Michael Jackson 1958-2009

So yesterday I went down to Balloch for the day, then into town to the cinema, purely to stay away from the computer for one day. Then when I finally switch the thing on, around half ten at night, I discover the internet has gone mental.

Musicians at Glastonbury are falling over themselves to sing snatches of his songs, while comedians and anyone else online can't get the jokes out fast enough.

Uri Geller appears to see it as a resurrection of his own career, whatever the fuck it was he did that made him famous. He twice avoided the question, "When did you last speak to Michael Jackson?" on the news last night. Presumably because the answer, "About 6 or 7 years ago," would make him less relevant to TV producers wanting soundbites. He also put the phone down on the BBC saying he was too upset to talk, only to turn up on Sky News ten minutes later with his good jumper on, a camera crew firmly set up in his front room.

It's a wonder Frank Carson hasn't been on anywhere, mourning the loss and then launching into a chunk of his act.

My pal Natalie will be on Sky News at about 7 o'clock, representing Muso's Guide. She certainly can't do any worse than prize plum Craig David. The 28-year old apparently said that he never thought he'd "See Michael Jackson die in my lifetime."

For the people saying that he was killed by over rehearsing for his 50 dates in London, it should perhaps be noted that he was being trained by The Hulk.

Comic Book dot Com has 'The Top 8 Strangest Comic Book Stories About Michael Jackson'.

I had Thriller on cassette when I was about 12. There's no denying he wrote some cracking songs and will be remembered as one of music's true greats. But then he went nuts...

This is a round-up of how my favourite music blog No Rock and Roll Fun covered the story.

Fringe Sell Out for Kevin

Following on from last week's post of Kevin Bridges and his storming appearance on Michael McIntyre's Comedy Roadshow, it's been announced that he's sold out all his shows at the Edinburgh Festival. Making him, I believe, the first act this year to do so. He's therefore had to add four more shows at bigger venues.

If you've not got a ticket to see him yet then I guess now is the best time to do so. In the meantime away and watch two minutes of him on Paramount Comedy's The World Stands Up. Oh aye, and he's now on Twitter as well. Follow him on www.twitter.com/kbridges1986.

Incidentially, I think perhaps I've lost any knack I may once have had for coming up with headlines on these posts. That's what posting instead on Twitter and Facebook does for you.

Wie Open Spaces

The new film from Father Ted co-writer Arthur Mathews, here's a look at The Famine Ship Restaurant.

Jelly Parties

From the brilliant Psychoville here's Mr. Jelly's promotional video for Mr Jelly and his box of a hundred hands.

Kevin Bridges on the Roadshow

In case you missed him when it was on the telly Saturday week there here's our comedy mucker Kevin Bridges storming it in front of 3,000 people at the Edinburgh Playhouse on Michael McIntyre's Comedy Roadshow.

Limmy's Show

As you may have already read in the papers today Limmy's Show has been commissioned for a full series by BBC Scotland. It probably won't reach your screens until early next year, but at least we all know it's coming. Down below are three sketches from the pilot, including one of some guy being chased through a park.

The Voluntary Butler Scheme

I interviewed Rob Jones, who is The Voluntary Butler Scheme, for Muso's Guide a couple of weeks ago. You can read my interview here. The video for his single 'Trading Things In' is down below.

Twat Egged

Here's some not very good footage of Nick Griffin being egged by people who appear to be following him around like the protesters who never left Homer's side in the Homer Bad Man episode of the Simpsons. Hopefully, as the weeks progress, better footage of Nick Griffin being egged will emerge.

Hitting 50

About a year ago I came up with the mildly daft idea of going to 50 football matches over the course of the 2008/09 season. Yesterday I finally did it when I attended the Junior Cup final featuring Clydebank and Auchinleck Talbot.

It's been an entertaining season and I've had fun going to the games. It was intended just to be a one season thing, but I plan to carry on with it next season and hopefully get to a wider variety of matches.

My report on game fifty is here.

'Pish Mix

Most folk I know seem to be using Spotify. If you're one of them then here's a mix I've put together. It features, among others, The National, The Shins, Frightened Rabbit and Bishop Allen as well some comedy.

If you've not got it then you can download Spotify for nowt and use it complete with annoyingly chatty adverts. (I've found that I can't open Spotify links in Firefox, but they open fine in Internet Explorer.)

Some Links

I've found I've been posting less on here and more on daft Facebook and Twitter. Probably more people read them there right enough, but anyway, here's a couple of things I've posted there that I'm now posting here.

Kenny Burns, the former Nottingham Forest defender, gives an amusing interview to The Sunday Herald about the 'poofs' and 'pansies' playing the modern game.

The always funny Adam and Joe in The Observer. Again from The Observer, a reminder not to vote BNP next week.

Finally, here's a great scene from The Office where Kevin brings in to work his famous chilli.

Barcelona win La Liga

Thanks to Villareal's win over Real Madrid. Highlights below.

Whatever Works

Larry David stars in Woody Allen's new movie. Here's the trailer.

The BBC's New Comedy Site

The BBC has a new comedy site online. A sketch from Limmy's Show is there sitting side by side with stuff like Flight of the Conchords and Stewart Lee. If you're interested you've probably already seen it. Well you can see it again here.

Barca v. Villareal

We've turned into a Spanish football blog, but when La Liga is serving up classics every weekend why not? Barcelona versus Villareal highlights down below.

Why Mince When You Can Mangle?

