Tuesday 30 May 2006

Love Me Or I'll Boo You

With regard to Tom’s post about Mike Parry, the thing that struck me about the hysteria surround who Scots are supporting in the World Cup was “why has this not been so much of an issue before?”

Scots have always wished the England football team less than success so why is it an issue now?

I think it has to do with the war and the pervading sense that "Englishness" is under attack and also the fact that the English are having to face up to the idea that they are not generally liked as a people worldwide.

This, of course, is because "Englishness" tends to manifest itself as intolerance, a dismissive attitude towards other cultures and baseless self congratulation ("Rooney could be fit for the Semi-Finals..."). Why? Because the only people talking about “Englishness” and blustering about why they are not universally adored are bumptious personalities like John McCririck, Mike Parry and Jeremy Clarkson; walking admonishment for anyone in the anti England camp.

For me, the interesting point is that before these people didn’t care what people thought and now, everyone has to like them. There is a definite suggestion that Scots not backing England are being un-patriotic – no surprise really in a time of war. It’s plain to see those confused by attacks on a national character constantly in flux anyway retreating to the verbal trenches. We’re talking about people with a fixed and very outdated sense of what their nation and people represent.

So why should Scots back the English? The only true answer is because we get a lot out of British culture. In terms of football, I don’t know too many fans who restrict their preferences to the Scottish game. Most have an English team and most enjoy the glamour of the Premiership even as we realise its all a WWF style stage managed farce brought to us by a station owned by one of the worlds most evil men. It’s the same with music, fashion, food, TV etc.

Britons tend to get a lot culturally out of being British on a range of levels, but thanks to a loud minority of English twats who run and present the media, England (and white England to be more specific) appears to be dismissive of everyone else’s contribution.

Couple the attitude that no-one else counts with the delusional, creaking “green-and-pleasant-land -we-used-to-run-the-world” schtick most of the English media seem to have and its no wonder the rest of us don’t want them to win anything. It’s like wishing a materialist neighbour gets a new car and then comes round to tell you about it.

As for Andy Murray, he’s a wee rich kid playing an elitist middle to upper class sport whose publicist dreamed up a way to make him look like he was “down” with the Scottish people.

I could no more care who wins Wimbledon than I could Crufts or the Show Jumping.

NewsBeat

Also on the subject of radio I was listening to BBC 6Music on Sunday. In the newsbreak the whole bulletin was done with a dance beat in the background.

So this meant that I listened to the report of the deaths of more than 4000 people in the Indonesian earthquake to the strains of pounding beats. This is also the kind of thing that Scotsport do when they show football highlights to the sound of dance music. Cos of course that makes it more interesting eh? Pounding dance beats and football the perfect combination.

The idea that sport or news is funkier or more interesting or I don’t know what with music played over it is insane. I have no idea who thought this odd little trend up, but it’s about time they were told that they’re an idiot and a call centre job awaits them.

Are You Supporting England?

On radio station TalkSport on Sunday morning presenter Mike Parry was in a flap over comments by Scottish tennis player Andrew Murray. He had been sent a cutting from the Evening Times reporting Murray as saying “I will be supporting whoever is playing England in the World Cup. I am a true Scot”. This sent Parry apoplectic with rage.

He couldn’t understand why any Scot would not support England. He went on to suggest that the majority of Scots were petty and bitter and began to dislike England only after the film Braveheart was released. William Wallace was nothing but a drunken thief who got what he deserved added Parry.

He insisted that he will be supporting Murray’s opponents from now on and he would round up a mob to do likewise.

Some people phoned in and highlighted the reasons that Scottish people generally won’t be supporting England. Mainly the over the top media hype.

However Parry and his co-presenter welcomed every caller agreeing with them with open arms and dismissed anyone who offered a contrary view.

Their view was if you’re British then you must support England. “I would support Scotland,” said Parry. “That’s your choice,” he was correctly advised by one caller.

I couldn’t care less if English fans get behind Scotland, though I realise that they do, having watched a couple of Scotland games while down south.

