Thursday 31 August 2006

Glenn Ford 1916-2006


Hollywood legend Glenn Ford has died at the age of 90.

An acting career spanning 60 years began in the theatre, moving into films in 1939. He signed up for the US Marine Corps in 1942. After the War his career had a big breakthrough with the classic film Gilda.

He also appeared in The Big Heat, Blackboard Jungle and Superman among many others. He won a Golden Globe Award as Best Actor in 1962 for his performance in Frank Capra's Pocketful of Miracles.

Born in Sainte-Christine, Portneuf, Quebec, Canada, though a naturalised American since 1939, his career achievements were recognized with the French Legion of Honor in 1989.

Retiring in 1991 he concentrated on his hobby of collecting salt and pepper shakers.

Read Tom

As some of you may know I have a couple of new articles up on State of the Game. Also if you pick up the latest issue of The Skinny magazine (which like me you can do by popping into Nice N Sleazy, or one of the many pubs in town who have it) you can read a review of an unsigned bands night that I wrote. There was no photographer with me, so I took a load of pics myself and one of my photographs accompanies the review.

Wednesday 30 August 2006

Levine on Seinfeld

Have a look at Ken Levine’s site for his thoughts on Seinfeld. What I didn’t know was that NBC originally commissioned Jerry to do a sitcom because they saw him as the successor to Johnny Carson and wanted to keep him sweet until Johnny retired.

And while we're at it here's Jerry being interviewed by David Letterman.

Monday 28 August 2006

No to Coke Adverts

I'm pretty appauled that Grandaddy have chosen to have their music used in a Coca-Cola advert. But anyway here's the great wee video for Nature Anthem.

Wednesday 23 August 2006

Can't Stand It


I had another stand-up gig last night. My third in less than a week, which is pretty prolific for me. I left for The Stand later than I should have, realised that I’d be late if I walked the whole way, so waited on a bus. Which obviously didn’t show up. So I got a taxi.

As I got to the venue I discovered they were looking for me as I was on first. I was pretty relieved about that to be honest, cos I wasn’t looking forward to hanging around.

My stuff went down well at the beginning and less so as my set progressed. This is probably because the first half of my set is all worked out, since I’ve been doing it about three years. The second half is a lot less refined with a lot of half worked out ideas and bits I’m not that enthused by.

I stayed to watch the next guy on and then left. Meaning I was in The Stand for less than half an hour. This is a pretty good indication of how much of a chore stand-up seems to be for me. I can’t think of a gig I’ve actually looked forward to, though I have enjoyed a few while doing them. Saturday’s gig at Kill the Monster in Edinburgh was one of these.

I think between now and my next gig I’ll have to sit down and write some new stand-up stuff. I’ve not really written any for a good, long time. I’m getting a bit fed up trotting out the same stuff, although the gold about pie crusts always seems to go down quite well. Maybe if I came up with some new stuff I would have some renewed enthusiasm for stand-up. So, if anyone has any suggestions for what new stuff I could write about, feel free to leave a comment.

Thursday 17 August 2006

Trans Canada Highway


A bunch of us from work went up to Edinburgh last night to see Tom in the play Trans Canada Highway. It’s been getting a slating in the press of late with the Scotsman listing it as one of the top 3 shows to avoid at the Festival.

And with good cause. Even a man of Tom’s comedy skills barely managed to lift this beyond soul destroying.

The show basically involves Victoria, a pretty Australian lassie reminiscing about creeps who have given her lifts.

The premise of the show seems to be – “Isn’t it awful that we pretty lassies have to deal with ugly creeps?”

Someone should really tell Victoria (the writer and main performer) that judging people on their looks and assuming it’s a given that everyone thinks she’s a ride are character flaws, not the basis of a hit play.

Had there been any self deprecation at all, it may have been a diverting if unoriginal look at sexual politics or even about the struggle we all seem to have with communicating with one another.

But sadly the play such as it was came over more like an arrogant diary entry along the lines of “How dare these ugly bastards even try it on with me? I’m gorgeous! Can’t they see that?”

Tom battled manfully with his various parts and amused as a ridiculously overblown French stereotype but the other two performers pretty much failed to show up for me.

Victoria as I understand it never intended to be in it so the wisdom of her carrying the bulk of the show is questionable to say the least – she had the odd funny line, but just didn’t have the timing required to deliver it. The other guy in it wasn’t up to much either, and seemed to struggle with his lines.

All in all very bad, but you have to give this lassie some credit for at least having the guts to get up there.

The only consolation is that I’ve seen acclaimed productions of much more celebrated shows that haven’t been a lot better.

After the show of course I was completely unable to be honest with the lassie when she asked my opinion. Graeme had no such foibles, which was quite funny.

Some nice folk gave me a beer and chatted to me on the way home, so all’s well that ends well.

Wednesday 16 August 2006

Pimp That Snack


And after the sad news, something to cheer you up hopefully.

Look out in particular for the giant happy face.

Bruno Kirby


Bruno Kirby has died aged 57, which is a shame.