In keeping with our recent theme of football related posts, here's Chick Young's daft blog entry about the upcoming Old Firm game. Scroll down for the hilarious comments left by ordinary punters, almost all apparently fed up with Chick's insane patter.

Real vs. Barca

Another cracker from La Liga on Saturday night.

More Spanish Football

One cracking goal and some hideous blunders from last night's Valencia-Barcelona clash.

Real Madrid-Getafe

A great article from Sid Lowe in The Guardian about last night's Real Madrid victory over Getafe. Watch down below for Pepe going mental and one of the worst penalty kicks of all time.

Liverpool and The Sun

A good article in The Guardian about the people of Liverpool's continued hatred for The Sun thanks to the lies the paper told about Hillsborough.

Cut Scene from In the Loop

Some cracking stuff from Steve Coogan.

Jimmy Fallon Gets Susan Boyle Crazy

Late Night with Jimmy Fallon finds that Susan Boyle soothes all.

Wes Craven's Health and Safety

Apparently this is a real health and safety in the workplace training video. It's not for the squeamish.

Bongos

Rainn Wilson from The Office joins Weezer's Rivers Cuomo on a cover of Joan Osborne's hit 'One of Us'.

America's Team

I was up in Fort William yesterday to see the local team take on Deveronvale. Fort William haven't won a match since September 2007. Well, they didn't win yesterday either. Although they took the lead early on, they finished on the wrong end of a 6-1 thumping.

You can have a look at my report of the game on my other site here. However, the reason I want you to go and have a look is because of the scheme Fort William have got themselves involved with. When you click on the link play the video I have embedded. It's a film by the company making the America's Team project that's designed to take Fort William 'From zeroes to heroes'. Although it's clearly amusing, I found it offensive to the football team and everyone involved with it.

I've written more about why and about the scheme on the link.

UPDATE: My post has received a response from Paul McDonald, the man behind the America's Team project. Go and have a look at the comments section for our back and forth.

Odds and Sods - The Verdict

I thought I should write a wee bit on 'Odds and Sods' our rehearsed reading which played to a sold out Ramshorn Theatre last night.

It seemed to go over pretty well with the audience and certainly everyone I spoke to said that they enjoyed it. A lot of people decided to hang around afterwards as well, which was nice.

It was slightly unusual as this was the first production we've undertaken where neither Fraser nor I took a part in it, so we watched proceedings from the back of the theatre.

The cast we put together were all really good. Moira Byrne of course we know and love from Glue and we wrote the part of Janice especially for her. It's easily the best part we've ever given her and she really excelled.

John Love fitted the part of Shug really well. He got the character from the off and really gave his all to it. The wee tender moment he has near the end John performed with aplomb.

James Keenan relished the opportunity to play a bastard in Sandy and seemed surprised when people told him afterwards that they were sympathetic to his character. Just proved how much he put into him that made people care about him, even if he isn't the nicest guy.

Robert Radcliffe handled the part of Frank brilliantly from the get-go. Along with Jen Byrne, who gave the character of Shelagh a lot more sass than we'd envisaged, he formed a great romantic duo.

Scottish Comedian of the Year Scott Agnew, making his acting debut, perfectly fitted Jordon, the washed up former boyband singer. We always had Scott in mind for the part and he did a really good job with it, using his comedian's improvisational skills when the need arose.

Last, but definitely not least, was Will Speirs as Milton. Will brought a manic energy to the part we never saw coming. Always explosive in rehearsals he was a real hit with the audience on the night.

With any luck 'Odds and Sods' will be back as a full-length play in the Autumn.

There is a review on our mate John's site.

The Damned United

I'm loathe to link again to TalkSport for the second time in a week but here we are. There's good reason though because this week they are doing a special on The Damned United, the film of David Peace's book which hits the cinemas tomorrow.

This an interview with Michael Sheen discussing playing Brian Clough. It lasts for over 17 minutes.

This is a 2 minute interview with Timothy Spall about playing Peter Taylor.

There was also an interview this afternoon with director Tom Hooper. I'll stick that up when it's on the site.

Iannucci In the Loop

Armando Iannucci talks about In the Loop in The Observer. The Sunday Times talks to Iannucci and Peter Capaldi. The Sunday Herald chats to In the Loop star Chris Addison.

Down below Iannucci talks to the Edinburgh TV Festival about the film.

Graeme Souness on TalkSport

Former Liverpool and Scotland captain Graeme Souness has hit the headlines today thanks to a bust-up at his son's Under-10s football match. The Sun ran this story telling of Souness's 'foul-mouthed rant'.

Jeff Goodwin, 46, who was watching his son Jacob, said: “This guy should know better. There were ladies in our group. He did say to them, ‘Excuse me.’

“But he told our coach, ‘If you think this is the way to teach kids to play, you’ve no f***ing chance.’

It's a bit of a non-story, perhaps not such a coincidence that this film featuring Ray Winstone has just been put up on the FA's website as part of the Respect campaign.

But far more amusing was Souness's call to his former Scotland team-mate Alan Brazil on TalkSport in order to clear the matter up. You can listen to the 6 1/2 minute call here. He's pretty angry. This was what woke me up this morning. The Souness Alarm Clock, I think you could market it.

Odds and Sods - 4 Days to Go

If you fancy coming to see the rehearsed reading of the play what we wrote - Odds and Sods - then get yer tickets fast. There's only about 20 or so left.

You can reserve tickets and pay on the night by phoning or e-mailing the Ramshorn Theatre on 0141-552-3489 or ramshorn dot theatre (at) strath dot ac dot uk. You can also buy them through the SECC on 0870 0135464 or through their website.

