Mon The 'Gers

As many of you know, I am what some would refer to as a dirty currant bun.

Not many right enough, but anyway....

We kick off our season proper in a Champions League qualifier tonight (in about 10 mins actually) against Montenegrin champs Zeta, so it'll be interesting to see how the "rebuilding process" has got on.

After a couple of years of getting pumped by Celtic and a closed season of not too many exciting arrivals I'm still quite excited by the prospect of the football being back.

But that's the game of football isn't it? Not really the domain the realist.

Ah well, mon the Teddy Bears!

You Wait Eleven Weeks For One Job…

As most of you will know, I’ve been having about as much luck on the jobs front as big T.

Until now that is. Yes, it would appear that I have secured not one but two jobs – sort of.

In a prefect illustration of how life can never just be simple, I agreed to take a part time job on Monday there after a couple of days “work trial”. Work Trial of course means that you turn in and don’t get paid. Magic.

Well, no sooner had I called the Breu to tell them I was coming in to sign off than I got another call telling me I had another, better job pending background checks and references.

Cracking eh?

I have to go in and tell my new boss that he’s in fact my new former boss the morra.

He’ll not be chuffed, as he was training me up to cover a holiday he’d booked for the end of August, so I’m not sure whether he’ll want me to work on ‘til he finds someone else or just punt me on the spot.

Of course, there is also the worst case scenario that I’ll burn my bridges with this guy and end up having some sort of problem with the other job, but I feel I have to give him as much notice that I’m offski as possible.

Then of course I’ll have to sort out the whole mess with the Breu, who seem to be full of earnest enough but not-very-bright people who generally haven’t a clue what they are doing.

Setting up my two-day work trial took about 10 phone calls and a visit for example, a process during which simple things like notes on my file that I was told had been made weren’t.

Of course, they also managed to fuck up my money, leaving me more penniless now I’m back working than I was when living the life of a dole king.

Reading Tom’s posts about looking for work and agencies and the like, I have to concur with most of his experiences.

It would appear that recruitment has become the new marketing in as much as every employer has an unnecessarily complex recruitment system that acts to divest management of the genuine responsibility of hiring and is an extremely wearing and awkward process for people seeking work.

It would also appear that the business is full of people phoning it in who are abysmal at what you’d consider a key component of the job – communication.

Like Tom, I’ve had "interest" from agencies that has dissipated despite numerous attempts to follow up.

The job I’ve landed isn’t exactly a dream, but compared to my last full time job, it’s like winning the lottery.

But by far the most satisfying aspect of landing a half decent job is the thought of not having to deal with scam agencies, an inbox full of "job alert" emails and a Jobcentre Plus advisor huckling me out the door so she doesn’t miss her coffee break.

Plus being able to afford comics, food and clothes will be great.

Phew!

San Diego 2007

The San Diego comic con was last weekend, an event that is becoming more and more a multi media supermarket for anything sci-fi, comic or fantasy related.

There are gazillions of posts about the hunners of topics covered at the Con here, but here’s what I found interesting...

Indie writer/artist Terry Moore is taking over from Joss Whedon on Marvel’s brilliant teen superhero comedy Runaways.

Original ongoing title writer Jamie Delano is back on Hellblazer for a one shot story, with Rebis creator and crime novelist Ian Rankin set to take over writing the regular series at some point in the future.

Watchmen casting - Billy Crudup (as Dr Manhattan) leads a cast of virtual unknowns in what has to be the most anticipated comic book related movie of all time.

Here’s hoping it isn’t total wank.

DC have announced a new “Minx” imprint, a line of comics aimed at teenage girls trying to tap into the massive Manga market that has exploded thanks to female patronage.

Other movies in development you might want to see...

Whiteout is a thriller set in well, you guessed it, somewhere with loads of snow.

And, you’d think in direct contrast, comes 30 Days of Night, a vampire movie set in (I think) Alaska during the month-long period where there is no sun. Obviously, this is like spring break for vampires and offers a reasonably original take on an old idea.

Final Crisis – DC comics has been bogged down in something known as the Crisis since the mid 80s. Originally a mini-series trying to tidy up the various loose ends of the DC Universe of characters, it went and made things a whooooole lot more complicated, especially after a bunch of follow-ups emerged.

Charged with fixing this is Scots comic book God Grant Morrison. Will he kill or save the DCU and will this really be the final crossover? And has anyone who really cares ever touched a real woman?

Grant Morrison is known not only for comics but for advocating the use of Magik in everyday life. You may laugh and doubt if these rituals work to improve your life, but how many other guys from Govan have ever written Superman and Batman at the same time?

The excellent Gail Simone is taking over Wonder Woman.

The new creative teams for the various Spiderman comics were announced to a big yawn from me anyway.

Darwin Cooke has done a great job on The Spirit for DC, but is leaving soon – and to be honest I though that would kill the book. But it is rumoured that “Bone” creator Jeff Smith is taking over, which would be genius.

Also stroke mag fans can rejoice in the news that inflatable “sex kitten” Jenna Jameson will shortly have a new comic book out, which from the promo shot looks a bit like Red Sonja, if she was blonde and had fakies.

Finally, the Western comic is truly back.

While “Loveless” and the revamped “Jonah Hex” have both been doing well as has the re-launched “Lone Ranger”, “Streets of Glory” promises to top them all, as it’s the creation of comic book machismo master Irishman Garth Ennis.

Ennis, who created one of the most important comic books of all time in Preacher is also in the middle of his disassembly of superheroes “The Boys” which is also well worth a read.

Iain “The Neck” Laurie also strongly advises us to check out the new Kevin Smith related TV pilot “Reaper” wherein a slacker discovers his parents have sold his soul to the devil, who now wants to use him as bounty hunter chasing down errant souls.