I guess Tom and I enjoyed his appearance in Spinal Tap the most - the outtakes of him in his pants terrifying the band with his renditions of Sinatra classics after one puff of a doobie are hilarious and perfectly illustrate the talent of a great comic actor who also carried that essential touch of menace.

He's probably best known for his roles in When Harry Met Sally, Good Morning Vietnam and City Slickers.

Tuesday 15 August 2006

Stanhope at the Stand


The ‘pish boys were down at the Stand last night to see the best jobbing comic around, Doug Stanhope.

Tommy, Ronnie and Claire were also there as were most of the Glasgow comedy glitterati.

He was ably (sort of) supported by his friend Sean Rouse in spite of the fact that the various medicines Rouse is on impaired his concentration towards the end.

Rouse suffers from a number of serious illnesses, exacerbated by his drink and drugs lifestyle but delivered a course but funny set taking the large crowd with him for the most part.

Stanhope himself was in pretty rough shape, but delivered a hilarious set nonetheless.

My favourite bits were his stuff on nationalism, boredom and paedophilia – not least because the latter part was interrupted by a guy who proudly proclaimed he’d viewed kiddie porn “hunners of times”.

His best stuff is usually about the lunacy of working for a living and he hit the mark there as well, pointing out that one shouldn’t really take mood enhancing drugs to make your work bearable – your brain is telling you its bored and you should just quit. Prophetic words for me and Tom.

You got the feeling that he was coasting a little, or maybe that age and the effects of chronic alcohol abuse were taking their toll. Didn’t really matter though, he still wipes the floor with just about everyone else.

After the show we had a drink with “Big” Scott Agnew chatting about comedy, acts we hated, who owed us money etc.

Seven quid well spend by anyone’s standards. Will Big T's show offer the same tremendous value?

Friday 11 August 2006

Chick The Dick


We here at 'pish have very little time for Scotland's "favourite" football pundit Chick Young.

If you feel the same way, you'll enjoy this unbroadcast interview with Walter Smith from, I think, 1993. The Scotland manager, then in charge of Rangers of course, takes issue with Chick's line of questioning with "hilarious results". Enjoy.

This isn't what I would consider "work appropriate" by the way. Ho ho!

Wednesday 9 August 2006

Give Me Liberty Or Give Me Death

It’s never anything less than depressing when you see headlines like
this.

Once again, our Government’s inability to keep us safe within the law of the land is there for all to see and instead of being embarrassed about that, John Reid has again argued for the end of freedom as we know it.

He asks “What price freedom?” – I think it’s hilarious that he needs to ask.

The argument itself is absurd. Reid suggests that we should “modify” our freedoms to defeat those who seek to fundamentally change them. Eh? I congratulate a stance that at once seeks to defeat and pander to terrorists all at the same time – a tough one to pull off.

And even if Reid and his cohorts are well intentioned, what are the chances of these “modifications” ever being removed if enacted?

Given that the current climate of fear, perpetuated by the cowards we have placed in charge of us, almost guarantees a population who will remain docile in the face of incremental moves further and further towards totalitarianism, when can we reasonably expect these freedoms back?

I would guess never. When you are “fighting” an imagined concept and not a real entity, you can be pretty open ended on when you wrap things up.

This Government’s obsession with old-labour protectionism coupled with their failure to get anything on UK citizens intent on doing others harm are making Blair’s labour party THE biggest danger to the fundamental freedoms we enjoy in the country I can recall having ever existed in my lifetime.

They have poisoned the well of serious debate with their boogie-man-under-the-bed fabrications and have cynically attempted to manipulate the nation into allowing them to change the rules in such a way that they no longer seem quite so utterly incompetent.

And all this before they threaten to fine you if you aren’t willing to be lined up and branded like cattle in their farcically expensive (for us, not them) ID card scheme.

I don’t know about everyone else, but I would rather die than live in a country where you can be interned without charge indefinitely. I would rather die than live in a country where people proved guilty of nothing can be held under indefinite house arrest. We are being asked to accept the transformation of the UK from a free society to Guantanamo Bay for anyone “suspected” of anything (and when does a “suspect” become anyone the Government isn’t too keen on?).

It pulls the rug from beneath the burden of proof authorities are duty bound to supply when it accuses one of its citizens and makes a mockery of a justice system that has been the model for free societies the world over.

Try harder John.

Tuesday 8 August 2006

On Bluesy Ground


For those of you not familiar with deep-down-in-the-bayou authentic blues, Steven Seagal brings his new album “Mojo Priest” to Glasgow's Renfrew Ferry on the 19th of September.

Tickets I am assured are still in plentiful supply for show which will feature his band “Thunderbox” (no, really).

If you want to hear Steven’s God-awful tosh you can at his website here.

Monday 7 August 2006

That's More Like It...

Tom and Tommy have been having a back and forth about protesting over the last week or so; a tiff I’ve wandered into from time to time.

While Tommy attests to a perfect right to protest whatever you want (something we don't disagree with) I generally agree with Tom that while protest is all well and good in and of itself, it’s better if it’s effective or if it at least annoys the people you’re protesting about.


That is why I found this a much better example of practical protest than the controversial and, some would say, utterly daft “cricket blockades”.

