addiction charity for addict sports stars and must be up in arms about the way Mutu is being treated.
Lets get the first thing right, he never tried to cheat at football. He took drugs like millions of people his age do as part of his recreational life.
The follow up point a lot of people have been making to this has been that as a footballer, he is a role model to children and therefore should exhibit only completely above board, exemplary behavior.
What a crock of hypocritical shite that is. As adults, we should all be examples to children and we certainly shouldn’t be foisting the job off on a group of entertainers. This blanket, knee jerk bullshit about drugs has to stop, it’s fucking ridiculous. Practically everyone does drugs if you count alcohol and why shouldn’t you count alcohol? It’s a drug. To hear someone like Chick Young, a guy who wallows in his reputation as “a bit of a lad” (a bit of a fucking tit more like) slam Mutu makes me sick to my stomach.
We are now in a ridiculous situation with drugs. It’s the same kind of blanket “well, thems the rules” crap you get regarding porn, where people caught downloading it are instantly sacked by other people who dishonestly pretend they have never looked at pictures of people fucking in their lives.
Everyone knows that everyone else is on something – the trick is not to get caught or at least not to get in trouble with it. This means that a drunk or a drug user who has become adept at hiding their problem gets deeper and deeper into the hole, often endangering their co-workers in the process while those who are caught and forced to confront their addictions are denied help exactly when they need it the most.
And my other point? Doing a few lines of coke ain’t the worst thing you can do in life. It should not be treated as such and getting into trouble with drugs shouldn’t cost you your livelihood. As I’ve said before, until we get past the hypocrisy of condemning people whose only crime has been to get caught doing something we all do we will never tackle the genuine problems drugs cause, either in sport or more importantly among people in general.
Why didn’t they support him? When Arsenal supported the oft steaming/drunk driving Tony Adams a few years back, they were rewarded with the backbone of a double winning side, the player was allowed to wrest back his dignity and good name from the jaws of ignominy and Adams has now gone on to become a respected figure in the game. Adams now runs an addiction charity for addict sports stars and must be up in arms about the way Mutu is being treated.
Lets get the first thing right, he never tried to cheat at football. He took drugs like millions of people his age do as part of his recreational life.
The follow up point a lot of people have been making to this has been that as a footballer, he is a role model to children and therefore should exhibit only completely above board, exemplary behavior.
What a crock of hypocritical shite that is. As adults, we should all be examples to children and we certainly shouldn’t be foisting the job off on a group of entertainers. This blanket, knee jerk bullshit about drugs has to stop, it’s fucking ridiculous. Practically everyone does drugs if you count alcohol and why shouldn’t you count alcohol? It’s a drug. To hear someone like Chick Young, a guy who wallows in his reputation as “a bit of a lad” (a bit of a fucking tit more like) slam Mutu makes me sick to my stomach.
We are now in a ridiculous situation with drugs. It’s the same kind of blanket “well, thems the rules” crap you get regarding porn, where people caught downloading it are instantly sacked by other people who dishonestly pretend they have never looked at pictures of people fucking in their lives.
Everyone knows that everyone else is on something – the trick is not to get caught or at least not to get in trouble with it. This means that a drunk or a drug user who has become adept at hiding their problem gets deeper and deeper into the hole, often endangering their co-workers in the process while those who are caught and forced to confront their addictions are denied help exactly when they need it the most.
And my other point? Doing a few lines of coke ain’t the worst thing you can do in life. It should not be treated as such and getting into trouble with drugs shouldn’t cost you your livelihood. As I’ve said before, until we get past the hypocrisy of condemning people whose only crime has been to get caught doing something we all do we will never tackle the genuine problems drugs cause, either in sport or more importantly among people in general.
Monday, 1 November 2004
"This Film Comes out of my Own DNA."
Have a look at this great article on David O. Russell and his new film I Heart Huckabees.
Some More on the Show
Further to my previous post on our show, there's a little bit about us here.
It's also been proposed that a CD of the night will be released shortly. It should retail for about ten pounds with the profits going to Gartnavel Hospital.
It's also been proposed that a CD of the night will be released shortly. It should retail for about ten pounds with the profits going to Gartnavel Hospital.
Praise Be To Tom
Well done to Tom for doing a lovely job of producing his friend Gail's memorial night. Really well directed by Tom's pal Claire as well; she managed to do a lot with a tough assignment.
All aspects of the show were handled admirably and the big man deserved his high praise from TV's sexy house doctor Anna Ryder Richardson.
After his enjoyable brush with Nigella Lawson earlier in the week, I'm now expecting him to be singled out for praise on his web design skills by Cameron Diaz any day now.
All aspects of the show were handled admirably and the big man deserved his high praise from TV's sexy house doctor Anna Ryder Richardson.
After his enjoyable brush with Nigella Lawson earlier in the week, I'm now expecting him to be singled out for praise on his web design skills by Cameron Diaz any day now.
Save Our Cathy
Our pal Cathy has just sent me a sad yet hilarious e-mail that I should just share.
My flatmate **** has steadily been going mad. She has been drinking a botle and a half of wine by herself every night and is pretty much constantly drunk.
I came home from work on Friday to find she had thrown up in the bath tub and left it there. I can understand when your sick it is hard to clean up but she somehow had the energy to paint a crazy design on the bathroom wall with some dodgy green paint. She then came out of her bedroom and said she has been diagnosed with a heart murmur and she is going to have a heart attack. She also said she had been feeling ill so she drank all my beer.
She had a friend stay on the weekend and I felt very sorry for her as **** was supposed to pick her up at the airport, instead when we arrived home on Firday she was sitting out the front of the flat drunk. The house was totally trashed on Saturday night.
