Thursday 30 September 2004

White Russian Throat

Despite appearing fine while quaffing cocktails with ladies around him, like some sort of low rent playboy in Gong last night, Fizzy has developed 'a sore throat.' I'm pleased he's no' in work as I can happily play Elliott Smith mp3s all afternoon without him gurning. "I'm glad he's deed...his voice is going right through me...I didn't think it was possible for him to be more lo-fi..."

Wednesday 29 September 2004

Fame Won't Change Me

Aye, crazy stuff in the SMG studios on Monday night. A behind the scenes look at the daftest show currently on the tele. Fair play to the staff, they zipped through things in a very professional manner, still, if you are turning out a lot of daft old shit, I suppose you should at least look good at doing it.
A few mysteries were explained. It now appear that’s the press guys sit in a corner called “the press box” and the special guests sit in a different bit dubbed “the executive lounge” (meaning, as far as I could see, slightly nicer chairs and more leg room). That didn’t really explain why Archie McPherson was sitting by himself in the earlier shows, as he’s worked for the Scottish press longer than practically anyone else in the country but anyway, at least a cursory effort was made to explain away one of the absurdities.

The set of course is a major source of fun.

Looking like something your Dad would make you if you asked him for a TV set for your birthday, it features a terrace for the fans/audience to stand on, despite the fact that terracing is not allowed in the SPL. A rickety and somewhat dangerous construct, both roving presenters (Jim never gets up except to see his auto-cue better) almost came a cropper on the various uneven bits and hang nails.
The other bit of the set I found amusing was the goals they have on at the start and the end. Again, no explanation as to why they are even there, I would assume for some kind of beat the goalie feature they decided to abandon when they couldn’t get insurance for old Archie.
In any case, the set seemed to account for at least a fiver of the shows total budget, freeing up that vital other fiver for the nanoseconds of actual football coverage.

Now I’ll admit I didn’t look particularly good on camera. Some people just don’t and if ever there was a time I needed my illusions shattered about any kind of front of camera career, this was it. My particular “favourite” bit of personal ugliness was when the girl next to me was being interviewed and all you could see of me was one of my particularly big flabby man tits. That plus the fact that I look as if someone has taken off my mouth and replaced it in the dark and my daft hair pretty much hammer home that the role of “Ride #1” in “Space Hunks” is unlikely to ever become a credit on my showbiz CV.
Having said that, compared to the rest of audience I did feel reasonably slim, well dressed and clean. Obviously no photo required when applying.
About the only other thing I remember apart from Tom’s glee on discovering the quality nosebag, was the fact that the studio corridor was strewn with bits of sets from other shows including items from “Wheel of Fortune”.
It’s probably as close as I’ll get to anything once used by giant handed woman frightener John Leslie, which is fine with me.
Of course, the show itself was mince with, inane “expert” comment from people who don’t even know who they are watching half the time. As Tom said in his bit, hearing from Andy Walker that Chris Boyd will probably want to keep scoring goals makes you wonder just how much money for old rope there is available out there. I can talk a lot of pish as well, where my fat cash?
The other annoying thing was that the Hearts fan who was on was not so much told what to say but what not to say “…we like the forum to be upbeat!” – He wanted to complain about Chris Robertson – why he couldn’t was beyond me. So contrived, fake comment from people they aren’t really interested in hearing from, but we knew that eh?
My biggest disappointment is that the show has unfortunately become competent to the point where it’s no longer as funny as it was. It’s dropped down from the giddy heights of the whistle contest to the kind of slightly sub mediocre Scottish TV show norm. Like “High Road” and “Weirs Way”.
Anyway, all that’s left to say is that wasn’t a frog in my throat, I was just all choked up with emotion ‘cos I was talking about the bears…

Tuesday 28 September 2004

Fantasy League Round Up

A big weekend for league leader Ronnie with King, Scholes, Baros and Hasselbaink all pulling in the points for yet another week. Playing a man down hasn’t stopped The Von Brauns massing an impressive 111 points for the week.

Neltic stay second, with Mellberg, Djibril Cisse and Kevin Kuranyi all pulling in the big points so far. A solid 87 for the week.

Rising like a big daft salmon to third is Tom, with an impressive backline including Turam and Canavarro of Juve outscoring his front-men by some margin. Locked up tight at the back, Tom will be looking for some more goals form midfielders, Beckham, Okotcha and Hleb. Second top scorer for the week with a saucy 104.

