"I Need That Seat..."

Coming back from town last night I got on a 62 to Partick. Mobbed of course, I stood near the door. A character I recognised through reading about on this blog got on at Finnieston.

Dressed in workie gear, fluorescent yellow jacket, orange trousers and work boots, this was augmented with a wide selection of love beads and bangles, several large earrings including a 4 inch hoop and a court jester’s hat covered in what appeared to be pink rubber bands, I realised this guy was The Electric Scarecrow.

“Some big homosexual’s just tried to feel me up,” he told a guy who seemed to know him. “I’m just going up here for a cerry-oot then I’m goin’ back hame.”

When his pal left he resumed playing SOS by ABBA at full bung on his Walkman. He then began singing along. He wished the driver a fond farewell as he got off, then stopped a woman getting on the bus to ask “Am I looking awright?” before warmly greeting everyone else at the stop on his way into the offie.

A few stops further along the road a red faced middle aged wee guy with dark glasses got on. Looking like he’d just been beat up by Regan and Carter from The Sweeney, he chucked his money in the vault and said to the driver, “Just a poun’. I’m only goin’ up tae the cop shop.”

Walking up the bus he insisted that an older guy get up due to the fact “I need that seat. I’m oot ma cunt.” He then mumbled something about “Taking a load o’ they eccies.” For his next trick he took his bus ticket, licked it, reached across the girl beside him and attached it to the window. Finally he hassled a young girl to take his seat.

Ah First Bus, you see bams in the street and you gather them all up in one place.