Poor Cathy. The bad news for me and Fizz is that the lady in question is a producer who we were getting ready to meet with, to pitch her ideas, though it sounds like all we have to do is bring 2 bottles of wine pitch our new sitcom 'Flatmates Going Mad!' and the contract is signed.
My flatmate **** has steadily been going mad. She has been drinking a botle and a half of wine by herself every night and is pretty much constantly drunk.
I came home from work on Friday to find she had thrown up in the bath tub and left it there. I can understand when your sick it is hard to clean up but she somehow had the energy to paint a crazy design on the bathroom wall with some dodgy green paint. She then came out of her bedroom and said she has been diagnosed with a heart murmur and she is going to have a heart attack. She also said she had been feeling ill so she drank all my beer.
She had a friend stay on the weekend and I felt very sorry for her as **** was supposed to pick her up at the airport, instead when we arrived home on Firday she was sitting out the front of the flat drunk. The house was totally trashed on Saturday night.
Poor Cathy. The bad news for me and Fizz is that the lady in question is a producer who we were getting ready to meet with, to pitch her ideas, though it sounds like all we have to do is bring 2 bottles of wine pitch our new sitcom 'Flatmates Going Mad!' and the contract is signed.
Yes, Soup For You!
Being off work there was one thing I missed and that was my daily visit to the Kelvin Cafe. Fizy swears by their soups and I have just finished an outstanding large cup of Smoked Salmon, Tomato and Basil. The soups there are so good I reckon she could easily compete with Seinfeld nemesis The Soup Nazi.
Count Me In I Suppose...
Well, thanks to Tom's encouragement I'm ready to add to the list of projects I'll start but probably never finish.
You may read the adventures of our hero The Infiltrator, the Scientist/Occult Detective who is part Shaft, part Albert Schweitzer and all man here.
You may read the adventures of our hero The Infiltrator, the Scientist/Occult Detective who is part Shaft, part Albert Schweitzer and all man here.
It's Out!
You must all know by now that Seinfeld is out today on DVD. Fizzy and I are leaving work early in order to snap up all 3 seasons. Of the extras I'm looking forward to the hour long documentary and 'Master of His Domain' unused stand-up from Jerry.
Here's an article on it from yesterday's Observer.
Here's an article on it from yesterday's Observer.
The Iomartership Update
We've not had a run-down of our Fantasy League for a while. So here's one now.
Ronnie's Von Brauns are still out in front, with 321 points. Despite being only a ten man side his lead shows no signs of slipping. Milan Baros and Jimmy Floyd up front are really producing the goods and at the back John Terry and Ledley King are keeping things solid.
I'm in second place a mere 9 points behind with Serenity Now. My Juventus pairing of Thuram and Cannavaro are putting together a great scoring run with 50 and 54 points respectively from only 9 games. I think I'll be making a move in November's transfer window though, as I try to find a third defender with that sort of form.
In third place is Fizzy's Big Fanny Failures 25 points further back on 287. He will have to make a move in the transfer market as Liverpool's Djibril Cisse has been ruled out for the season after a nasty leg break at the weekend. A huge blow for the mercurial Southside gaffer as Cisse is his biggest points scorer.
In fourth on 259 is Dave's Lokomotiv Sausages. Okocha and Ferguson in his midfield deliver, while his new strike partnership of Reyes and Berbatov are taking a little time to get going.
Fifth place belongs to Neltic FC bossed by 'A guy at Keith's work.' He will also suffer from the loss of Cisse, though he has decent returns from Mellberg at Aston Villa and Scotland's only Nigel, Portsmouth midfielder Quashie.
Making a spirited fightback to climb up the table into 6th spot on 234 is Karen's West Bam United. An inspired move to drop Fulham's van der Sar and bring in Chelsea's Petr Cech has saw her turn minus 7 into 37 valuable points. Milan Baros is her next biggest scorer on 33. The third highest points scorer this month I think Karen will climb higher.
Second from bottom comes Nicola's CSFPG FC. This girl has been neglecting her side. Lampard and Ljungberg are still holding it together, however a minus 5 for Diarra in defence and poor showings from Lloyd Dyer (9), Koumas (9), McManaman (6) and Ameobi (7) have seen her early promise become relegation fodder. Someone needs to move into the transfer market.
Propping up the table on 198 is Keith's Do You Smell Gas? Well we smell something. His highest points scorer is his boss Mourinhio with 42. He also has to replace Cisse.
So there you have it, still going to be tough to overhaul Ronnie, but the league is shaping up into an interesting contest.
Ronnie's Von Brauns are still out in front, with 321 points. Despite being only a ten man side his lead shows no signs of slipping. Milan Baros and Jimmy Floyd up front are really producing the goods and at the back John Terry and Ledley King are keeping things solid.
I'm in second place a mere 9 points behind with Serenity Now. My Juventus pairing of Thuram and Cannavaro are putting together a great scoring run with 50 and 54 points respectively from only 9 games. I think I'll be making a move in November's transfer window though, as I try to find a third defender with that sort of form.
In third place is Fizzy's Big Fanny Failures 25 points further back on 287. He will have to make a move in the transfer market as Liverpool's Djibril Cisse has been ruled out for the season after a nasty leg break at the weekend. A huge blow for the mercurial Southside gaffer as Cisse is his biggest points scorer.
In fourth on 259 is Dave's Lokomotiv Sausages. Okocha and Ferguson in his midfield deliver, while his new strike partnership of Reyes and Berbatov are taking a little time to get going.
Fifth place belongs to Neltic FC bossed by 'A guy at Keith's work.' He will also suffer from the loss of Cisse, though he has decent returns from Mellberg at Aston Villa and Scotland's only Nigel, Portsmouth midfielder Quashie.
