Rant #1 - Sham TV Companies

As you may be aware, due to our constant whinging, the comedy ladder is a fickle one, with lots of late nights and hours put in writing, travelling and performing. There’s lots of lies, bullshitting and time wasting. On top of that there is little if any money at the end of it all.

Comedy is also a rich breeding ground for parasites. Talentless people who are out to suck money out of folk with some talent and a desire to make a career out of comedy.

One such parasite is Showcase TV. One of their minions, stuck this ‘opportunity’ on the forums of Chortle a week or so ago, though he pretended that he had just come across the information. Then he registered to join a forum specifically in order to let a bunch of other folk he had never conversed with before know about it.

SHOWCASE TV (Sky Channel 181)

Showcase TV, the UK's first TV channel allowing members of the public to send their message or air their talents to the nation. Broadcast 100% Guaranteed

We want to see your crazy tricks and talents, your personal or even political message to the nation, your jokes and jackass comedy on Showcase TV (Sky Channel 181).

Operated by UK-based media company Classic Media Group based at Shepperton Film Studios, the Showcase TV programme launches February 12th on digital Sky Channel 181. Showcase TV will rely entirely on members of the public for its programming content, you are guaranteed to be on air for the small sum of £100 plus VAT for 60 Seconds and you can buy as much airtime as you want as frequently as you want. The show runs twice weekly on a Monday and a Wednesday at 10.00pm. You could even have your own regular 5 minute slot.

Aspiring actors, up-and-coming comedians, wannabe models and unsigned bands/singers with original material or in fact anyone will be able to showcase their talents or message and launch their careers on national TV.

They then go on to explain that they are not like similar rip-off internet sites.

In addition you can also take away the recorded piece on DVD to promote yourself on You Tube or My Space, or to send in for auditions etc. An ideal low-cost showreel plus the benefit of having broadcast to the nation on Showcase TV.

For Further Information Please Contact:
Showcase TV
Classic Media Group, Shepperton Film Studios, UK

Telephone: 01932 592016
Email: info@classic-media-group.com
www.myspace.com/showcasetv
www.showcase-tv.co.uk

So let’s recap. I get to go to a TV studio and perform for 60 seconds. So that’s a few one-liners from my stand-up, or a quick YOMG sketch. All I have to do is hand over £100. I could even have my own five minute slot! Wow! And it’ll only cost me £500. Regular too! So it’ll only cost me 500 quid a week, almost 5 times what I make in a week! What a great opportunity. And on a backwater satellite channel too!

Not only am I now not being paid for my work – I’m paying them. This is a supposedly reputable TV company’s idea of how to get entertainment on the air.

Quite rightly this thread was met with scorn and ridicule by the folk on Chortle. After a barrage of abuse this comment was posted by someone who signed in without using their real name.

"As the 'simpleton' ( I believe that was the politest term used in this protracted debate) that produced this concept, I thank you for your interest shown and your many amusing comments . Keep it up and well done, some of you might even make a career out of being funny one day."

What I love about this comment is that this idiot is giving himself a warm pat on the back for what he thinks is a ‘concept’. Is this the standard of TV production today? You’ve no fucking ideas at all. Not a one. So some muppet thinks, ‘I know I’ll get no hopers to pay money to be on our channel’.

These fuckers produce DVDs for Joe Pasquale and Gary Bushell for fuck’s sake. Gary Bushell!

I sincerely hope this ‘concept’ falls on its arse and those responsible soon find themselves working in a call-centre.