What the Five?

You'll note from previous posts that we're big fans of The Shield, a show that has become the best on the box, yes even better than The Sopranos. Well it's been dropped for two weeks for Cosmetic Surgey Live. Impressed I was not, so I decided I'd drop them a note. Below is my inital contact followed by their reply and my less than satisfied follow up.

Dear Sir

What on earth are you doing with The Shield? Cosmetic Surgery Live? Are you kidding? Two weeks in a row? You've got the best drama series going bar none and you choose to drop it for two weeks in order to put Vannesa Feltz on television. The last thing that woman should have pointed at her is a TV camera.

How can you justify treating a first rate programme in such a shabby manner? Have you employed the same guy as the BBC did when they slid Seinfeld around their late night schedules or that Channel 4 employ to bury NYPD Blue and The West Wing?

It's the televisual equivalent of Manchester United handing Ruud van Nistelrooy the goalie gloves and playing Tim Howard up front. Perhaps on The Shield series 3 DVD release instead of 'As seen on Five' you could have 'As occasionally seen on Five.' Or perhaps two episodes could be replaced with 'Vansessa Feltz Under the Knife.' If only.

Are you offering any kind of explanation for this baffling scheduling plan?

Incidentally, I didn't see Cosmetic Surgery Live, was it any good?

Yours bewildered

Tom Brogan


Date: 14th September 2004


Dear Correspondent

Thank you for your recent e-mail regarding The Shield and please allow
us to apologise for the delay in responding.

As part of our autumn line up we are screening Cosmetic Surgery Live;
this has been stripped across our late night schedule for two weeks
around 23.00 and has necessitated the removal of all other programmes in
and around this slot.

The Shield is currently scheduled to return on 2nd October with Episode
12: Riceburner. Please note that, as with all commercial TV schedules,
this is subject to change and we strongly suggest keeping a close eye on
our listings.

Thank you for your interest in Five.

Yours sincerely


VIEWER ADVISOR

A generic reply that told me what I already knew and was complaning about didn't really satisfy me. I would also appreciate being addressed as an individual not as 'Correspondent.' So I've sent a reply.

Dear Craig

Thank you for your response to my e-mail of Monday 13th September, however it appears to have been a pre-prepared response as my question didn't appear to have been addressed.

I know you've moved The Shield for Cosmetic Surgery Live.

Why?

What was the thinking behind putting cheap rubbish on in place of brilliantly crafted drama? What does this say to viewers that Five have built up by acquiring this excellent programme? When the net closes in around The Strike Team over the Money Train haul what assurances do we have that the episode isn't going to be dropped for World's Biggest Trousers or Gloria Hunniford presents Manicured Monkeys?

I take it the fact that you already have a pre-prepared response to my query indicates that Five expected a flurry of complaints. Though you may just do this for every show you decide to give 2 weeks holiday to. I mean, how do I know how television works?

So I would appreciate an answer as to why such a superior show has been cast aside for an obvious headline seeking exercise in cheap trash television.

Yours Still Bewildered

Tom Brogan


Let's see if they actually provide me with a human response.