CSFPG continue to confound pre- season knockers with a solid showing in fourth. An reasonable 77 belies the fact that Edman, Lungberg and Lampard look like the solid base in an otherwise average squad.

Moving up two places to fifth after some “inspired” changes are my own Big Fanny Failures. Having started the season badly, an improved 83 has me a few decent weeks scoring away from the top dogs.
My much changed side will have to start living up to potential in a team where standouts are few and far between.

Two points behind The Fannies, Lokomotiv Sausages look capable of climbing the table as well, with surprise star turn Athletico Madrid goalie Leo Franco. 70 for the week.

On the slide though are Keith’s Do You Smell Gas? If only his team were performing as well as his major assets, his manager and ground. 59 is our lowest score of the week. Rumours that Gas? Have been sniffing around looking for another, non-ginger, manager have been hotly denied by the Cadgerman.

All of which should give hope to bottom side West Bam United, who’s decision to bring in Chelsea keeper Petr Chech looks like a wise move. A respectable 64 for the week and Gas? firmly in her sights.

The Inner Workings of Scotsport

So who watched Scotsport then? Here's the inside skinny. It's no better or no less of an amateur hour when you're in the thing than when you watch it on TV. There were a nice spread of sandwiches (I went for the prawn) and again I made more money than I ever have from stand-up. They certainly don't choose the people they have on for aesthetic reasons. Immediately I felt slimmer, better dressed and more handsome than I do in the regular world.

The studio is tiny. Well the studio is big, but the set is tiny. Fuck knows why they have that wee goal thing. The recording went 'smoothly' but that's because they're happy with presenters tripping over their words and guests mispronouncing names. Billy McNeil highlighted the big threat to Celtic on Wednesday being from some Milan striker called Sheblenko. I'm beginning to see why he got his cards as Celtic boss (not to mention Villa and Man City).

The comments sound even more inane in the flesh than they do on the box. It's a show that never says anything if it can't state the screamingly obvious. Andy Walker's assessment of Kris Boyd's 5 goals against Dundee United was that he'll be looking to score more goals but defenders will be marking him. And when he commented on Kenny Miller's similar feat a few years ago, all Andy could think of to say was that he was 'showing some promise around that time.' What time, Andy? The time he scored 5 goals in one game? Was he playing no' too bad round about then Andy? Thanks for being there for us all eh? Why don't you give us some fucking insight that we don't have? I think Fizzy proved that any layabout could go on that programme and talk about football, so surely the so called 'experts' could have something different from the norm to say. Imagine a programme about molecules where the panelists said nothing more than:

"A molecule is the smallest portion of a pure substance In chemistry, a compound is a substance formed from two or more elements, with a fixed ratio determining the composition."

"That's right the thing about molecules they are the smallest portion of a pure substance..."

Football is weird subject where in-depth knowledge is an unquantifiable property. Footballers as a breed tend to be not all that smart and football programmes on the whole tend to avoid controversy. All in all adding up to bland, uninspired comments all round.

Andy Walker has played at the highest level in this country yet can only think of things to say about football that a mother watching her wean in the park would say. And he's one of the more lucid ones. Even Hugh Keevins who has made his living from football and the English language for decades could offer little more than trite comments obvious to even the casual observer.

All the people on it were friendly enough, especially Sara O, I couldn't really tell you about the Julyan guy but Fizz could. Jim Delahunt is indeed dependent on the Autocue though.

As for the big man's appearance I think he'll be on later to let you all know his thoughts on how it went. I was just lucky I was up the back with all the ugly folk as I couldn't keep a straight face.

Monday 27 September 2004

Paddy Considine

One of my favourite actors of the moment is Paddy Considine. If you dunno who he is then you've never seen A Room for Romeo Brass, Last Resort, 24 Hour Party People or In America. I'm eagerly anticipating his next two films (less face it I have fuck all else to look forward to), My Summer of Love and Dead Man's Shoes.

Here is a feature and an interview The Telegraph and The Guardian.

Nightclubbing

Also at the weekend I found myself visiting more Glasgow nightclubs that I have done all year. Once steaming drunk and the other sober. And y'know I think it was more fun sober, though that may have been due to the people I was with. What I did notice was that in both places the floors were unbelievably slippy, last night it got like It's a Knockout at one stage with three or four people crashing to the ground in the space of seconds. Including my pal Sara. I could almost hear Stuart Hall cackling, though I think he would have laughed at a wheel turning round.