I've already heard the "I'm skint" excuse trotted out. It's only Four pounds (£4). Going by rehearsals it should be a laugh. Of course since it's partially a You Owe Me Glue production it's not been going as smoothly as we would like. But everything will come together on the night I'm quite sure.

So do come along.

Bathtub IV

This is a great tilt-shift video. It's worth a few minutes of your time to watch it. Via.


Bathtub IV from Keith Loutit on Vimeo.

Another Pundit Loses It

Ronnie and I discussed this on Twitter within minutes, then I stuck it up for folk to have a look at on my Facebook page. The discussions have slowly been spreading round the net. On Match of the Day 2 last night former West Ham and Charlton gaffer Alan Pardew described a piece of play by Chelsea's Michael Essien by saying "He absolutely rapes him there."

I froze when I heard it and thought, 'He didn't just say 'rapes him' did he? 'Rakes him' mibbie? But slowly it seems football fans throughout the country have been thinking the same thing. 'I didn't imagine that did I? He did say it. He did.'

It's already on his Wikipedia page, although since the content there will no doubt be amended soon I'll just quote from it here.

" * In March 2009, on Match of the Day 2 Pardew stated that Chelsea F.C. midfielder Michael Essien "absolutely rapes" Manchester City player Ched Evans during a midfield tussle, Essien has since gone AWOL since the accusation was made leading many people to believe the claims were probably true.

The BBC after terminating his contact announce that they will be replacing him on MOTD2 with Ron Atkinson."

Some folk are insisting it's just a saying, although I go to a lot of football matches and I've never heard anyone say it (and at a Clydebank game several years ago I once heard a guy loudly instruct a player that the best way to deal with an opponent would be to "Pish in his mooth.")

The guys on football programmes talk a lot of rubbish for the most part and the basic rule that will keep you coming back on these shows is just knowning not to swear on air. Or make racist remarks, or, you would imagine, not to make casual comments about rape.

I'm not making any call for him to be removed from telly. (Although since there's hunners of ex-pros out there, maybe someone else could have a crack at it) I just thought it was a ridiculous thing to have said.

I'm sure we'll hear more about it in the days to come.

With the wonders of the internet, footage was up on YouTube in about 15 minutes. (Ignore the chatter from the two guys who've filmed it, as it's frankly more offensive than Pardew, but they're not being paid to sit and talk about football on BBC 2.)

Arshavin vs. Blackburn

Was this not just pure class?

In the Loop Trailer

It's the film of the year for me so far. Here's the trailer.

Ricky Gervais and Elmo

"You can't even control a muppet and a fat guy."

Watchmen Opening Titles

No surprise but Warner Bros have again requested that the Watchmen opening titles be taken down from YouTube. Instead, although it's all over the internet, so you've probably already seen it, here's the opening to Watchmen the Saturday morning kids' TV show.

Cavett Talks to Updike

If you've read this blog for a while you may know that one of my big comedy heroes is Dick Cavett. He's also, I think, one of the best TV talk show hosts of all time. The New York Times has posted a full half hour show where Cavett talks to John Updike and John Cheever. Cavett is also one of the many real life characters portrayed in the new Watchmen movie.

Watchmen

Has there ever been a time where someone tried to replicate a perfect day or experience for you? Maybe its taking you back to a restaurant where you had a great meal or a holiday spot where you fell in love or just had the best time with your friends. Then someone takes you back and tries to do the impossible and replicate the magic. You end up feeling bad about yourself because you appreciate the effort but also resent them for trying to do something so blindingly obviously un-doable. That pretty much sums up how I felt walking out of the cinema yesterday having just taken in Zak Snyder’s “Watchmen”.

It’s a very solid effort with some excellent moments – the jail sequence and Dr Manhattan’s origin being particular high points. But it plods for long periods and the soundtrack is sometimes extremely jarring. I also wonder how people who do not know and love the comic will relate to these characters and even get what’s going on half the time. Characters are implied rather than introduced and plot elements simply happen without any sense of pace or crescendo.

It may well be that there will eventually come a director's cut of this that hangs together a little better – certainly how anyone could hope to perform the alchemy of squeezing 400 pages of densely plotted and drawn graphic fiction into a 2 hours plus movie is beyond me – and I’m sure there will be myriad DVD extended versions of this to tantalise us further.

In the end though I have to say I can’t see how anyone could have done any better with the task in hand. But when the task is effectively turning apples into oranges, what was the point of trying in the first place? Just read the comic for fucks sake.

WTF is Watchmen?

With Watchmen now in the cinemas Landline TV asks some people why it's so awesome.

Phil Hartman's Audition Tape

Phil Hartman was a legend in American comedy. You probably know him best as Lionel Hutz and Troy McClure on The Simpsons. If you can watch him in NewsRadio as he knocks the socks off his fellow actors in that show.

This is his Saturday Night Live audition tape.

Limmy's Show – Behind the Scenes

I hope you all watched Limmy's Show. If you didn't you can now by watching it on the BBC iPlayer. As I didn't write anything about the recording of the show when I was doing it I thought I would write a wee bit now that the show has went out. However, there's no scandal or crazy antics that would really make interesting reading. Everyone who worked on it was lovely and dead professional.