“I’ll support anyone against England even if it’s in tiddlywinks,” one caller from Hamilton suggested.

Parry did take the odd sideswipe at Scottish players. Even although his team, Everton, have more Scots than any other side in the Premiership.

Here’s my view on it. First off Murray’s comments while they may have been true, would have been best kept to himself. The majority of Murray’s supporters at Wimbledon will be English. If England have a good run in the World Cup Murray could find himself the beneficiary of the swell of national pride.

Other than the World Cup the English public want a British Wimbledon winner and the thought of both happening in the same summer should put a large chunk of the public behind Murray or any other Brit doing well at Wimbledon. If Parry gets his way Murray will now be run out of Wimbledon on a rail. “I’m going to buy the national shirt of his opponent and wear it while booing him”.

I say this though pretty much from a PR point of view. Most of his fans will be English, I think it's a bit daft potentially alienating them. However he's quoted here in a Scottish newspaper, aimed at a Scottish market. I'm sure he'd be more diplomatic if speaking to the Daily Telegraph.

But back to Parry. He also referred to the majority of Scots being “Little Scotlanders”. I think this was a reference to xenophobic Englishmen being termed ‘Little Englanders’. I think the irony was missed on him.

I think I said this in Talking Pish’s Euro 2004 posts, but I don’t mind England doing well I just don’t want them to win it. I will of course in no way support them.

I don’t want to revel in any English defeat cos they got there and we didn’t.

My reasons were pretty much outlined by some of the callers to the show.

We are sick to death of the English media’s hyperbole with everything in connection to the national football team. “This is our best chance of winning the trophy” Yeah? You said that four years ago. Doubtless you’ll say it again in 4 years time.

We’ll hear how England were robbed and how they’re at least the best team in Europe when they get knocked out by South American opposition. Despite there still being other European sides in the competition.

And of course there is the perennial classic when the riots kick off and English fans magically morph into British.

I like a lot of their players and have always supported English teams in Europe. That mainly stems from every good English side being packed with Scots when I was growing up. However I'll still want all of them to do well in Europe.

I think it’s a ludicrous notion that Scottish people are forced to call in to a radio show to justify why they won’t be supporting their biggest rivals.

I’m sure English fans would feel the same if their media were run with a Scottish bias.

Friday 26 May 2006

One Neck Exhibits

One Neck will be joining the likes of Krisis, Derm, Carrie Goldsmith, Elph, Matt Pattison (aka Culprit Art), Gregor Louden, Rue Five and a few others to be announced in a new exhibition, "Rouge". The show runs from the 5th June at Flesh Design, 7 Barclay Terrace, Edinburgh. For more info contact rougeshow@googlemail.com.

Thursday 25 May 2006

The 6th of June 2006 – Anti-Christmas


It will soon be the 6th of the 6th of the 6th, a perfect day to proclaim the coming of the Anti-Christmas. While several heavy metal bands and the marketing bods behind the new “Omen” picture try to use this un-sacred day to sell you stuff, those among us with a little of the devil in them will be anxious to hear the required traditions of the non-holiday that un-comes but once a century.

On Anti-Christmas eve, Mother Anti-Christmas comes and takes toys away from good children.

Bad children will be rewarded.

We are each required to send the Queen a personal video message.

Instead of taking a tree and putting it in your window, you will take a window and stick it up a tree. Alternatively, you can erect your tree upside down, suffocating the angel.

Instead of carollers coming round to people’s houses and singing songs, ordinary people will turn up on the doorsteps of carollers and refuse to do anything whatsoever.

Families will go to great lengths to be apart, sometimes flying thousands of miles. They will then engage in a process of returning items not even given to them by other family members.

The spirit of the season will be bad will to all men.

Anti Christmas dinner is a Pepperami and a coke.

Anti Christmas television will be virtually the same slop bucket of crap you get at Christmas. Evil.


Any other suggestions? This is your holiday too you know…

Comics Online

Here’s an article from The Wall Street Journal. It discusses the increased use of the internet by comedians as a promotional tool. There’s a link to a couple of clips.