Making a spirited fightback to climb up the table into 6th spot on 234 is Karen's West Bam United. An inspired move to drop Fulham's van der Sar and bring in Chelsea's Petr Cech has saw her turn minus 7 into 37 valuable points. Milan Baros is her next biggest scorer on 33. The third highest points scorer this month I think Karen will climb higher.
Second from bottom comes Nicola's CSFPG FC. This girl has been neglecting her side. Lampard and Ljungberg are still holding it together, however a minus 5 for Diarra in defence and poor showings from Lloyd Dyer (9), Koumas (9), McManaman (6) and Ameobi (7) have seen her early promise become relegation fodder. Someone needs to move into the transfer market.
Propping up the table on 198 is Keith's Do You Smell Gas? Well we smell something. His highest points scorer is his boss Mourinhio with 42. He also has to replace Cisse.
So there you have it, still going to be tough to overhaul Ronnie, but the league is shaping up into an interesting contest.
Sunday, 31 October 2004
Show Enjoyed by All
Our show on Saturday went off without any hitches and to my immense relief was a considerable success. It looked and felt every inch a professional production, and indeed it was. We had not one weak link in our chain of actors, singers, musicians, dancers, sound and lighting men or recording crew.
I don't think I'm overstating to say that the performances and Clare's direction was first class. I really enjoyed performing in it.
Although the main thing was that Gail's family enjoyed it, which they did, I think my reward was Anna Ryder Richardson telling me that I was great. First Nigella and now Anna, quite a week for fit women I like from the telly.
I do have photographs of the rehearsals and after the show, but stupidly (drunkenly) left my camera behind at the fancy dress party I attended afterwards. Never mind I'll get it back soon enough.
If you're reading this and saw the show, or hey, if you were in it. Your comments will be welcome.
I don't think I'm overstating to say that the performances and Clare's direction was first class. I really enjoyed performing in it.
Although the main thing was that Gail's family enjoyed it, which they did, I think my reward was Anna Ryder Richardson telling me that I was great. First Nigella and now Anna, quite a week for fit women I like from the telly.
I do have photographs of the rehearsals and after the show, but stupidly (drunkenly) left my camera behind at the fancy dress party I attended afterwards. Never mind I'll get it back soon enough.
If you're reading this and saw the show, or hey, if you were in it. Your comments will be welcome.
My Book
If you didn't know can I tell you that it is National Novel Writing Month. Though I think it's an American site so technically it's probably International Novel Writing Month.
The idea is to write a 50,000 word novel in 30 days, from 1st November until midnight on 30th November. Blogger are promoting it and encourage entrants to set up a blog for their novel. This is their novel blogs site.
My blog is here.
At the moment I've little idea what I'm going to write about, but I'll give it a go anyway. Hey it gives us all another five minutes away from our real jobs eh? Why don't you give it a go yourself?
I've also encouraged Fizz to get in on the action. I think this sounds like the perfect home for his proposed 'The Infiltrator' novel.
The idea is to write a 50,000 word novel in 30 days, from 1st November until midnight on 30th November. Blogger are promoting it and encourage entrants to set up a blog for their novel. This is their novel blogs site.
My blog is here.
At the moment I've little idea what I'm going to write about, but I'll give it a go anyway. Hey it gives us all another five minutes away from our real jobs eh? Why don't you give it a go yourself?
I've also encouraged Fizz to get in on the action. I think this sounds like the perfect home for his proposed 'The Infiltrator' novel.
Thursday, 28 October 2004
No Feet up for Me
Although I've been off work, I've still been busy. Some of you may know that I'm producing a show that goes ahead this Saturday.
The show, A Slightly Lugubrious Bluebird of Happiness, is in tribute to my pal Gail, who died last month. I have kind of enjoyed organising it, even though it's a little bit stressful. I have of course ran into the various problems that crop up in this type of business.
Like having to go to the post office and hand over hard cash because my artist neglected to put any stamps on the poster he had sent. Then to open it up and discover that the Peter Saville to my Tony Wilson, had invented a new surname for Gail. Then followed a flurry of texts and e-mails in order to have the problem resolved. I spent an afternoon in the copyshop today, listening to the woman going 'pheeew, this is going to cost ya.'
I also appear to have been let down by a guy at the Metro, who came to me, suggesting that he put a piece in the paper about it. "It's no problem. It'll be in." A piece that has yet to materialise. That's fucking media folk for you.
Other than that, the only main problems involve booking rehearsal space and ensuring that people turn up. So far I haven't had an entire cast, and I don't think I will until about 3 hours before showtime.
I've found little time to actually learn the poems I have to perform on Saturday night.
Fingers crossed it'll all go well and I'll try to provide a review and photographs on Monday.
The show, A Slightly Lugubrious Bluebird of Happiness, is in tribute to my pal Gail, who died last month. I have kind of enjoyed organising it, even though it's a little bit stressful. I have of course ran into the various problems that crop up in this type of business.
Like having to go to the post office and hand over hard cash because my artist neglected to put any stamps on the poster he had sent. Then to open it up and discover that the Peter Saville to my Tony Wilson, had invented a new surname for Gail. Then followed a flurry of texts and e-mails in order to have the problem resolved. I spent an afternoon in the copyshop today, listening to the woman going 'pheeew, this is going to cost ya.'
I also appear to have been let down by a guy at the Metro, who came to me, suggesting that he put a piece in the paper about it. "It's no problem. It'll be in." A piece that has yet to materialise. That's fucking media folk for you.