Sunday 6 August 2006

Best Of Luck To Big T

Tom takes up his thesbian duties at the Edinburgh Festival on Monday and despite ridiculing his efforts at every turn, I'm sure all the pish regulars would join me in passing on best wishes for the show.

Anyone fancy going to see it with me? I'm not set on a date to go through yet.

Saturday 5 August 2006

I'm Away to Edinburgh

As some of you may know I'm in a play at the Edinburgh Festival. I thought it might be a good thing to set up a seperate blog to record the stuff I see and do there. So the blog is called, and I was in a hurry when I came up with the name, Tom's Fringe 2006. I've also set up a new Flickr site where you can see any photos I take. The links are also on the left there.

I'll probably have limited access to the internet over the next two weeks so the updates will be sporadic.

So it's over to Fizzy to keep the regular 'Pish readers entertained.

Friday 4 August 2006

Quiz Shows to be Quizzed

I wrote a post on TV quiz shows a while ago, and how much I hate them (except for Debbie King). But it looks like the gambling regulator was reading as the Gambling Commission has launched a public consultation into such quizzes following complaints from viewers.

More Copies Than The Bible

You may remember seeing on the cover of Trainspotting the recommendation "The best book ever written by man or woman...deserves to sell more copies than the Bible." Well that was written by one Kevin Williamson, mucker of Irvine Welsh and editor of Rebel Inc.

Well, he has a blog and it’s quite entertaining.

Thursday 3 August 2006

Nude Beach

This is an unaired and somewhat controversial sketch from Saturday Night Live. This features Tom Hanks and Jon Lovitz.

Cowards on Radio 4

Well done to Cowards, (the only sketch show I'm prepared to big up, other than You Owe Me Glue) on landing a six part Radio 4 series. They're a very funny show and I'll try to catch them again in Edinburgh next week.

Trumpet Complaints

Armando Iannucci’s new series Time Trumpet has attracted complaints before it even begins at 10pm tonight. Go here for more.

It's Not Cricket

You may remember my post of last week where I questioned the Stop the War Coalition’s plans to protest the Israel-Jersey cricket match in Glasgow.

It seems that they have forced the cancellation of the game, scheduled for today.

Israel Cricket Association President Stanley Perlman told The Jerusalem Post late Wednesday night that his efforts to convince the Scottish Union to keep the fixture had failed.

Perlman said that Glasgow police had approved a Muslim demonstration at a Glasgow cricket club field for approximately 2,000 demonstrators, but that on Wednesday, Scottish cricket officials received anonymous telephone calls saying, according to Perlman, that the safety of the Israeli players at the ground could not be guaranteed.


I’m not saying it was the Stop the War Coalition who made the calls, cos who knows who made them, they’re anonymous eh, but they certainly stood on a platform in the town centre and rallied in order to have the game stopped.

The game has now been cancelled with both teams receiving one point in the group. There are of course two more games for these idiots to disrupt. All it seems to be doing is allowing the other sides in Israel’s group to progress through at their expense.

Cricket Scotland may also be hit by a huge fine.

I’m sure the protesters will see this as some sort of achievement, but perhaps you could think of better ways to stop the war than inconveniencing teams of cricketers, the residents of Glasgow and needlessly draining Strathclyde Police resources. Any ideas?

While I’m on the subject of the Middle East, (although really I was on the subject of bams) we had a comment last week from Gunpowder Monk. Gunpowder actually lives in Beirut and has a blog called beirut impromptu. Have a look at what’s he’s saying on the situation.

"Meanwhile, the US is still as slow as ever in pressing its Israeli allies to stop the barbaric assault on Lebanon. Last night was hell not only in Beirut, but also all over the country. Israeli war planes attacked areas in the south, north and center of the country. Yet again, the attacks seem to be simply for the sake of attacking."

Be warned though, some of the images may be upsetting.

Wednesday 2 August 2006

Kevin is Gay

For no real reason here’s the video for Giant Drag’s Kevin is Gay.

Rain, Rain and More Rain

Anyone else get caught in the mental rainstorm that hit Glasgow last night at about 5pm? The ‘Pish boys did. After getting soaked through from work to the bus stop we watched as a puddle grew to a river in the space of about 5 minutes.

Below are some photos taken at the bus stop and then a couple at Charing Cross.







Tuesday 1 August 2006

Where Have All the Rude Boys Gone?

After plundering Tommy’s DVD collection at the aforementioned party I was watching his Ted Leo DVD last night. Despite having heard the song hundreds of times it was only while watching the DVD that I realised that Where Have All the Rude Boys Gone? is about The Specials. It’s pretty obvious really.

I asked Jerry, he told Terry; Terry sang a song just for me
Lynvall gave a message to me
Rhoda screamed and then she asked me
"Where have all the rude boys gone?"


So below we have Ted Leo and the Pharmacists performing Where Have All the Rude Boys Gone followed by The Specials on The Old Grey Whistle Test from 1979 doing A Message to you Rudy. This is an article inspired by the song. And here’s a forum discussion about it, analysing the lyrics.