A Bit Gutted, But We'll Be Back

What a shame we had to cancel the show this week due to renovation work at the venue.

It’s kind of an unwritten rule that you NEVER cancel a show, just in case it’s the one some philanthropic impresario decides to attend, but we were faced with less than a week to find a new venue or the prospect of having a procession of folk clattering several doors on the way to the bog during the entirety of our performance. We couldn’t pull it off for once.

No-one at Blackfriars was saying it, but they didn’t want us to go ahead either – a bit rich after they blackmailed us into performing in February despite the venue being a dangerous building site at the time.

But no matter. We will be back in June, hopefully with the full cast and crew for a spectacular, un-curtailed show.

If half the people show up who said they were coming this time (once they knew it was cancelled mind you …), it should be a quadruple sell out.

Looking forward to turning folk away in their droves come June 30th then.

Among the fun ironies surrounding this of course is that me and Tom now own T-shirts advertising a show that will never happen, and we got our best bit of pre-show press ever via the London Times.

Wednesday 24 May 2006

You Owe Me Glue is Cancelled

Lovers of side splitting sketch comedy cry tears as You Owe Me Glue has been cancelled for this month. We couldn't find an alternative venue at such short notice, so we had no option but to pull the show.

We'd really rather have done the gig, but it would have been in cramped, uncomfortable and distracting conditions, so there was no workable solution in the timescale.

We'll be back on Friday the 30th of June.

Gotcha Graudian


While reading an article in the Guardians laughably monikered “Knowledge” football “facts” section, I was moved to email them on the several factual inaccuracies contained therein regarding my club, Rangers.

Here’s what I wrote:

“Not for the first time, some factual inaccuracies have cropped up on your football site, as they often do in regard to Scottish football.

From The Knowledge, 24th May:


“…but to beat that we need to find an uncompetitive league, dominated by a single club for the best part of a decade, where loyalty is an important quality. That'll be Scotland then, where Andy Goram should come close to the top of the pile with nine in a row between 1989 and 1997." Close, Steve, but no cigar. Allen Elvin adds Richard Gough to that Glasgow-based list, while also pointing out that Ally McCoist bagged a winners' medal in 1987, giving him a grand total of 10.”

Andy Goram joined Rangers in 1991, winning 5 titles with the club.

Richard Gough won a total of 10 league medals, 9 with Rangers and 1 with Dundee Utd.

Ally McCoist won a total of 8 championship medals with Rangers, not 10 due to injury and non-selection.

The man you are looking for is of course Ian Ferguson, who won 10 championships with Rangers between 1988 and 2000.

Now I know you are getting much of this info from the general public but these facts are easily checkable on the clubs official website. The Knowledge? Really?

Regards,

Fraser Campbell”

The Guardian have a sickening habit of getting simply checked facts wrong, especially when their sports coverage ventures north of the border.

They did amend the piece to include the info I’d given them (click the picture), but, true to form, the website that once described Finnish International Jonatan Johannson as “Swedish”, manage to keep in a mistake about Ally’s McCoist’s medal tally further down the page.

Brian Jonestown Massacre @ ABC

If you’ve seen the film Dig! you’ll know how unpredictable The Brian Jonestown Massacre can be. This is why they perhaps surprised me when I went to see them at the ABC last night.

Playing for 2 hours they were a tight, rocking band. Although they did spend time between songs arguing about what to play next they were nothing less than terrific all throughout.

With six people on stage they had a big sound that really filled the room. I say six people on stage but Joel Gion is more like a mascot than a band member. He shook tambourines, occasional maracas and sang backing vocals (“woo”) on one song. In the film he’s shown leaving the band and he went on to set up his own group, The Dilettanetes. I can’t find anything on why or when he returned but I’m sure the bigger tour on the back of the movie must have had something to do with it.

He took centre stage as singer/guitarist Anton Newcombe preferred to stand off to the left. A slightly odd set up, but most people were entertained by Joel’s girlish tambourine playing. “Stop mincing about,” one guy shouted amid the cheers that greeted his entrance.