Other than that, the only main problems involve booking rehearsal space and ensuring that people turn up. So far I haven't had an entire cast, and I don't think I will until about 3 hours before showtime.
I've found little time to actually learn the poems I have to perform on Saturday night.
Fingers crossed it'll all go well and I'll try to provide a review and photographs on Monday.
Some Comments
Fizz has been busy with the posts I see, while I've been off. I'll just comment on a few of them.
John Peel
I was gutted to hear that he had died (I heard incidentally by reading Fizz's post). It's still kind of hard to take in. He wasn't someone I listened to an awful lot, but I always enjoyed him when I did. I remember last year, living in student accomodation, with only a radio for company and listening to him. I mind he played The Marxist Brothers, what a great name for a band I thought. Beaten only by one of the last bands to be championed by him Steveless. So named because no one called Steve is in the band.
For me, the reason that John Peel enjoyed such longevity as a relevant broadcaster was because he realised that the music was the star of the show, whereas a lot of other DJs harboured under the misapprehension that they were. John Peel was as much an influence on British music as The Smiths, New Order or any other band he played.
Alasdair
A harmless wee guy, who sometimes doesn't know what he says can be heard by more than just him. And doesn't realise when he's on Britney Spears messageboards, people can see over his shoulder. I'm in the 'good guy' camp on young Al.
The Nearly Men of Writing
Yes, I'd like to get a firm answer as well instead of opening e-mails titled 'Commission,' only to find that a commission is still a way off, though nearer all the time. For anyone interested it's Radio Scotland with the pen quavering over the dotted line.
John Peel
I was gutted to hear that he had died (I heard incidentally by reading Fizz's post). It's still kind of hard to take in. He wasn't someone I listened to an awful lot, but I always enjoyed him when I did. I remember last year, living in student accomodation, with only a radio for company and listening to him. I mind he played The Marxist Brothers, what a great name for a band I thought. Beaten only by one of the last bands to be championed by him Steveless. So named because no one called Steve is in the band.
For me, the reason that John Peel enjoyed such longevity as a relevant broadcaster was because he realised that the music was the star of the show, whereas a lot of other DJs harboured under the misapprehension that they were. John Peel was as much an influence on British music as The Smiths, New Order or any other band he played.
Alasdair
A harmless wee guy, who sometimes doesn't know what he says can be heard by more than just him. And doesn't realise when he's on Britney Spears messageboards, people can see over his shoulder. I'm in the 'good guy' camp on young Al.
The Nearly Men of Writing
Yes, I'd like to get a firm answer as well instead of opening e-mails titled 'Commission,' only to find that a commission is still a way off, though nearer all the time. For anyone interested it's Radio Scotland with the pen quavering over the dotted line.
The Lovely Nigella
Yes,as Fizz has already commented Ronnie and I went to see Nigella this lunchtime. We stood in a huge queue, mainly consisting of middle class folk who like to cook Cul-de-Sac of Chicken with roasted parsnip and lazy mash. So us two giggling schoolboys stood out a bit.
It's amzing how good a smile from a stunning looking classy, posh lass, you have no right to be near can make you feel. And what a corking picture she posed for. Every bit a class act she told Ronnie she'd do another one in case she moved in the first picture. She's so lovely you completely forget that she came from this.
You’re a Pro Writer! Nearly…
Dabbling as we do in the old writing, Tom and I would love nothing more than that first professional writing gig we can put on our CV and use to get more work.
We’ve had one particular project in the pipeline for almost a year now and, after last night, have been told three times by the producer that is has been commissioned, nearly.
While it does look likely that it’ll go ahead and launch the flesh avalanche of comedy talent that is Fizzy and Tom on an unsuspecting world, it would be great if a certain someone didn’t call again until the deal was done.
The situation sort of reminds me of the running joke in “The Man With Two Brains”, wherein Kathleen Turner keeps telling Steve Martin she’s dying to have sex with him but can’t for a range of increasingly absurd reasons.
Will it all pan out and go right for the lads? We’ll keep you posted…
We’ve had one particular project in the pipeline for almost a year now and, after last night, have been told three times by the producer that is has been commissioned, nearly.
While it does look likely that it’ll go ahead and launch the flesh avalanche of comedy talent that is Fizzy and Tom on an unsuspecting world, it would be great if a certain someone didn’t call again until the deal was done.
The situation sort of reminds me of the running joke in “The Man With Two Brains”, wherein Kathleen Turner keeps telling Steve Martin she’s dying to have sex with him but can’t for a range of increasingly absurd reasons.
Will it all pan out and go right for the lads? We’ll keep you posted…
Dirty Feckers
Tom and Ronnie have taken some time out today to go to a book signing featuring domestic (and every other kind of ) Goddess Nigela Lawson.
A huge fan of sexy women who lick their fingers a lot while cooking, I am of course green with envy.
Tom has already managed to send me a gloating text telling me:
“What a lovely big ride she is up close.”
I don’t doubt it. Ronnie has photos, which I am looking forward to getting a gander at, purely from an academic standpoint of course…
A huge fan of sexy women who lick their fingers a lot while cooking, I am of course green with envy.
Tom has already managed to send me a gloating text telling me:
“What a lovely big ride she is up close.”
I don’t doubt it. Ronnie has photos, which I am looking forward to getting a gander at, purely from an academic standpoint of course…
Alisdair – Awright Guy or Irritating Pipsqueak?
It may be because I’m in a particularly bad mood today (the wean had us up all night) but the guy who sits to the right of me in work, Alisdair, almost got a pen through his eyeball this morning when he outdid his usual talent for uttering the inane by saying this:
“I had a dream last night that I was having trouble sleeping”
He wasn’t even joking.