Unsurprisingly doing Limmy's Show was about the best week of work I've done in my life. The whole production started off with the John Paul sketch where I play a hapless passer-by who gets hounded. Brian filmed this with me in March last year for his Comedy Festival show. That time it was only me, him and a video camera. This time round we went back to the same spots in the Botanic Gardens with a crew of about 20 folk. Handy, since when I fell flat on my face running too fast when I was out of shot anyway, I could change into clean clothes and have the dirt wiped off my face by April, the kindly costume lady.

Brian has told me more than once that he's worried if I go through the Botanics again in the next few months I'll get chased about by neds. I'll let youse all know if that happens.

From reading the script the two sketches that made me laugh out loud on the page were the one with the wee boy on the bus and the Mr. Mulvaney sketch. I think they both turned out to be two of the show's highlights. The wee boy was as cute and happy on the set as he looked in the programme.

As well as Limmy, the other actors on the show were great fun to work with. Debbie Welsh has been in several shows and you may have recognised her from her recent appearances in No Holds Bard or the Rab C. Nesbitt Christmas special. Raymond Mearns probably had the best wee bit of acting out of the three of us with his 'Bed' scene. The way he held his expression and kept it all quite small was great. Raymond is of course a well kent face around the comedy circuit and his patter on the way to the set in the morning kept us all amused.

Ironically the sketch I had the most fun filming was the only one where Brian wasn't in the room. He was off in make up while Debbie, Raymond and I filmed the boardroom part of the Twenty's Plenty sketch. Everyone simply made each other laugh throughout the filming, the three of us, the crew and the art department. One of those moments where you realise you're really quite lucky getting to do something like that for a job.

Everyone who worked on the show was really nice and a pleasure to be around. Here's hoping we all get to work together again.

I realise this is all a bit 'What I did in my summer holidays' but until I get cast in a David O. Russell film I'm afraid it'll be all this folk being nice to one another carry-on. Unless you want to hear about the short film I did a month or two later...

Limmy's Show (on the Telly)

As you may know already Limmy's Show is set to air on the telly this week. Tomorrow in fact. The details are below.

Wednesday 18th February, 10pm
BBC2 Scotland (Sky 990 / Freesat 970)

And repeated...
Monday 23rd February, 11:15pm
BBC1 Scotland (Sky 971 / Freesat 960)

It's also on the BBC iPlayer.

If you need any more reason to watch it other than the fact that it's set to be pretty funny then how about this - I'm in it. You can look out for me getting chased around the Botanic Gardens as well as in a few other places.

Come back on Thursday morning and I'll tell you what it was like working on. There's no crazy tales of rants or 20 point memos of dos and don'ts around the talent, just a pleasant working environment, but while I'm in a hot show on the telly I may as well write a wee bit about it.

You should also be able to catch Limmy this morning on MacAulay & Co from 10am on Radio Scotland.

So that show again Limmy's Show. And the time and location Wednesday 18th February 10pm on BBC2.

GFF Opening Gala

I attended the opening gala of the Glasgow Film Festival last night. The GFT had a red carpet laid out on the way in and through to the foyer. There were several photographers in action, lifting their cameras when someone came across the red carpet and dropping them again when they turned out to be no one.

Glue's photographer of choice Heidi was one of them and I'm sure she'll have some pics up on her site soon.

There were sundry complimentary drinks on offer. More accurately complimentary fizzy wine, no soft drinks that I could see. When I got into the cinema there were goodie bags on every seat. At first glance it appeared that someone had gone round pubs in Glasgow and chucked all the free magazines and brochures they could find into a cloth sack, on closer inspection however there were a couple of all right things in there.

A miniature Auchentoshan whisky, two copies of The List magazine (one to read, one for the bin), several vouchers for two for ones in fancy coffee shops, free passes for some club or other, a promotional DVD on Glasgow and a bottle of still lemonade. There was also two free passes to visit the Auchentoshan Distillery and that I may well do.

Although the time on the ticket said 7.15 by 7.30 the film was still nowhere near starting and the folk in my row were repeatedly getting up to go and get more free wine. This of course meant that I was constantly lifting up my jacket, bag and free bag of junk.

By 8 o'clock we got the opening speeches from the festival directors, then by some dignitaries. Finally Armando Iannucci came up to the mic to introduce his film and reminisce about "Dogging maths to come in here to see Felicity Kendall do a talk."

The film that I was there to see was, of course, In The Loop. Although not strictly a film version of The Thick of It, it does share a couple of characters and several actors.

It was abolsutely brilliant from the first scene on. Peter Capaldi is outstanding in his role as Malcolm Tucker. The rest of the cast too are on form from Tom Hollander as the hapless, bungling minister to Chris Addison, David Rasche, James Gandolfini, Paul Higgins and Gina McKie.

With the story crossing over into Washington it was interesting to see Tucker come up against Americans who don't have the same fear for him that his colleagues in London do.

After the screening there was an entertaining Q & A with Iannucci, Capaldi and Addison along with the writers and producers.

This is Iannucci's Sundance film diary when the film premiered over there.

On my way out I stopped to listen in to a row between two men probably both in middle age. One of them was shouting to the other that he had ruined the film for him by talking all the way through it. There appeared to be a half-hearted challenge to 'Take it outside'. One of them nearly spilled their free wine.

Joaquin Phoenix on The Late Show with David Letterman

Joaquin Phoenix on the Late Show with David Letterman. Phoenix has recently announced his retirement from acting and a move into hip-hop. Some people think that his performance was a stunt for the Casey Affleck directed documentary about him. Other people think he's off his head. James Gray who directed his latest film as well as a couple of others, says he's baffled by his behaviour.

More great Letterman moments at this link.