The one thing that stood out for me from my clubbing experience was hearing Made of Stone at a proper volume. It was made to be played loud that song.

Pictures

Over the weekend I saw Ae Fond Kiss (2/5). It was pish. I'm usually a fan of Ken Loach and Paul Laverty's work, but this really bored me. For a start it's a nothing story. Two people fall in love, at the drop of the proverbial hat I might add, and religion gets in the road. That's about it. Love conquers all though eh?

I thought the acting was ropey all over the place. Eva Birthistle was the one bright spot in it. The performances on the whole appeared to give the film a very improvised feel and although this may have been part of the process it looked like the first take had been used each time. The builders who were I guess supposed to be the comic relief were so infrequently used as to be redundant. Not a satisfying cinema experience at all.

Which certainly wasn't the case with Hero (4/5). This was a masterpiece in cinematography, sets and set pieces. Terrific action and a simple story with a lot of little twists and turns.

Tommy and Graham? What did you make of it?

Seinfeld Reunites

And we're back with the trivial pish you're all so used to. The cast of Seinfeld are having a TV Reunion to plug the forthcoming DVD, which is also available on Region 2.

Gail

I pondered whether this was the right place to do this or not, but since I'll put down on these pages whatever trivial pish goes on in my life, I thought I should actually write a little bit about something real that's happened.

Just over a week ago my friend Gail died. I only knew Gail for a little bit more than a year. She was one of the most positive and forward thinking people I've ever met. Even when she was ill she was always talking about what project she was going to get moving next. She never lost interest in anything anyone else was doing either. She always seemed to genuinely care about what you were doing and what direction you were headed in and what she could do to help.

Of the things that first come to mind when I think about her, was the time I saw her get on the bus after she had been in a show at The Arches. She seemed really chuffed that I had made an effort to shout on her, citing it as "the first time anyone has ever shouted on me on a bus." She was a bit pissed right enough. I also remember laughing at her when she asked if I would babysit her wee boy. I did, and after I got over what a ludicrous notion anyone asking me to look after their kid was, I was touched that she was happy to leave him in my care. And I ended up making more money out of that babysitting gig than I ever have doing stand-up.

Gail was someone who realised what she wanted from her life and had such drive and desire to achieve it. I find it so sad that she didn't get to fully realise everything that she was capable of. However the important thing is that she did do what she wanted to and acheived a lot that most people wouldn't have thought possible.

It perhaps seems disingenuous to suggest that I'm better off for having known her and while I maybe wasn't going round saying that in January, it's probably true. And I know that I'll miss her.

Thursday 23 September 2004

Scotsport vs. Fizzy

You all remember Fizzy's outrage about how bad Scotsport was don't you? If not look here. Well, would you be surprised to learn that he's on the show this Monday? Well he is. And er, so am I.

While the Scotsport woman was on the phone to him she asked "Fraser Campbell? We had a complaint from a Fraser Campbell...that wasn't you was it?"

Wednesday 22 September 2004

A Five News Update

As loyal readers may be aware I contacted Five regarding their senseless dropping of The Shield. I received a less than satisfactory response and sent off another missive. Only to receive a cheeky reply. Below is said reply and my further response. Let's see how long this one goes on for.


Date: 20th September 2004

Dear Tom

Thank you for your further e-mail regarding The Shield.

Please allow us to apologise for the delay in responding, we have had an
unusually large number of e-mails recently which has caused a back-log.

We are sorry that you feel our last response was 'pre-prepared'.
Despite advances in technology, it is still necessary to employ human
beings in the scripting of all Five responses. We will only use a
"standard" response if it exactly answers a viewer's questions. A
standard response ensures total accuracy, and enables us to give a more
comprehensive answer to the particular points made. There is simply no
point in rephrasing the same answer to exactly the same questions as
this would mean that it would take months rather than days to respond to
the large volume of mail that we receive.

We feel that we answered your enquiry with our first response, that The
Shield is taking a break to accommodate some new autumn programmes.

Thank you for your interest in Five.

Yours sincerely


VIEWER ADVISOR


Dear 'VIEWER ADVISOR'

I read with great interest your e-mail suggesting that my assumption that you had merely cut and pasted a pre-prepared response to my query. I had imagined a human being responded to my query as I referred to him by name, Craig. Craig however had referred to me by the name of 'Correspondent,' suggesting that my reply was not individually tailored. At least Craig had the courtesy to put his name to his pre-prepared cut and paste response as now I find myself writing to a 'human being' who goes by the name of VIEWER ADVISOR.