Letting Your Guts Rumble
Here is a snippet from this morning's Metro Mail Page:
"I think Allan of Edinburgh is missing the point. Although speeding may be a crime, the police should be concentrating on more important crime. I'm sure he would rather they catch rapists, murderers etc than someone doing a couple of MPH over a speed limit. My family are much more important to me than that."
Jackie, Edinburgh
What a fucking moron.
Why is it the only people who feel moved to write in to newspapers are complete clowns who wouldn't know a logical argument if it talked them out of their chips?
For a start you daft bastard/cow, your own kids are far more likely to be killed by you, "a couple of MPH over a speed limit" than by some bogey man hiding behind a dark corner.
You are also a significant danger to my child, not only because of your implict disregard for speeding laws, but because you are obviously a cretin with nary the mental capacity of a chicken. The simple fact that you exist makes the world a less safe place.
People have to get it into their heads that there aren't killers and rapists around every corner and that the police don't target speeders for a daft laugh. They kill people, a good number of people, every year.
People want to turn the fucking tele off for a second and try living their lives outwith the grip of the insane panic about fuck all so many seem enveloped in.
"I think Allan of Edinburgh is missing the point. Although speeding may be a crime, the police should be concentrating on more important crime. I'm sure he would rather they catch rapists, murderers etc than someone doing a couple of MPH over a speed limit. My family are much more important to me than that."
Jackie, Edinburgh
What a fucking moron.
Why is it the only people who feel moved to write in to newspapers are complete clowns who wouldn't know a logical argument if it talked them out of their chips?
For a start you daft bastard/cow, your own kids are far more likely to be killed by you, "a couple of MPH over a speed limit" than by some bogey man hiding behind a dark corner.
You are also a significant danger to my child, not only because of your implict disregard for speeding laws, but because you are obviously a cretin with nary the mental capacity of a chicken. The simple fact that you exist makes the world a less safe place.
People have to get it into their heads that there aren't killers and rapists around every corner and that the police don't target speeders for a daft laugh. They kill people, a good number of people, every year.
People want to turn the fucking tele off for a second and try living their lives outwith the grip of the insane panic about fuck all so many seem enveloped in.
Tuesday, 26 October 2004
John Peel
Well, what terrible news.
John Peel will be remembered as a man who made an indelible mark on British music, bringing the nation such great bands as The Undertones and The Smiths.
For me and many others he simply is BBC Radio, the voice and champion of new music for generations.
We all know that the BBC likes to cultivate it's image as a benevolent institution, working for the best interests and the betterment of the nation. Part of what allows that idea to hold water has died today and we are all the poorer for that.
He will be sadly missed by music fans the world over and not least by me.
Monday, 25 October 2004
My Summer of Love
On Friday night I saw My Summer of Love (4/5). Very slow moving, but brilliant. A simple story that you may not think can sustain over an hour and a half but it really does.
Paddy Considine again proves that he's the best actor in Britain, with an amazing performance. The two girls were terrific as well, but Emily Blunt looks absolutely amazing.
However I reccomend it not cos one of the actresses is stunning to look at, but because it's an intelligent, thoughtfully made, beautiful to look at film with a first rate cast.
Paddy Considine again proves that he's the best actor in Britain, with an amazing performance. The two girls were terrific as well, but Emily Blunt looks absolutely amazing.
However I reccomend it not cos one of the actresses is stunning to look at, but because it's an intelligent, thoughtfully made, beautiful to look at film with a first rate cast.
Gay Baseball Anyone?
For those of you who have never checked out our link to Doug Stanhope’s website, you are missing out on a real treat. With Hicks dead, Pryor out of commission and Chris Rock making bad movies, Stanhope is about the best gigging comedian around at the moment and his latest shtick had Tom and I practically falling off our chairs when we read it.
The Context: Washington DC – City fathers have in their wisdom decided to locate a new baseball team slap bang in the middle of the local gay district, buying up their businesses and clubs and basically wrecking their whole scene in that annoying “fuck you, we’re doing it” manner city councils tend to do these things.
Using his innate ability to combine hilarity with Alexandrian logic, Stanhope suggests to the gay community that they threaten to “adopt” the new team and “get busy” in the stands during the matches.
As Stanhope himself says:
“They will not back down from threats of losing the gay vote in your district. They are not worried about your threats of lawsuits, either - c'mon, you're gay not Jewish. But the threat of 20,000 guys sucking cock in the stands during the 7th inning stretch? Maybe then they'll move to the industrial park.”
His site is full of this kind of cracking stuff so do yourself the proverbial and check it out in our links section. You must be eighteen!
The Context: Washington DC – City fathers have in their wisdom decided to locate a new baseball team slap bang in the middle of the local gay district, buying up their businesses and clubs and basically wrecking their whole scene in that annoying “fuck you, we’re doing it” manner city councils tend to do these things.
Using his innate ability to combine hilarity with Alexandrian logic, Stanhope suggests to the gay community that they threaten to “adopt” the new team and “get busy” in the stands during the matches.
As Stanhope himself says:
“They will not back down from threats of losing the gay vote in your district. They are not worried about your threats of lawsuits, either - c'mon, you're gay not Jewish. But the threat of 20,000 guys sucking cock in the stands during the 7th inning stretch? Maybe then they'll move to the industrial park.”
His site is full of this kind of cracking stuff so do yourself the proverbial and check it out in our links section. You must be eighteen!
Sunday, 24 October 2004
More Cowbell!
Some of you may be aware of this little comedic gem, possibly because I've put it on a CD for you, but go and read about and download Christopher Walken's hilarious More Cowbell sketch.
