Where is my Friend Herge?

I went along to The Stand in Glasgow last night to see my pal Charlotte do a spot. The Red Raw nights are a great mixed bag, 2 quid, ten comedians, some of them will be funny, some of them so-so, some of them rubbish and the best thing occasionally you’ll get a complete nutter.

Was I glad I he turned up last night? You bet I was. Craig Mungo, I believe was his name. Scott Agnew introduced him, only to discover that he was nowhere to be seen. After 15, 20 seconds, an eternity with nothing happening on stage, he finally ran on. He had his jacket on and a rucksack over his shoulder.

To begin with he announced he was Dutch, though he clearly wasn’t. For the next 2 or 3 minutes he did nothing but mumble in his faux Dutch accent, before getting out a small notebook and reading off that. Beside me a guy who looked liked a squashed Billy Idol, howled with laughter, as if Groucho Marx and Chic Murray were doing a double act. This guy was obviously the act’s pal.

When finally we could make out what Mungo was saying he seemed to be doing some sort of scatological bit. He had now ran over his allotted five minutes. Throughout his ‘act’ he routinely referred to his pal ‘Herge’ who was in the audience.

By the time he hit the ten minute mark he was on about Benny Hill and being chased. He asked if anyone wanted to come onstage. No one did. The lighting guy flashed the lights on and off furiously, as Mungo checked his notebook and started another bit.

At this point his pal was making his way through the crowd and toward the stage. That’s when I knew it was going to be good.

Mungo pulled him onto the stage and positioned him against the back wall. Now I knew he was his mate, but I don’t think anyone else in the audience did. Down into his rucksack he went, fumbling around for several seconds.

Then suddenly…bang! He walloped a big chocolate cake straight into his pal’s face. There was chocolate up the walls and all over the floor. He hit him so hard his pal bounced off the wall.

He then went back to reading off his notes as his pal staggered back through the crowd, wiping chocolate cake from his face and pishing himself laughing.

By now Mungo had been on for about 15 minutes and showed no signs of knocking off for the night. The lighting guy then shouted ‘You’re ten minutes over’, this seemed not to phase him. A few of us then started clapping, which spread round the room, the music went on, Scott Agnew reappeared and it was his cue to get off.

However he refused, complaining that he had been ill-treated. He then attempted to fight Scott for the microphone. After Scott fought him off he sloped backstage where apparently he made an awful lot of noise before leaving the venue for good.

Here’s some archive ‘Pish on more comedy nutters.