Your previous response did not attempt to address my query, nor did your latest. I realise that you will stubbornly refuse to do so no matter how many times I contact.

Once again you have told me something that I already know. The Shield has been moved to accommodate another programme. I was not contacting you to ask why there was one hour of dead air in its place. I knew there was another programme in its place. I asked why you had saw fit to do this.

If you do feel the need to enter into some sort of pedantic flame war, by all means fire off a response that says more about how you answer your e-mails than it does about how you treat your television programmes and your viewers. Only this time have the decency to put your name on it, eh?

Best Wishes

Tom Brogan

Monday 20 September 2004

Make up Your Mind

I was just wondering how anyone in America could be an 'undecided' voter. How can you have a President like Bush in charge for the last 3 and a bit years and not have formed an opinion on whether or not you want more of the same for the next 4 years? Well Larry David feels the same way. Have a look at this piece from The New York Times.

Are You Undecided? Or Not?
By LARRY DAVID

Published: September 16, 2004

Los Angeles — I'd like to address this to the Undecideds: I'm on to you. You may be fooling everyone else with your little "undecided" act, but you're not fooling me. You know perfectly well whom you're voting for. The only reason you say you're undecided is that it's a cheap ploy to get attention. How do I know? Because I'm the most indecisive person in the world. I set the template, baby, and you're not passing the smell test.

You want to see real undecided? Go out to dinner with me sometime. I'll show you undecided. I look at the menu for 20 minutes, ask everybody what they're ordering, and then, finally, after I copy someone, wind up dashing into the kitchen to tell the waiter I've changed my mind.

Do a little shoe shopping with me. I guarantee you won't be able to stand it. The black ones. No, the brown ones. No, the black ones. Several of my relationships have ended in shoe stores, with women slipping out, unnoticed, never to be seen again. I even got thrown out of a poker game once because I sat there, paralyzed, unable to decide whether or not to fold. It wasn't a pretty sight, but at least it was genuine, not a bluff, like you people.

Oh, I've observed you in action. I've sat next to you at dinner parties and watched while everyone talked themselves silly, trying to get you on board. But you wouldn't budge, would you? You almost seemed to take some pleasure from it, just like my 8-year-old when she makes me beg her to take her medicine, you rascals.

The other night I saw a whole gaggle of you on TV in a focus group. You really liked chatting with professional pollster Frank Luntz, didn't you? He seemed very interested in what you had to say. Afterward, I could imagine all of you piling into a bus and heading for Denny's to discuss your exciting evening with Frank. I could see all of you staying friends even after the election. Maybe go on some trips together. Perhaps a wine tour of Tuscany. On bicycles! Oh, the life of the Undecided. Too bad they can't hold these presidential elections more often. Ah, well, you'll just have to make do.

The truth is, Undecideds, you're getting on our nerves. We Decideds hate all the attention you're getting and that you're jerking us around. Anyone who can't make up his or her mind at this point in the campaign should forget about the election entirely, buy a pint of ice cream and get into bed.

We'd love to tell you to take a hike, but we're afraid to alienate you. If we really had any brains, we wouldn't spend another second on you, but on the people who can truly make a difference: the "unlikely" voters. And there are millions more of them than there are of you. Those people aren't after attention, they're just incredibly lazy. The only way they'll register to vote is if someone shows up at their door with a form. And then the only way they'll actually vote is if you carry them to the booth.

Not only are they lazy, they're also indifferent. They just don't believe that voting can have an effect on their lives. Well, it just so happens that right after I voted for the first time, I landed myself a big fat job in Hollywood, a biopsy came back benign and I met my future wife as soon as I walked out of the voting booth. Coincidence? You decide.


Larry David appears in the HBO series "Curb Your Enthusiasm."

People All Kinds of People

Over the weekend I met a handful of interesting folk, a girl from Waula Waula in Australia who works for Rangers, a guy from Canada with a Hitler moustache who told me that Frank Sinatra used to bathe his feet in Jack Daniels.

Gregory Rankine from STV's fishing programme who went mental when I asked if I had seen his programme on a Sunday afternoon. "THURSDAY NIGHT! THURSDAY 7.30! PRIMETIME!" There you go, I never even knew that STV had a primetime. I also met a girl called Stacey from Toronto who had me in stitches, with her top patter. Despite a degree in criminology she sells wheelchairs. And her shop is upstairs. Class.