Friday, 22 October 2004
The Power of Nightmares
The BBC showed and enjoyable and articulate show the other night (Wed. @ 9pm I think) about the rise of both Islamic fundamentalism and American Neo Conservatism. Cleverly drawing parallels between the two concepts (both philosophies are rooted in the apparent collapse of the “Liberal” American or at least Western vision), the show basically suggests Radical Islam and the kind of Ultra Conservative American administration now in power rely on carefully constructed myths and the dissemination of fear to maintain their power.
America’s most powerful men such as Paul Wolfowitz, Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld are exposed (yet again) in the show as having been directly involved in falsifying information about The Soviet Union during the cold war (sound familiar?), suggesting falsely that every terrorist group in the world was being funded by the USSR etc, etc…
Basically, the men in charge of America right now were involved in propagating and disseminating lies in order to build a mythical America, an America whose mission it was to police a “dangerous” world, and therefore control it. They are still, quite obviously, on that same mission.
Sayyid Qutb, the man whose radical philosophies were taken up many others including Bin Laden, was executed before he could see his words mutate into the justifiable murder of any non-Muslim.
The show gets right to the root of two seemingly disparate worldviews that turn out to be basically the same in many respects. Both philosophies take it as a given that we can’t be trusted to look after ourselves. They saw Western society in the sixties and seventies as "in a state of collapse" and saw individualism as the problem. Both ideologies are determined to rein in our freedom and develop lost “shared moralities” synonymous with cultures of yesteryear. And they have both decided to do it using fear as their weapon, one feeding off the other – the Great Satan has a new enemy in the wake of the collapse of the Soviet Union. The message of the show seems to be there is nothing really to be afraid of, it’s the same old same old.
The next episodes will document how the two camps worked together to oust the USSR from Afghanistan and will go on to underline the fact that al-Qaeda doesn’t really exist. Cracking stuff, well worth a watch.
America’s most powerful men such as Paul Wolfowitz, Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld are exposed (yet again) in the show as having been directly involved in falsifying information about The Soviet Union during the cold war (sound familiar?), suggesting falsely that every terrorist group in the world was being funded by the USSR etc, etc…
Basically, the men in charge of America right now were involved in propagating and disseminating lies in order to build a mythical America, an America whose mission it was to police a “dangerous” world, and therefore control it. They are still, quite obviously, on that same mission.
Sayyid Qutb, the man whose radical philosophies were taken up many others including Bin Laden, was executed before he could see his words mutate into the justifiable murder of any non-Muslim.
The show gets right to the root of two seemingly disparate worldviews that turn out to be basically the same in many respects. Both philosophies take it as a given that we can’t be trusted to look after ourselves. They saw Western society in the sixties and seventies as "in a state of collapse" and saw individualism as the problem. Both ideologies are determined to rein in our freedom and develop lost “shared moralities” synonymous with cultures of yesteryear. And they have both decided to do it using fear as their weapon, one feeding off the other – the Great Satan has a new enemy in the wake of the collapse of the Soviet Union. The message of the show seems to be there is nothing really to be afraid of, it’s the same old same old.
The next episodes will document how the two camps worked together to oust the USSR from Afghanistan and will go on to underline the fact that al-Qaeda doesn’t really exist. Cracking stuff, well worth a watch.
"Are You My Caucasian?"
Those of you with cable may have seen last night's TV highlight. The appearance of rapper Crazee Eyes Killa on Curb Your Enthusiasm. Larry's hilarious attempts to be down in the hood with him may even have not been the funniest thing about the show as the Martin Scorsese starring finale had me laughing for about 5 minutes.
The second series is now out on Region 2 DVD and well worth a purchase.
The second series is now out on Region 2 DVD and well worth a purchase.
Thursday, 21 October 2004
G8
As some of you may have seen on television last night, that idiot Paul Gascoigne has settled on his new name. This all sounds like that episode of Seinfeld where George wanted people to call him 'T-Bone.' Of course it backfired and he became known as Coco, I'm sure Gazza could end up with a similar clown-like moniker.
Of course George wasn't doing it because his name had become synonymous with wife beating, alcoholism and chronic buffoonery. Well all apart from that last one.
Of course George wasn't doing it because his name had become synonymous with wife beating, alcoholism and chronic buffoonery. Well all apart from that last one.
Tuesday, 19 October 2004
Duff Hit Single
An interesting wee thing I read in The Guardian the other day was that Robbie Williams’s latest number one single was co-written by Stephen Duffy. If you remember him at all you will remember him as Stephen Tin-Tin Duffy who had hits with Kiss Me and The Icing on the Cake in 1985. However I’m more a fan of him circa The Lilac Time and his early 90s solo stuff. The Lilac Time were a kind of folk rock group who had nearly hits with things like Return to Yesterday and American Eyes.
Although I’m no fan of Robbie Williams’s music I am pleased that Stephen Duffy is finally having some long overdue commercial success after his many years of critically acclaimed, but poor selling albums and his numerous droppings by various record labels.
Although I’m no fan of Robbie Williams’s music I am pleased that Stephen Duffy is finally having some long overdue commercial success after his many years of critically acclaimed, but poor selling albums and his numerous droppings by various record labels.
Wednesday, 13 October 2004
From A Basement On The Hill
You can preview next week's new Elliott Smith album by clicking on the link. There's a lot of noisy guitars on it, which should please, be you in the non-acoustic camp. I've heard most of the songs on the album in their live acoustic form, so it's interesting hearing them with a band like King's Crossing for example.
So far I dunno if I like it more than Figure 8 or X/O or Either/Or. It's gathering universally great reviews, but music and all artforms I guess, weighs heavier on people posthumously. I'm not saying that it isn't a great album, just for me it doesn't seem a great distance ahead of any of the records I've mentioned. Maybe with more listens though...