Inglorious Basterds Trailer

Down below is a trailer for Quentin Tarantino's new film Inglorious Basterds.

Jon Stewart Nails Bill O'Reilly

You may have seen this elsewhere but it's too good a bit of on the money comedy to not link to. Jon Stewart and The Daily Show gleefully pinpoint nutcase Fox broadcaster Bill O'Reilly's hypocrisy.

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Bill O'Reilly's Right to Privacy

Daily Show Full Episodes
Important Things With Demetri Martin

Funny Political News
Joke of the Day

The Onion News Network

A couple of goodies from the Onion News Network. A depressent for the annoyingly cheerful and then down below that and definitely not safe for work Sony releases a new piece of shit that doesn't work.

The FA Cup Cock-Up

There was an FA Cup fourth-round replay played last night between Everton and Liverpool. It was on live on ITV, but not for viewers in Scotland. The reason for this is STV's eagerness to frequently 'opt-out' of network programming. When the BBC had the rights to the FA Cup the whole of Britain got to see it. I'd thought we were past the days when we were forced to watch 'a quiz about hills presented by Paul Coia' when the rest of Britain enjoyed football, Seinfeld or other quality programming. Apparently not.

What STV showed instead was a repeat of Foyle's War. Not what STV said they would do in this slot - broadcast locally produced output. Being involved in the Scottish entertainment industry myself I would be delighted if the decision allowed STV the opportunity to create and air new Scottish programmes at primetime. Except that doesn't seem to be what STV are doing. The suggestion all along was that they have taken the nip at paying what they perceive to be too much money for network programming.

So instead I watched the game online at ITV's website. The match itself was an utter borefrest, with I don't think one shot on target all throughout 90 minutes. When the game moved into extra time forcing the News at Ten to be delayed, STV the top drawer broadcasters they are, marked time for around 50 minutes by playing filler programmes such as Moviejuice Moments and a profile on Beyonce as well as showing repeated adverts for forthcoming shows.

It was little better on ITV and online however as with two minutes remaining in extra-time ITV cut to an ad break. When they returned Everton supersub Dan Gosling was celebrating with his team-mates having just slotted the ball into the net for the game's only goal (and shot on target). You can watch that debacle down below.

In the game's commentary this little beauty was reported by several people on online forums. Bear in mind that Phil Jagielka and Phil Neville are team-mates who were playing alongside one another last night.

"Phil Jagielka, with his versatility, he is a modern day Phil Neville."

Dali on What's My Line

This is an episode of the game show What's My Line. The guest that the panel have to identify is Salvador Dali.

Important Things With Demetri Martin

Comedy Central Debuts "Important Things With Demetri Martin" on 2/11 from Demetri Martin

Here is a trailer for Demetri Martin's new show 'Important Things With Demetri Martin'.

Mary & Bill Hicks on Letterman

Here is Friday night's appearance by Mary Hicks on Late Night With David Letterman.

Letterman apologises several times for cutting Hicks' performance from that 1993 show and admits that the decision was his and his alone. He now seems baffled as to why he took the steps that he did.

"What was the matter with me? What was I thinking?"

Here is John Lahr's profile of Hicks in the aftermath of the censorship.

Sunday Video Playlist

Here is a selction of videos for your pleasure. Hit play and they'll play one after the other. Or watch them individually.

First up is Last Call Cleveland and Duelling Stand-Ups.

Next it's the trailer for the forthcoming film adaptation of David Peace's novel The Damned United.

Then it's a sketch from this coming Tuesday's episode of Cowards on BBC4.

After that it's Chris Rock from the newly released on DVD Kill the Messenger talking about his rich neighbourhood.

Finally, my mum put me onto this one, it's Todd Carty hilariously skating off the ice on Dancing on Ice.

Chalkboards

The Guardian have launched interactive chalkboards on their football pages. These boards analyse Premiership games from this and past seasons showing you goals, passes, player movements and everything else you might want to know. Go to their Quick Start Guide to find out how to make the best of it.

John Martyn 1948-2009

Singer-songwriter John Martyn has died at the age of 60. Although born in Surrey, Martyn grew up in Glasgow and was widely sited as an inspiration by many and varied popular musicians throughout the years.

Martyn was so much of an influence on Wet Wet Wet they nicked much of his stuff wholesale.

I only saw him perform live once, at Glasgow Green in 1989, where he was one of many support acts for Wet Wet Wet's free concert.

Down below is Martyn performing 'May You Never' on The Old Grey Whistle Test in 1973. This is an interview with him from November 2007.

It May Be Time

This is a commercial for Career Builder dot com. Watch it cos it's absolutely brilliant.



via.

If you liked that then you'll probably enjoy this 8 minute compilation of 16 of their monkey ads.

Flight of the Conchords Live

Here is a 50 minute show from Flight of the Conchords when they played at a record shop in April of 2008. It does take them about ten minutes to get started, but it's well worth a watch.

Doug Stanhope - Word of Mouth

You know this ain't safe for work. This is all 84 minutes of Doug Stanhope's 2002 DVD Word of Mouth.

Bill Hicks on Letterman

This Friday evening Late Night with David Letterman will air the infamous never before broadcast 1st October 1993 performance by Bill Hicks. One of the guests on the show that night is his mother, Mary Hicks.

It's a big deal, not only because the editing of his entire performance from the show, caused Hicks much consternation, but because it'll be the first time in a long while that his material will have reached this large an audience. Surprisingly Hicks isn't held in the same esteem in his home country as he is here and the airing of his performance should lead to him being discovered by a lot more people.