Although I only knew a few of their songs I really enjoyed the show. I would assume the majority of the people there went on the back of Dig!, really that’s why we were there too. I think originally they had been booked to play the much smaller ABC2 but they just about filled the 1250 capacity main room.

It’s a long time since I’ve seen a fight at a concert, but last night provided your classic down the front ruck. Though I think it was mainly due to two siezeable bouncers hauling a guy out of the crowd.

Here’s a feature on Gion.

The photographs below aren’t that great, the lighting in the venue didn’t really aid my camera.






Monday 22 May 2006

The Curse of Glue

The Glue rollercoaster ride continues. It now looks like Friday’s show is in doubt. Blackfriars are once again undergoing renovation work. This time it’s the street level toilets that are being renovated. While this goes on their patrons will have to use the facilities downstairs. This would then mean that we’d have the whole pub, at various times, walk through our show.

So the alternatives are…um….

The show may get moved to Bluu, just down the street. Or it may be cancelled. We should know for sure later today.

Sunday 21 May 2006

The Wrong Guy

Last night I watched the film The Wrong Guy. Made in 1997 it stars Dave Foley as a man who wrongly believes he's wanted for the murder of his boss. Directed by David Steinberg, the film was written by Kid in the Hall Foley, David Higgins of Ellen & Malcolm in the Middle, and Simpsons writer Jay Kogen.

It shows a lot of Simpsons style touches as well as some moments reminiscent of Airplane.

Higgins plays a detective reluctantly on Foley's trail. The only time he gets interested in the case is when he discovers the FBI will offer him unlimited resources.

A spoof on a Hitchcock thriller, the opening titles are very impressive and reminscent of Hitchock's frequent collaborator Saul Bass. There used to be an excellent Bass site, but the domain for it has expired.

If you can find The Wrong Guy on DVD it's well worth seeing. There are plenty of laughs throughout, the script is really strong and Foley is an excellent comedic actor.

Saturday 20 May 2006

In at Number 5

If you happened to buy The Times today, look in The Knowledge. In the comedy section You Owe Me Glue is listed at number 5 in the Top Five Comedy feature.

Or just look to your right.

Barry Cryer & Ronnie Golden are at number one. Karen Dunbar is number two.

So if The Times is saying it's good...

You Owe Me Glue on MySpace

An already cluttered internet has just become more crowded. You Owe Me Glue now has a MySpace page. You can find us at www.myspace.com/youowemeglue.

Not only can you see photographs of your favourite cast members but you can also listen to some audio sketches, including the infamous 'The Extra Mile'. It's not immediately apparent that there is more than one clip there though. Just click on the arrow under the small photograph to get the next sketch.

So what are you waiting for? Head on over there and get ready to laugh.

The Russian War

This is a short clip from Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn, a comedy discussion programme. Denis Leary gets taken apart by comic Greg Giraldo. The look on Leary's face after he gets shot down is priceless. He completely fails to offer any kind of comeback and Quinn has to step in to spare his blushes. It's pretty funny.

Personally I quite like Denis Leary but he's not nearly as relevant a comedian as he thinks he is. I prefer him more as an actor. Though as an actor he's pretty one note.

Friday 19 May 2006

Make Scott a Lady

Scott Agnew stars in this short film about a man wishing a sex change. It lasts about 8 minutes.

In my opinion it would have been a much better film had the final 90 seconds or so been the main focus. By that's just my opinion.

Once in a Lifetime

The documentary Once in a Lifetime charts the rags to riches to rags again rollercoaster ride of the New York Cosmos.

The team were no more than a parks side when Steve Ross head of Warner Communication got involved. He decided to go out and buy the best player in the world no matter what the cost.

So Pele arrived in New York and slowly the team who played on grass and dirt became the biggest superstars in America.

There is a clear villain in the story. Italian forward Giorgio Chinaglia. A man so arrogant he thought nothing of telling Pele to 'stay out wide'. Chinaglia takes the blame from most people for ending the wild ride of the Cosmos. Though he tells a different story.

It's quite an engaging tale. There are lots of different viewpoints, all the surviving major players provide their recollections. Well, all except Pele.