So far I dunno if I like it more than Figure 8 or X/O or Either/Or. It's gathering universally great reviews, but music and all artforms I guess, weighs heavier on people posthumously. I'm not saying that it isn't a great album, just for me it doesn't seem a great distance ahead of any of the records I've mentioned. Maybe with more listens though...
Monday, 11 October 2004
Spamusement
I found this on my web travels Spamusement. It's a selection of cartoons based on actual Spam headlines. It's pretty funny.
Stranger Things Happen At Sea...
Of the turgid international football action I decided to waste my weekend watching only one wee side story struck any kind of a chord. Apparently, French debutante Antonio Rio Mavuba was actually born at sea while his parents were on their way to France to seek asylum.
Does that mean that technically he could choose to play for any country in the world? And are there enough players born at sea to put together an international side representing the sea, a Poseidon's eleven if you will? You would have to say they would be hard to beat at home, although I'd imagine a lot of matches would have to be called off due to a waterlogged pitch.
Does that mean that technically he could choose to play for any country in the world? And are there enough players born at sea to put together an international side representing the sea, a Poseidon's eleven if you will? You would have to say they would be hard to beat at home, although I'd imagine a lot of matches would have to be called off due to a waterlogged pitch.
My Name is Not Gazza
An hilarious story in the news this morning Paul Gascoigne is changing his name. He's not sure to what though. Apparently 'Paul' is too closely associated with 'Gazza.' Any suggestions what he could change it to?
Wednesday, 6 October 2004
Anchorman
I saw Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (4/5) last night. It was a very off the wall type of film. A bit out there even for that Zoolander type of comedy that it falls into. I think I most enjoyed the array of cameos.
Somehow though I've never bought Paul Rudd as a comedy actor. He bugged me in Friends, except for that episode when his character tried to bond with Ross. I dunno what it is about him, he just doesn't do it for me. That said I did laugh at some of his stuff in Anchorman.
Somehow though I've never bought Paul Rudd as a comedy actor. He bugged me in Friends, except for that episode when his character tried to bond with Ross. I dunno what it is about him, he just doesn't do it for me. That said I did laugh at some of his stuff in Anchorman.
He Finally Got Respect
Sad news this morning, the great American comedian Rodney Dangerfield has died after a long battle with illness. He was 82. We've blogged about him before and you'll probably know him best for his role in "Caddyshack" but it was his tremendous ability to come up with curt, self decpricating one liners (thousands of them over the years) that got me. He was old school and maybe not to everyone's tastes, but for me, he was a true professional and a funny guy. A sad loss to comedy.
Tuesday, 5 October 2004
Aki
For more hilarious football website fun, here's a link to the site of Palace winger Aki Riihilahti. Read Aki's views on match day bum abuse in his last bit of news. There is more Finnish hilarity throughout.
Green Gotten
Have a gander at this:
"The media regulator, Ofcom, has censured BBC football commentator Alan Green for making an apparently racist remark during a Manchester United v Arsenal clash.
Referring to a dispute between the referee and United's Eric Djemba-Djemba, Green suggested the player was saying "me no cheat", prompting a Radio 5 Live listener to complain that it was inappropriate to suggest a black man was unable to speak grammatical English. The BBC conceded the remark was "ill-judged", but said it should be seen in the context of Green's commitment to eradicate racism in football." Source: The Guardian
Yet another example of a bloated ignoramus being allowed to spout his unsavory predudices on the BBC.
I was personally glad to see Barry Davis retire the other week, since I consider him the master of the casual racist remark, something he inexplicably got away with for years, aided and abetted by his cumbersome side-kick Trevor Brooking.
That pair constantly derided foreign players, made numerous "tribal" references to black players, and generally helped re-enforce dumb cultural stereotypes for the duration of their partnership ("cool" Scandinavians, "temperamental" Latins etc...)
What sticks in my craw about Green, the latest to be found out, is the fact that he is obviously Irish but supports England with all the fervor of a rabid cockney skinhead and if there's one thing I hate, it's a fat English/Irish bastard....
"The media regulator, Ofcom, has censured BBC football commentator Alan Green for making an apparently racist remark during a Manchester United v Arsenal clash.
Referring to a dispute between the referee and United's Eric Djemba-Djemba, Green suggested the player was saying "me no cheat", prompting a Radio 5 Live listener to complain that it was inappropriate to suggest a black man was unable to speak grammatical English. The BBC conceded the remark was "ill-judged", but said it should be seen in the context of Green's commitment to eradicate racism in football." Source: The Guardian
Yet another example of a bloated ignoramus being allowed to spout his unsavory predudices on the BBC.
I was personally glad to see Barry Davis retire the other week, since I consider him the master of the casual racist remark, something he inexplicably got away with for years, aided and abetted by his cumbersome side-kick Trevor Brooking.
That pair constantly derided foreign players, made numerous "tribal" references to black players, and generally helped re-enforce dumb cultural stereotypes for the duration of their partnership ("cool" Scandinavians, "temperamental" Latins etc...)
What sticks in my craw about Green, the latest to be found out, is the fact that he is obviously Irish but supports England with all the fervor of a rabid cockney skinhead and if there's one thing I hate, it's a fat English/Irish bastard....
Monday, 4 October 2004
The Shield is Back
Some of you may have been as relieved as I on Saturday night, when The Shield came back to our screens after being AWOL for 3 weeks. Vic and the boys 'ripped Koreatown a new one.' Champion stuff. Those ignorant fuckers at Five didn't respond to my 3rd e-mail asking them to explain the baffling schedule. Only 3 more weeks to go though.