Collateral

I saw Collateral this weekend. It scores 4 Tom stars out of 5. If you've seen Michael Mann's previous work this will come as no surprise to you, but it's still a well paced action packed thriller.

Cruise gets talked up a lot as a big movie star, but what a lot of people forget is that he's one hell of an actor. Jamie Foxx is every bit his equal in this though. He's a guy who can shift gears through an arrogant sportstar (Any Given Sunday) a washed up junkie (Ali) to Collateral's working stiff, Max. In support is the always excellent Mark Ruffalo (if you haven't seen You Can Count on Me then see it now), Jada Pinkett Smith and small roles for Peter Berg and the hugely underrated Bruce McGill. Rounding it out is a scene stealing performance from Oscar Nominee Javier Bardem.

Go see it.

Congratulations!

First of all to Ronnie who completed the Pedal for Scotland Glasgow to Edinburgh 50 mile cycle challenge in the respectable time of 4 Hours and 7 minutes. This means I now owe him 2 quid for charity.

Next of all to Moira for her howling performance in The Devils at the Ramshorn Theatre. Although she didn't have many, she made every line count and made the most of her descent into madness.

Thursday 16 September 2004

Tally Fucking Ho

Anyone else enjoy watching those toffee nosed twats getting their faces panned in by the cops yesterday? I have to admit to a macabre sense of gratification.
What I love about it all of course is the irony.
I wonder if anyone else can remember the last time people were kicking around the streets with blood streaming from head wounds, complaining about having their livelihood taken from them. Yes, that’s right, Fizzy’s favourite subject, The Miners Strike. My community had to deal with the decimation of our working lives, when Thatcher decided Britain wasn’t going to actually make things anymore, and used the cash saved to give her pals big tax cuts.
Now it’s Hooray Henrys turn. So deal with it, like we had to. Re-train; get other jobs, like we had to.
I think it’s a bit rich to expect ordinary working people to sympathise with or support the very people who benefited from our last little bout of martial law.
I didn’t see anyone in tweed plus fours saying no to tax cuts or on a picket line when Thatcher and her cronies were raping our public services and stealing the dignity of the working classes.
And let’s not forget that all this trouble is down to the elected Government of the day deciding (with a huge majority) that riding around on a horse tooting a horn while you chase and kill a defenceless animal isn’t on. That’s all. It’s hardly shutting a shipyard.
So take your licks and shut it plummy, it’s simply your turn. As far as I’m concerned it’s only fair.

Wednesday 15 September 2004

The Bat Signal

We all saw the spud dressed up as Batman on Monday night. But did you know that apparently he is so caught up in protesting about being unable to see his children that he has, you guessed it, no time to see his children.

The Movies

I thought I'd update you all on what I've seen in the cinema recently. First up there's Dodgeball. I really like Ben Stiller, so was sure I'd like this one and I did. However Dodgeball didn't seem that daft a sport, it seemed like it could easily be played. Why not make it an Olympic sport in 4 years time. If beach volleyball can make it in...

The pick of the bunch of recent movies is Super Size Me a truly fascinating documentary that has put me off visiting McDonald's for life. Here is director and star Morgan Spurlock's blog.

The final film I've seen recently was last night's Hellboy. This was an enjoyable romp, very violent, a wee bit scary and on the whole a cracking action flick.

Tuesday 14 September 2004

I Complain

If you like to complain, and who doesn't, go visit I Complain. The new website from Ronnie Brown the man what brung you 160676.

What the Five?

You'll note from previous posts that we're big fans of The Shield, a show that has become the best on the box, yes even better than The Sopranos. Well it's been dropped for two weeks for Cosmetic Surgey Live. Impressed I was not, so I decided I'd drop them a note. Below is my inital contact followed by their reply and my less than satisfied follow up.

Dear Sir

What on earth are you doing with The Shield? Cosmetic Surgery Live? Are you kidding? Two weeks in a row? You've got the best drama series going bar none and you choose to drop it for two weeks in order to put Vannesa Feltz on television. The last thing that woman should have pointed at her is a TV camera.

How can you justify treating a first rate programme in such a shabby manner? Have you employed the same guy as the BBC did when they slid Seinfeld around their late night schedules or that Channel 4 employ to bury NYPD Blue and The West Wing?

