What's The Opposite Of "Tonic"?

The news that Coldplay are preparing to shite in our lugs once again has done nothing to lift my Monday depression.

I notice that Chris Martin has finally succumbed to the chanting of all the tin eared mopes who can’t stop going on about how brilliant he is by declaring one of his compositions “genius”.

Yes Chris, in the same way that Ebola is a “genius” disease.

For true genius, try this instead.