Hicks discusses the censorship in one of his last ever recorded interviews down below.

Leary on Leary

This is funny stuff. Denis Leary talks about Denis Leary movies.

On Demolition Man - "Wesley Snipes was insane cos he insisted on doing all of his own action stuff. Then they'd wait until they wrapped him and then they'd have the stunt guy come in and re-do all the action stuff."

Denis Leary Remembers Denis Leary Movies - watch more funny videos

Denis Leary Remembers Denis Leary Movies Part II - watch more funny videos

Minutemen Photograph

From Ain't It Cool News comes this 1940 picture of The Minutemen from the forthcoming Watchmen movie.

Obama's Inagauration

With George W. Bush packing his bags this afternoon and Barack Obama moving his stuff into the White House, here's a look at some of the things that are happening today.

First up a profile of Obama's chief speechwriter, Jon Favreau.

Favreau would be up most nights until 3am, honing the next day's stump speeches in a caffeine haze of espressos and Red Bull energy drinks, taking breaks to play the video game Rock Band. He coined a phrase for this late-night deadline surfing: "crashing".

A BBC report on the security measures in place.

A short video of Bush's belongings being removed from The White House, put in a van and then chucked in the river (hopefully).

Below is a video where Iraqis discuss their thoughts on Obama.



Read all the previous inauguration speeches.

The BBC has unearthed footage of Dr Martin Luther King predicting a "Negro president", although he was out by 20 years.

An article from The Times on the changes that are set to be made to The White House website when Obama's tech-savvy team comes in.

Dave Chappelle on the first black president.



Black comics talk about Obama.



Chris Rock supporting Obama.



From The Richard Pryor Show - The 40th President of the United States



Obama is urged to create a new tartan to celebrate his Scottish roots.



Originally uploaded by Gattoraffa

Flickr have an Inauguration 2009 pool and I'll post a few of those photos throughout the afternoon.

The New York Times have a live blog.

Not Quite Nigella has a recipe for the Barack Obama Inauguration Pizza and some photographs of the quite impressive finished product.


ObamaDrama163
Originally uploaded by SteveThornton


The Huffington Post have their own Obama Inauguration page.

Dick Cheney is at the inauguration in a wheelchair thanks to injuring his back moving boxes into his new house.

Here's a cracking picture of me all done up in Obama's style courtesy of Obamicon.Me.

Get your Obama gear on the streets of Washington here.

The Guardian has a report on Obama's swearing-in.

The FBI is investigating two "streams of intelligence" suggesting the "Somalia-based terrorist organization Al Shabaab" may have been plotting an attack timed to coincide with the event.

CNN has President Obama's just completed speech in full.

USA Today has a set of inauguration photographs on Flickr.

News that both Senator Ted Kennedy and Senator Robert Byrd have collapsed at the inuaguration lunch.

The Daily Show has plenty of stuff on the inauguration in their own inimitable style.

Ted Sorensen, speechwriter for JFK when he made his inaugral speech in 1961, gives The Guardian his view on President Obama's speech.

Happy Birthday to Me!

Hello Tom,

So, you've made it another year, huh? Impressive. Well, impressive if you consider your festering stagnant life clicking over another year an accomplishment. I bet you woke up today feeling a little bit excited still, huh? Despite all your misanthropic bullshit, a little part of you - that little part that dime-store psychologists like to refer to as the "inner child" - perked up a bit. "Hey, today is my birthday!" you thought.

Well no one fucking cares. That's why this email is automated. It's completely impersonal just like every other relationship in your terrible, worthless, and now one-more-year past-it's-prime life.

So go ahead, eat your cake, play with your new iPod knockoff, try on your new fucking sweater while you add another notch on the social odometer of age that we use to validate your existence. You gonna go out and drink tonight? Shouldn't you put some of that money in savings? Fuck, you don't have many working years left, pal. The whole "Live Fast, Die Young" mentality doesn't fit into the picture so much anymore when you've got man-tits and you're putting Dr. Scholl's in your Crocs; your time to quit while you were ahead is over.

Anyhow, Happy Birthday.

Love,
Jesus Loves Doug Stanhope

Hudson River Plane Crash

IMG_1201
Originally uploaded by nyctravis

Amazing how quickly folk have their pictures of this accident up on Flickr. There are more photographs, being constantly updated, here. Or have a look at this photo on Twitter taken by a passenger on board the ferry that went over to rescue passengers.

Flickr user eddienyc has a great set of photographs of the rescue. This photograph by grego! is also pretty amazing.

Late night updates:


This is a photograph of Chesley B. "Sully" Sullenberger, III the pilot who steered the plane into the water, ensuring that there was no loss of life. Here is the article on him from Friday morning's Times.

This is The New York Times article on events.

Hudson River Plane Crash NYC
Originally uploaded by Amazin' Jane

From Flickr user Amazin Jane's photostream.

"Although the US Airways jet crashed into the Hudson River near the west 50's, they towed the airplane south and 'docked' it in near Battery Park and the World Financial Center. This is the wing sticking up over the height of the walkway."
Gothamist have reports, eye witness comments, photographs, videos, maps and everything else you could want on the story.

Here's Eddie Izzard's great bit on 'Bird strike'. And here's the wikipedia entry for it.

Odds and Sods

So far we've spent this year on 'Pish trying to punt our wares to you all. And it ain't stopping yet. While you still have three days left to listen to The Magic Glue, the Glasgow Comedy Festival programme has just been announced. That's right your good muckers Tom and Fraser are in there.

