Life Is Brilliant

Well great news for me today – another job interview, another knockback.

This of course means I have to face up to at least another month of my current job, which leaves me with about £6 a month to pure live it up with after I pay my travel fares and bills.

I’ve always managed on not very much cash, but it’s getting a bit beyond the pale now.

Anyway, not getting this job means I can fill youse aw in on the hilarious interview.

I won’t say who the job was for, but it was a shop in Falkirk’s busy “retail park” – the term it would appear is used for a vast car park with shops round about it. And a cinema.

While waiting for the manager to take me in for interview I was hanging about the front, trying to look interested in the garish pish they sold.

A guy from the storeroom came up to chat to me and here follows the conversation we had word for word as I remember it:

Guy: “You here for the stockroom job?”

Me: “Aye, just waiting for the manager.”

Guy: “I hope you get it ‘cos I could really do with a hand. I’ve only been here a few weeks and before that I hadn’t worked for 11 months ‘cos I found my wife dead in our bed. That knocked me back a bit, finding my wife dead in our bed like that. I’m surprised they took me on. But I could really do with a hand in there.”

Me: Riiiiiight…”

Then the manager came out.

The interview itself was cracking stuff.

The tossbag who interviewed me never let me speak, cut in and talked over everything I said and, after finding out that I’d spent some time working for the evil filth who are Scottish Power, spend about 20mins regaling me with the story of how they did him out of about 60 grands-worth of redundie.

Good. Wish it had been more.

I’ve had to phone 3 times over the course of the last few days to get my knockback and to be told that I lost out to someone with “more experience” and that “I should have had a letter by now”.

All this to get a shitty shop job that paid 15p above minimum wage.

Fucking soul destroying stuff. Trying to find even the most basically paid job in the area I’ve moved to is becoming the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life.

Still, it’s life experience you can’t buy, which is just as well given that I haven’t a brass tuppence to my name, and no prospect of that changing anytime soon.