G Mail
As some of the more web savvy among you may know G-mail is Google's e-mail launch. It's only available via invite and between us Fizz and I have 11 invitations. If you want one leave your e-mail address in the comment box and we'll send you one.
The Movies
Over the weekend I saw some films. First up, Dead Man's Shoes (4/5) A violent revenge thriller than draws parallels with Death Wish and Get Carter among others. However it's not typical of that genre. Paddy Considine's character Richard isn't your standard typical good guy. He's menacing in a villainous kind of way. His performance is very subtle. Having written the script alongside director Shane Meadows he could have gone for the big speeches and flashy set-pieces that a lot of films in this mould go for. But he doesn't, he certainly has his moments, but his dialogue is minimal and perhaps more effective for it and the most gruesome pieces of action take place off camera.
The film provides a very unsettling feeling throughout right up until the end and it's certainly not for everybody, but it's definitely something I'll see again. Special praise must go to former boxer Gary Stretch who puts in a fine turn as Sonny. Perhaps he should have thrown the towel in on his fight career years ago.
I also saw Metallica: Some Kind of Monster (4/5) A pretty amusing documentary that's being touted as 'The Real Spinal Tap.' Some of the highlights for me were the band therapist Phil practically becoming a member of the band, Lars Ulrich's odd looking, but pretty cool father and Dave Mustaine, former Metallica guitarist sacked about 16 years earlier, bleeting in a therapy session about how he's a loser compared to the rest of them. His band Megadeth being only a moderate success compared to Metallica's massive success. Very funny, if you like watching bitter people complain about their lot in life, which I do. Despite his straw not being particularly short.
Drummer Lars Ulrich comes across as a decent guy, despite his petty lawsuit against Napster. I think the films sags a little bit toward the end and if you can avoid seeing it with bellowing Metallica fans in the audience all the better.
The film provides a very unsettling feeling throughout right up until the end and it's certainly not for everybody, but it's definitely something I'll see again. Special praise must go to former boxer Gary Stretch who puts in a fine turn as Sonny. Perhaps he should have thrown the towel in on his fight career years ago.
I also saw Metallica: Some Kind of Monster (4/5) A pretty amusing documentary that's being touted as 'The Real Spinal Tap.' Some of the highlights for me were the band therapist Phil practically becoming a member of the band, Lars Ulrich's odd looking, but pretty cool father and Dave Mustaine, former Metallica guitarist sacked about 16 years earlier, bleeting in a therapy session about how he's a loser compared to the rest of them. His band Megadeth being only a moderate success compared to Metallica's massive success. Very funny, if you like watching bitter people complain about their lot in life, which I do. Despite his straw not being particularly short.
Drummer Lars Ulrich comes across as a decent guy, despite his petty lawsuit against Napster. I think the films sags a little bit toward the end and if you can avoid seeing it with bellowing Metallica fans in the audience all the better.
Friday, 1 October 2004
Give Us A Break!
A great day for me yesterday as I decided my horrible cold meant I had to pull a sickie for the first time in over 3 years.
It meant that I spend the day watching Murder She Wrote (guest starring Magnum and Higgins !!!), Moonlighting, the brilliant Sports Night and watched Rangers deservedly go through to the UEFA cup group stage.
That’s really what I’m on for. I’m a bit annoyed, yet again, with the reporting of what happened in the papers.
Instead of congratulating Rangers and Alex McLeish who showed great character to turn round an appalling start to the season, they have chosen instead to try and maintain the “Big Eck’s Job in the Balance” nonsense they’ve been peddling for weeks.
Basically, Rangers have risen to the challenge and rammed a lot of the criticism they were getting down the journalists throats, so rather than say “fair play” it’s “Eck Earns Reprieve” and similar pish, because they can’t ever admit they were wrong.
Alan Davidson in the Evening Times says that McLeish is a decent man. So why pillory him when he’s been given sod all to spend and had all his best players taken away from him?
Make no mistake, this current Rangers side as poor as I’ve ever seen, but they have shown real guts and determination lately and deserve credit for it.
But you never get credit from Scottish sports journalists, you don’t even get proper reporting of the facts. You just get a bunch of charlatans trying to justify a witch hunt, so that if things ever go wrong again, they can bay for blood and say I told you so.
It’s a shame that we live in a world where little men get to decide the fate of people who have actually done something.
It meant that I spend the day watching Murder She Wrote (guest starring Magnum and Higgins !!!), Moonlighting, the brilliant Sports Night and watched Rangers deservedly go through to the UEFA cup group stage.
That’s really what I’m on for. I’m a bit annoyed, yet again, with the reporting of what happened in the papers.
Instead of congratulating Rangers and Alex McLeish who showed great character to turn round an appalling start to the season, they have chosen instead to try and maintain the “Big Eck’s Job in the Balance” nonsense they’ve been peddling for weeks.
Basically, Rangers have risen to the challenge and rammed a lot of the criticism they were getting down the journalists throats, so rather than say “fair play” it’s “Eck Earns Reprieve” and similar pish, because they can’t ever admit they were wrong.
Alan Davidson in the Evening Times says that McLeish is a decent man. So why pillory him when he’s been given sod all to spend and had all his best players taken away from him?
Make no mistake, this current Rangers side as poor as I’ve ever seen, but they have shown real guts and determination lately and deserve credit for it.
But you never get credit from Scottish sports journalists, you don’t even get proper reporting of the facts. You just get a bunch of charlatans trying to justify a witch hunt, so that if things ever go wrong again, they can bay for blood and say I told you so.
It’s a shame that we live in a world where little men get to decide the fate of people who have actually done something.
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