Join us at the Ramshorn Theatre on Tuesday 24th March for Odds and Sods, a rehearsed reading of our new play. It's a mere four quid and should surely be a hoot. More details nearer the time.

Glue on the IPlayer

I'm assuming no more than a few folk stayed up to after midnight to hear our show.

Here's how to listen to it at a more Godly hour.

I'm very pleased with how it sounded and listened to some of the other Zone stuff before hitting the hay and despite blithering a lot of fairly incoherent rubbish about Armando Iannucci at one point, I think we can off no' too bad. Who knew Tom had a posh telephone voice eh? :)

I know Tom said in his earlier post to head along to The Comedy Zone Site to listen to the show, but that seems from my experience to play the whole 330min(!) Zone on a constant loop, so if it's our show you want to hear, I'd recommend using the Iplayer instead.

The Magic Glue on the Radio From Tonight

Head along to the Comedy Zone from half midnight tonight until next Friday (16th) night and listen to our sketch show The Magic Glue. You can also hear Fraser and I blethering about Glue and comedy.

And Now, News of the Inevitable Cock-Up...

Hiya. Of course its us, so there's been some last minute Glue shenanigans. Nothing to do with us really but it all still somehow serves to make your tubby muckers Fizzy and T Bone look like right plums.

Our radio pilot "The Magic Glue" has been taken out of it's 11.30 am slot scheduled for Friday 9th January and as far as we're aware its also not going to be on as advertised in the 8.30pm repeat slot on Saturday 10th. No news on why or even if it will be rescheduled as yet.

The show WILL STILL BE ON (we're told...) in the Comedy Zone at half past midnight Friday Night/Saturday Morning and should be available on the BBC IPlayer and its listen again online facility thereafter.

So, it's a big hello to all you truckers out there...

Glue on the Radio

The wait is finally at an end. The Magic Glue, our radio pilot, is on Radio Scotland (92.4 - 94.7 FM and 810 MW) this Friday 9th January at 11.30am. Yes, that's right Friday MORNING. I've already had a few folk asking if I meant PM. I don't, I mean 11.30AM.

That is not the only time you can hear the show however. You can also hear it repeated at 8.30pm the following day, Saturday the 10th.

But you don't have to listen to it on the radio. You can also hear it online. It's repeated as part of The Comedy Zone at 00.30am that night. This show is available online for a week afterwards. The Comedy Zone is about five hours long, but The Magic Glue should be right at the start of it. The rest of the shows in the section have been selected based on suggestions by Fraser and I. Plus we'll be presenting it, so even more chances to hear our voices on the radio.

You can listen to the show on digital radio, through freeview on your telly and probably for a week afterwards on the iplayer. The many ways to listen to Radio Scotland can be found at this link.

There's a Facebook event thing that you can add your 'attendance' and comments to if you're on Facebook.

We were delighted with the recording itself and we're pretty happy with the edit of the show. So we'll just sit back and see how it's received or not by the public at large.

Tom's Films of 2008

It's time for my annual round up of movies I've seen over the year.

1. Gone Baby Gone

My number one film of the year should really have been released in the UK in 2007. However, due to the Madeline McCann case its release was delayed by more than 6 months. Directed by Ben Affleck and based on the novel by Dennis Lehane the film follows two private detectives as they join the search for a missing girl.

Casey Affleck was excellent in The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford, but for my money this is a career best performance. Amy Ryan is also wonderful as the mother.

The film poses many questions along the road and the ending really blew me away. Perhaps Ben should chuck the acting in and stick to directing in future.

2. The Dark Knight

A rollercoaster from start to finish. Heath Ledger deserves every posthumous honour going for his outstanding performance. It played like a real horror movie and even although Ledger was by far the stand out the rest of the heavyweight acting talent Bale, Oldman and Eckhart were all on form too.

3. Man on Wire

The year's best documentary. The film looks at Philippe Petit's 1974 high-wire walk between the Twin Towers of the World Trade Center. Although there's no actual footage of the event the intensity of the film and the stills on show mean you don't even notice. Like all great documentaries looking at an individual, Petit is a complex character and even although he's likeable for the most part you're left wondering if he wasn't actually a bit of a dick.

4. Lars and the Real Girl

Ryan Gosling turns in a wonderful performance as a shy man in love with a blow up doll. It seems odd but it's a film that has real heart and depth.

5. Step Brothers

The funniest film of the year. Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly are 40 year olds who have been living the life of perrenial 13 year olds in their respective single parent families. Until that is their parents fall in love and they all move in together. The step brothers relationship is one hilarity after another. The bunk bed scene I could see coming from nine miles away, but I still laughed like a drain when it happened.

6. Juno

A smart, witty script and some crackling performances from Ellen Page and Michael Cera as well as great supprt from Jason Bateman, Jennifer Garner, JK Simmons and Allison Janey.

7. No Country For Old Men

Totally gripping throughout. Classic Coen Brothers. Well paced, stunning performances from Javier Bardem and Josh Brolin and a solid supporting cast. I was a little let down by the last 20 minutes or so but I loved it nonetheless.

8. There Will Be Blood

A powerhouse of a performance from Daniel Day Lewis, fantastic direction from Paul Thomas Anderson and a great score from Jonny Greenwood. A lot of people have found fault with the last 20 minutes, but I really didn't see anything wrong with it.

9. Pineapple Express

'Thug Life'. James Franco seemed to steal this one for most people but for me it was Danny McBride who put in the star turn. A great drug buddy comedy from the pens of last year's Superbad scribes Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg.