One of the more interesting characters in the story is goalkeeper Shep Messing. A man who looked more like a porn star than a footballer.

Here's an article from last year on the accompanying book from The Guardian.

This is an excellent site for NY Cosmos facts.

This Channel 4 site provides a very good insight into Chinaglia's Italian career.

The New Pornographers @ ABC2

I saw The New Pornographers at the ABC2 last night.

They were more than ably supported by Mates of State. A husband and wife duo from San Francisco they played for almost an hour and seemed to impress most of the crowd with their keyboard and drums style of rocking.

I’d heard a few of their songs before, but nothing really stuck with me. That’s changed now as they played a really solid set.

I felt that this show was much better than the last time TNP played here in December. The sound was much better as they made more use of the stage. There was one member less this time as keyboard player Blaine Thurier was missing.

Although I’m still disappointed that Neko Case doesn’t seem to tour with the band anymore, I have warmed to Kathryn Calder, who sang and played all the keyboard parts on her own last night.

The highlights for me were Only Divine Right, Miss Teen Word Power, My Slow Descent into Alcoholism, set closer Sing Me Spanish Techno and the final encore Letter from an Occupant. Picking out highlights though isn’t all that necessary as it was a really strong performance with not a weak song all night.

It’s nice to get to see them again in such a small venue. They still seem to be something of an obscure band in the UK at least. They gave out earplugs to audience members in the front row, so concerned were they that they were loud.

Below are a number of photographs. The first few are of Mates of State. The rest alternate between Kathryn Calder and TNP main man Carl Newman.

Tommy also has a review up.



















Sydney Signing?

This is an interesting wee football story. Terry Butcher’s new side Sydney FC are apparently looking to buy Italian striker Christian Vieri.

Although Italian by birth Vieri grew up in Sydney and apparently according to his Bessie mate, would relish the opportunity to finish his career there.

The other interesting thing in the story for me is that So I Married an Axe Murderer star Anthony La Paglia is on the board at Sydney and may finance the move.

Glue T-Shirts

Yes here it is the first You Owe Me Glue T-shirt. We couldn’t afford models of the calibre Ronnie talks about here, so instead it’s Glue’s very own Fizz modelling this fine T.

If anyone does actually want one let us know and we can go and get some more made.

Thursday 18 May 2006

It's All About the Man in the Middle

The Champions’ League Final actually ended the way I had predicted before kick-off, with a 2-1 Barcelona victory.

The talk this morning however is all about the referee. We all know that the best referees are the ones no one notices. Last night’s match was shaping up into an excellent contest, until that moment in the18th minute.

Arsenal keeper Jens Lehman hauled down Barcelona’s Samuel Eto’o just outside the penalty box.

Had Terje Hauge, the Norwegian whistler (© Daily Record) allowed play to continue Guily would have put Barcelona one – nil up. Both teams would have had a full compliment of players and no one would have complained.

The rules to the letter of the law state that a foul of the kind committed by Lehman means he has to receive a red card. Though the common sense decision would have been to play on and allow Barca to knock the ball into an empty net.

Playing the advantage is an option open to referees and the better ones tend to take it.

In order to put their substitute keeper on Arsenal of course had to substitute an outfield player, in this case French midfielder Robert Pires.

This incident robbed us all of what was shaping up to be a cracking match.

A similar incident happened in the semi-final of last year where Petr Cech was the keeper involved. On that occasion play was allowed to continue and Liverpool scored. Although Jose Mourinhio has whinged about that particular goal ever since.

On talkSPORT this morning they commented that Thierry Heny didn’t have the best of matches as he didn’t see much of the ball. The Frenchman actually had an excellent game under the circumstances. Henry started the match brightly and chased after every ball. When Arsenal had to reshuffle after the red card he was never going to have as much of the ball as he should, one of the very reasons the game was spoiled as a spectacle. Then in the second half he was booked after making a perfectly fair tackle. As Henry himself said the booking then had an effect on the way he could commit to challenges for the rest of the game.