It's the televisual equivalent of Manchester United handing Ruud van Nistelrooy the goalie gloves and playing Tim Howard up front. Perhaps on The Shield series 3 DVD release instead of 'As seen on Five' you could have 'As occasionally seen on Five.' Or perhaps two episodes could be replaced with 'Vansessa Feltz Under the Knife.' If only.

Are you offering any kind of explanation for this baffling scheduling plan?

Incidentally, I didn't see Cosmetic Surgery Live, was it any good?

Yours bewildered

Tom Brogan


Date: 14th September 2004


Dear Correspondent

Thank you for your recent e-mail regarding The Shield and please allow
us to apologise for the delay in responding.

As part of our autumn line up we are screening Cosmetic Surgery Live;
this has been stripped across our late night schedule for two weeks
around 23.00 and has necessitated the removal of all other programmes in
and around this slot.

The Shield is currently scheduled to return on 2nd October with Episode
12: Riceburner. Please note that, as with all commercial TV schedules,
this is subject to change and we strongly suggest keeping a close eye on
our listings.

Thank you for your interest in Five.

Yours sincerely


VIEWER ADVISOR

A generic reply that told me what I already knew and was complaning about didn't really satisfy me. I would also appreciate being addressed as an individual not as 'Correspondent.' So I've sent a reply.

Dear Craig

Thank you for your response to my e-mail of Monday 13th September, however it appears to have been a pre-prepared response as my question didn't appear to have been addressed.

I know you've moved The Shield for Cosmetic Surgery Live.

Why?

What was the thinking behind putting cheap rubbish on in place of brilliantly crafted drama? What does this say to viewers that Five have built up by acquiring this excellent programme? When the net closes in around The Strike Team over the Money Train haul what assurances do we have that the episode isn't going to be dropped for World's Biggest Trousers or Gloria Hunniford presents Manicured Monkeys?

I take it the fact that you already have a pre-prepared response to my query indicates that Five expected a flurry of complaints. Though you may just do this for every show you decide to give 2 weeks holiday to. I mean, how do I know how television works?

So I would appreciate an answer as to why such a superior show has been cast aside for an obvious headline seeking exercise in cheap trash television.

Yours Still Bewildered

Tom Brogan


Let's see if they actually provide me with a human response.

Hello from 'Pish

I realise that there's probably no one out there reading this now, but we're back. I've not updated for a variety of reasons, but I should fire up a few wee blogs shortly. Thanks for all the (two) enquiries about where we were.

Wednesday 8 September 2004

Advertisers Why?

So that’s the Olympics over then. Well for nearly a fortnight now. It also means the end of Olympic themed adverts. During the European Championship it seemed that every product had developed some tenuous connection with football, then a month or so later there was an Olympic theme to the nation’s buying instructions. "Make your whites Gold Medal whites...The last thing you need when the starting pistol goes is for your period to start..."

Whatever seems to be interesting the public advertisers think that we’re more likely to buy their products if they’re linked to it?

What’s the next trick? If a close member of your family has been taken hostage, you’ll want to stay in touch with the authorities and what better way to do it than with a Nokia phone? If you spot the Devon serial killer make sure you do it through lenses supplied from Vision Express.

Here's Bill Hicks

By the way, if anyone here is in marketing or advertising...kill yourself. Thank you. Just planting seeds, planting seeds is all I'm doing. No joke here, really. Seriously, kill yourself, you have no rationalisation for what you do, you are Satan's little helpers. Kill yourself, kill yourself, kill yourself now. Now, back to the show. Seriously, I know the marketing people: 'There's gonna be a joke comin' up.' There's no fuckin' joke. Suck a tail pipe, hang yourself...borrow a pistol from an NRA buddy, do something...rid the world of your evil fuckin' presence.

Tuesday 7 September 2004

Ho Hum...

Tom’s not been well which explains the lack of blogging activity this week. I don’t really have much to say – there’s the opening of the awful looking Parliament building today, although it’s not official. That was a lot of money for a daft looking load of old crap wasn’t it?
The only other thing that has got my goat lately has been the woman from “You Are What You Eat”.
Hasn’t anyone else noticed she looks like shit? Who’s taking dietary advice from that hoatching old skank? She looks about 80!
I wish someone would give me money to be in a programme where I tell the obese to eat less and take vitamin supplements. What next, a cripple telling accident victims how to cross the road?
Plus there’s that horrible US/Scots Lulu voice. Ugh.