10. Let the Right One In

This Swedish romantic horror film is in turns sweet and sinister. A boy, bullied at school falls for the little girl next door who happens to be a vampire. The performances, cinematography and direction are all first class. There are several really shocking moments and it's a film that stays with you long after it has ended. There is of course an American remake currently in development. Cloverfield director Matt Reeves is directing and also adapting the source novel from scratch.

11. In Bruges

This tale of Irish hitmen laying low in Belgium really hit the mark. Colin Farrell, Brendan Gleeson and Ralph Fiennes all give performances that hold your attention throughout. Here's an article from the BBC on how the film transformed the tourist industry in Bruges.

12. Burn After Reading

The second Coen Brothers film on my list. This one seemed to get dismissed by a lot of people as 'not being about anything'. It's not as heavyweight as No Country.. or as engaging as Fargo, but it's a solid comedy thriller with fantastic turns from Brad Pitt, George Clooney and Frances McDormand. Richard Jenkins also provides a lovely line in pathos in his role as the lovesick fitness centre manager. Nice also to see David 'Sledge Hammer' Rasche in a movie role.

13. Charlie Wilson’s War

Directed by Mike Nichols, written by Aaron Sorkin, and starring Tom Hanks, Julia Roberts and the mighty Philip Seymour Hoffman. How could you go wrong?

14. The Savages

Philip Seymour Hoffman again, this time with Laura Linney as brother and sister trying to care for their ailing father. Two of the best actors in the business and a warm and funny script.

15. Iron Man

Robert Downey Jr. is at his best here as Tony Stark/Iron Man. There is a good supporting cast but it's the style and swagger of Downey Jr. that walks away with the movie.

16. Tropic Thunder

"Never go full retard." Robert Downey Jr. once again alongside Ben Stiller, Jack Black and a ridiculous Tom Cruise. This turned out to be controversial, although I couldn't really see what all the fuss was about. A solid comedy with a starry cast.

17. The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas

Mark Herman serves up an understated gem. Based on the novel by John Boyne it centres around the 8 year old son of a Nazi officer and the boy he befriends in a concentration camp. This is an article from the BBC on the film's suitability for children.

18. Somers Town

Directed by Shane Meadows this tells the story of two teenage boys out of place in London. It's an enjoyable tale, by turns happy and sad.

19. Son of Rambow

An amusing British film as two boys attempt to make their own version of Rambo. The dialogue always seems like it's been written rather than actually coming from the children, but that's a minor complaint for an enjoyable film.

20. Cloverfield

An enjoyable monster-runs-wild-through-New York romp.


As for stinkers, well there were a few of those too, but the two that really stood out for me are below.

88 Minutes was one of the worst things you’re likely to see at the cinema this or any other year with Al Pacino apparently playing a grown up Ralph Wiggum in a Simpsons live action murder mystery. Righteous Kill was arguably worse because it sullied the reputations of both Pacino and Robert De Niro.

Feel free to stick your own films of the year in the comments.

Tom's Films of 2007

Tom's Films of 2006

Tom's Films of 2005

Tom's Films of 2004

Musical Inspiration

This is a good article from last Saturday's Guardian about people who were the inspiration for famous songs. Down below is one of those songs.

Stereolab Live

I went to see Stereolab at Oran Mor last night. They were excellent. They played a really lively and upbeat set. Although their show was in support of their new album 'Chemical Chords', the songs that got the biggest reaction from the crowd were 'Ping Pong' (from 1994) and 'French Disko' (from 1993).

Singer Lætitia Sadier was probably even more gorgeous than I remember her from the band's heyday. Support act The Week That Was were also very good. Their self titled album has been featuring in many websites' best of the year lists.

More photos here. Down below is some footage of them playing Paris last month.

Down the Wing's Old Firm Week

It's Old Firm week at my football blog Down the Wing. On Saturday I went to Ibrox to see Rangers demolish Hamilton Accies, after an early scare. Last night I was at Celtic Park to watch Celtic take on Villareal in the Champions League.

I'm now only 30 games short of my 50 game target.

Kids' Interview on TSOYA

Dave Foley and Kevin McDonald from Kids in the Hall are interviewed by Jesse Thorn for the Sound of Young America at this link. Their chat covers the group's early days as well as their recent tour.

Seinfeld Meets Steinberg

Jerry Seinfeld interviewed by David Steinberg in the LA Times.

"When you’re in comedy, people always come up and say, “Oh, it must be so hard.” It really isn’t hard unless you’re not good at it. If you can do it, it’s really kind of fun and easy."

New Kids TV Details

Dave Foley provides some more details on the Kids in the Hall's new TV series 'Death Comes to Town' in this interview.

Brand Hammers Hitler

Russell Brand points out in his Guardian column that he has been named the second worst celebrity football fan in history - behind Adolf Hitler.

"It is however somewhat surprising to see the Führer described as a celebrity as I'd always seen him as more of a fascist dictator but, as you know, a good many papers in England believe that to be a position worthy of celebration."

A Winter Wonderland

I'm surprised the plums who organised this theme park didn't get some comedians on board to provide the entertainment. It sounds just the kind of half-arsed scam that comics would end up playing.

Carbona Not Glue

I can't make it, but I wish I could, this Saturday night Scotland's finest Ramones tribute act Carbona Not Glue play Henry's Cellar Bar in Edinburgh.

Down below you can see them perform 'The KKK Took My Baby Away'. There are more videos and audio on their website.