The referee also handed out a pointless booking to Henrik Larsson in the final minute as he jostled Almunia in a bid to waste time. The sensible thing to do would just have been to wave play on as the Arsenal keeper had plenty of room to get the ball upfield. Instead the ref blew for a free kick and booked the Barca player. Larsson wasn’t bothered. 25 of the last 60 seconds wasted.

I don’t think the ref in any way wanted Barcelona to win, I just think he wasn’t up to it. No stranger to controversy he was previously the subject of death threats from Chelsea fans. Never trusts refs who spend too much time on their hair, they'll think they're the main attraction.

As for the game itself it was a decent show despite the ref’s best efforts. Arsenal just couldn’t hang on to their lead and after the equaliser there was only one team going to win it.

Although I wanted the Gunners to win I was happy to see ex-Celt Larsson play a major part and pick up a winner’s medal. He was the difference between the two sides creating both goals.

UPDATE: Our Norwegian whistler is now beginning to regret his red card decision.

Get Arrested for the Last Time

The third (and final) season of Arrested Development is almost here. It will be released on Region One on August the 29th.

Have a look at the cover art here and go pre-order from Amazon here.

Tuesday 16 May 2006

The Devil and Daniel Johnston

Over the weekend I saw The Devil and Daniel Johnston, a documentary about the musician and artist Daniel Johnston. It was a very funny, touching and sometimes sad story about a very gifted guy who has battled with mental illness.

The documentary is presented in chronological fashion and doesn’t assume that you already know much about him. Which most people don’t.

The film begins with Daniel’s precocious upbringing when the seeds of his creativity were growing. It features many of his early home movies, which were quite sophisticated for the time. This being the early 80s. They are also pretty funny.

It features interviews with all the people who were close to him and saw his career develop and fall apart first hand. We also see some of his early performances.

What comes across is that his song writing is brilliant, even if his singing, piano and guitar playing aren’t. He’s also very prolific.

My favourite bits were his manager being compared to Broadway Danny Rose and the family album…This is a photo of Daniel being taken away by the cops…this is him being wheeled into hospital.

The movie’s website is packed with a lot of interesting stuff.

Monday 15 May 2006

New Hoose


A good few months of upheaval came to a (sort of) end for me on Friday when I moved into my plush new Falkirk gaff.

It’s taking a bit of getting used to.

We haven’t really had an upstairs before, so every time my wife gets up for the loo, I totally shite myself before remembering where I am and that, no, someone is not trying to break in via the loft.

Also, we now have a front and back door, which is freaking me out a bit as well, for no good reason.

We’ll all get used to it, as it’s a great place in what seems like a nice bit of the town. That’s the other really freaky bit about the place. You wake up in the morning to hear birds singing and FUCK ALL else.

Getting up and going to work this morning reminded me of the start of “28 Days Later”. I never saw another soul until I was down at the main road.

Will the family and I enjoy suburban bliss or have I moved to the Stepford Estate, where your neighbours tut if you don’t show up at the neighbourhood watch meetings?

I’ll keep you posted, if and when I can be arsed.

Friday 12 May 2006

Musical Plugs

Two brief musical plugs. I’ve been listening a lot to both Rhett Miller and Regina Spektor recently.

Miller is a traditional rock ‘n’ roller and shares some musical style with his pal Ben Kweller.

Regina Spektor you may know slightly from being the woman behind the music in the cinema ads for Sky Sports. You know the one with the mad skateboarding out in the desert. Her great song Us plays over that. I know this may not seem like much of a recommendation, but she sounds a bit like a kookier Tori Amos.

They’re both worth a listen.

Find a Friend with You Owe Me Glue

There’s not many heart warming tales to tell when it comes to You Owe Me Glue, but here’s one. I was recently contacted by a girl called Priscilla in Holland thru the YOMG website. She was friends with Lindsay, who does our e-flyers, but they had lost touch some time ago. Through the power of Glue they are now back in touch and catching up furiously.

You don’t get many posts on here these days, so come on what d’you want from me?

Wednesday 10 May 2006

A New Low


Any of you who have read Pish over the years will know I’ve had my beefs with Channel 4, but last night they sunk to a new low by broadcasting “The Fhonejacker”, without doubt the worst comedy show I have ever seen on British Television.

You have to ask why Channel 4 even exists these days.

Given that its part publicly funded and has a public service remit, questions must be asked about why the channel is so desperately failing to deliver.

In terms of quality programming, it has been taken over by channel Five, which has to be totally humiliating. In fact, Five is starting to take prestige programming like cricket coverage away from 4.

These days, Channel 4 gives us little more than American imports, cheap, poor quality factual programming and out-dated reality pap.

Take this Comedy Lab offering last night as an example. I understand that Comedy Lab material isn’t always going to be conventionally funny, and that in many ways, that’s the point.

But throw a rock in any primary school playground and you’ll hit a child funnier than the guy who put together this travesty.

The programme featured a guy doing prank phone calls to “unsuspecting” members of the public.

The problem? Ever single person he called was savvy to his pish the second he came on the phone.

What ensued were a series of cringingly unfunny exchanges between this talentless buffoon and people annoyed to find themselves having their time wasted by a tit.

Oh yes, and he managed to come up with a character so witlessly racist Jim Davidson would have baulked at the prospect of performing it.

I had always been under the impression that getting a show on the tele involved talent, hard work and persistence but it turns out I was wrong.

Apparently all you have to do is come up with a hilarious “darkie” impression and participate in a practice most people grow out of before they get pubes.

Now I know, eh? Seriously, a new, all-time broadcasting low.

Pish is 2 Today!


Hosanna!!!

Pish is two today, a fact we almost never noticed.

To celebrate, here's a picture of a dog.

That’s right just a picture of a dog.

Look at him there, all furry and everything.

One Title Lost, But Glory Still Beckons…


Boo hoo. For the first time in my 3 season long fantasy football league career, I’ve lost a league title.

I came 3rd in the work Herald league.

My ovine-bothering Northern colleague Innes came 2nd and some guy who’s a mate of a sacked employee and doesn’t even work here came first.

There was talk that the winner would get FA Cup final tickets but of course, that’s hasn’t been mentioned for months, since the two highest placed staff members are mere plebs and not management top brass.

I’m actually quite chuffed with my “UEFA Cup place” finish as I was 15th at Xmas and looking dead and buried.


However, true to form, I am on the verge of winning both The Cheerybananship and The YOMG European title, which will take my tally to 5 league title wins out of 6 entered.

Only a miracle in the European Cup Final and the last round of German, Italian and Spanish fixtures can help my rivals prevent a creditable Domestic and European Double for the Fizzmeister.


Of course, the impact of these facts on my soul destroying desk jockey job are minimal, but when do I ever let real life get in the way of crowing about how brilliant I am like some sort of big man?

Monday 8 May 2006

The Magician

We’ve not had a film review on here for a while, so here’s one now. I saw The Magician over the weekend. It’s an Australian mock-documentary about Ray Shoesmith, an amoral hitman.

For a quick pitch you could call it Man Bites Dog meets Chopper. Iain, our resident cartoonist, hates the Man Bites Dog comparison cos he hated MBD, but loved The Magician. The comparison begins and ends with the fact both films are documentaries of hitmen. The Magician has much more in common with Chopper in the matter of fact way it handles violence and the protagonist’s attitude to it.

Scott Ryan, wrote, directed and takes the lead role in which he’s never less than entertaining.

It’s a film that is based mainly on dialogue with only a few well timed action pieces.

On the whole I enjoyed it. However there are a few things left unexplained for me. We never learn who, if anyone is charging Ray with his tasks and one of his major decisions in the film never really feels as if it’s fully explained. That’s small criticism though in a film that holds your attention throughout.

In the screening I was in I counted 11 walk-outs. It’s really not that graphic. Neither is the dialogue all that crude. I wondered if some of the audience thought they were going to see a film about an actual magician.

Grant McLennan 1958-2006

I was shocked this morning to hear of the death of Go-Betweens’ singer Grant McLennan at the age of only 48.

I posted only a few weeks ago about The Go-Betweens and how good a songwriting team McLennan and Robert Forster were. I saw them play twice, the first time in May 1999 a decade after The Go-Betweens had broken up. They played as a duo doing Go-Betweens songs and stuff from their solo careers. It was an outstanding show and I remember us patting Robert Forster on the back as they made their way through the crowd to go back for another encore. That tour led to them deciding to reform the band.

The last time I saw them play was only a year ago at the Renfrew Ferry. They treated the show as a homecoming, as they had been based in Glasgow briefly at the beginning of their career when they were signed with Postcard Records.

They both casually chatted with the crowd like old pals, as they ran through their back catalogue. I remember McLennan dedicating The Devil’s Eye to Edwyn Collins, who at the time was seriously ill.

I think The Go-Betweens were unique in being one of the few bands who actually got better after reforming. Their last few albums produced some of their finest work.

Their recent DVD That Striped Sunlight Sound gives a real insight into their song writing abilities as they discuss their career and play songs on two acoustic guitars. It highlights the competitive rivalry that he enjoyed with Forster. A rivalry that made them both better songwriters and contributed to what a great band The Go-Betweens were.

His tragic death brings to an end one of the finest song writing duos of the last 25 years.

This links to a tribute to him on the Lo-Max Records website, where they also print the lyrics to one of his best songs, Cattle and Cane.

There’s a number of tributes on the Go-Betweens messageboard including several from Glasgow including Teenage Fanclub’s Norman Blake & Gerry Love, BMX Bandits' Duglas T Stewart and former footballer Pat Nevin. This links to a photoset of a show they did at Avalanche Records in Edinburgh last year. There are also tributes on the TFC messageboard.

Tuesday 2 May 2006

Poor Turnout, Good Show

Had you been at the March Glue, you could have been forgiven for thinking that ours was a show on its way.

With 50+ folk paying on the door, we struggled and eventually failed to seat everyone who arrived for what turned out to be a ramshackle but enjoyable show.

April’s show was beset with problems from the outset – no Dazza meant we were a man down from the off, and Anne Marie pulling out later on left us really struggling.

But, given that we had 3 rehearsals (only one with sound and light guru Chris) 12 new sketches and had to draft in a ringer (the excellent Sara Harrison) we turned in as good as show as we’ve ever done in terms of performance the other night, unfortunately this time to only about 15 people.

I felt the show was a little unbalanced, largely because of the sketches we couldn’t do and one or two of the sketches will benefit from a polish, but by and large it was a quality show.

So why the low turnout? Well, there are excuses to be had. Bank holiday, blah, blah blah…..

But we’re shite at promotion. Virtually no-one outside of our circle of friends and acquaintances know we even exist.

This isn’t helped by the venue, who don’t even mention us on their “What’s On” blackboard.

But it’s mainly down to us not putting in the work and not involving anyone who knows how to promote a show.

I feel we have a good package that just needs to be sold right for more people to be interested in, but if the purpose of Glue is to get us all some work, you have to say that so far, it’s been a failure.

Perhaps we should be putting our limited time and energy into demo and show-reel projects in future.

Doing the live shows is certainly fun, but I get the increasing feeling that we battering our heads against a brick wall.

A Quiet Glue

Friday night’s You Owe Me Glue was probably the lowest attended yet. I think we had 15 folk through the door. Some left at half time, some wandered in then for nothing.

So a pishy attendance that we can put down to who knows what, bank holiday, apathy, poor promotion, competing shows?

As for the show itself it went quite well. I was disappointed in my own performance, but as we all know I am something of a perfectionist. Seriously though the performances were all good and the folk there seemed to enjoy it.

Sara did a good job coming in so late and Alison and Moira found themselves with more to do than they’ve ever had before, but rose to it well.

Hard to say what stuff went down the best with such a small crowd, but there were only a couple of the new sketches I’d rest for next time.

And next time is of course in Blackfriars on Friday 26th May @ 8pm.

There are some photographs below. The first one is of what we almost used as our curtain. We did however get a proper black sheet up.