It’s got my vote.

I realise about 2 people who read this will be vaguely interested in the contents, so if you got to the end without gouging out your own eyes, well done!

The Wedding of Drew and Kirsten

On Saturday I made it over to Glenrothes for the wedding of Drew and Kirsten. Drew has featured on the pages of ‘Pish before in his musical guise of Wounded Knee. A cracking night was had by all and it was good to catch up with a bunch of folk I hadn’t seen for several years. In full party spirit I even danced the Gay Gordons.

The bus drivers who ferried us to and from Edinburgh appeared to be hired from Curmudgeonly Bus Drivers Inc. They really weren’t in the wedding mood. To be fair to the driver on the way back the bus was a wee bit rowdy as everyone was well tanked up.

On Sunday morning Iain and I discovered that hardly anywhere in Edinburgh serves a breakfast. You can get quails eggs on a bed of falafel easy enough but sausage, bacon and eggs? Are you crazy?

Lots of photos below. I'll stick more on my Flickr page soon. There are also more here.

Recruitment Agencies. Why?

Here’s some more frustrations on my current search for employment. I am now applying for roughly 17 to 20 jobs every ten days or so. From this I’m getting an interview round about once a fortnight. So far though I have only had one proper interview for the job I applied for and of course no job offers.

I’m getting close to having sent my CV to every recruitment agency in the West of Scotland. This is because nearly every job on the S1 Jobs site is being handled by a recruitment agency.

Anyway I got a call from an agency the other day. The woman on the other end of the line stated that I had applied for a Customer Service Advisor position. I hadn’t. I had actually applied for a job as a Data Entry Clerk. Immediate start apparently. The woman made no mention of this job, instead asking me if I was interested in working in a ‘contact centre’ in Cambuslang. No I am not. Perhaps that’s one of the reasons I didn’t apply for that job. “I didn’t want you to apply for that job. I’d rather you applied for this one.”

Last week I was left a message from a woman at another agency telling me that she was ‘very keen’ to speak to me about ‘a couple of positions’. I returned her call, only to find that she was with a ‘candidate’. I left my details and awaited a call back. Which never came. A day later I received an e-mail supposedly from her, but actually from a ‘no-reply’ address saying, “we already have your CV on file. Should any suitable vacancies arrive we will contact you.’ So ‘very keen’ tuned into ‘don’t call us we’ll call you’.

So I’m not a fan of recruitment agencies. I fail to see their need, especially when they only seem to be on the lookout for themselves.

Another Music Video

Of the many Wolf Parade offshoots Handsome Furs are by far and away my favourite. Here's the video for Cannot Get Started. It's perhaps not a great video, but it's a terrific song and if you've never heard HF it's a good way to start.

The Simpsons Movie – Tom’s Verdict

The Simpsons Movie didn’t disappoint, it was packed with laughs. No, it’s not quite as good as you may have hoped it was going to be but there are plenty of laughs. Homer befriends a pig and gets the whole of Springfield in big, big trouble.

There’s more pathos than in your typical Simpsons episode and the characters do grow a little bit throughout the film. The local residents don’t get as much screentime as I would have liked, but there’s still some great lines from the likes of Ralph, Moe and Chief Wiggum.

The baddie comes in the form of Albert Brooks playing a shadowy government agency head. Perhaps the thing that dilutes the movie’s impact is that they’ve had 17 years of plotlines in the TV series. Mr. Burns for example would have made a better villain, but of course that had been done several times in the TV series.

I dunno if the film will create new Simpsons fans, but those of you that have been watching it for years will certainly enjoy it. Mind and do as we did and stay in your seats when the credits roll, cos the jokes aren’t finished.

The Simpsons Movie

Who's excited about The Simpsons Movie? I am. Despite the shows not being as funny as they used to be, there's always a couple of laugh out loud moments. I am confident the film will be packed with laughs. Confident I tell you.

Nicola and I are off to see it tonight, so the 'Pish verdict will be in sometime tomorrow.

In the meantime here's some Simpsons trivia.

The Moneymaker

This is the new video from Rilo Kiley. It's a bit of a depature from their more familiar sound.

Who Wants to Spot Me?

I joined a gym yesterday. Another benefit of being on the burro. Cheap access to fitness. I’m not really what you would call a fit guy and this was the first time I’d been in any sort of gym since I was in the BB.

I did fear some Frank Spencer style mishaps as I attempted to negotiate some of the equipment, but for the most part I seemed to know how to use it all. Or I made a fair attempt at looking like I did at least. The locker was the only thing I seemed to have any sort of trouble with.

The gym of course offers social interaction in enclosed spaces and it wasn’t long before I was sat in the saunarium with two girls who looked about 14 discussing all-you-can-drink holidays in Lanzarote, a guy talking about publicly hanging paedophiles and an old guy offering his thoughts on Rock Hudson. “You wouldn’t think to look at him. He made some good pictures too.”

For the most part I quite enjoyed it and as I didn’t die of heart failure I’ll probably be back.

I Can Assure You...

Here's a quick quiz, that only a few of you might get. Can you tell me which one of my friends sent me the following unexplained text at 11.30 on Friday night.

"I can assure you im not in Estonia peace out."

No prizes. It's just for fun.

Stanhope in Punchline

Here's a lengthy interview with Doug Stanhope in Punchline magazine. He has a new special coming on US TV soon.

A Day In the Life Of A Dolie

One of the few good things about being on the scrap-heap at 38 is that your day can end up quite varied. Take today for example.

I got up about 10am, which is fairly late for me, had my coffee and had my usual half hour of fannying about the net looking for football news etc.

I spend a few minutes looking for jobs on the job websites - nothing doing.

Hung out the washing.

Had a wee half hour on the Playstation.

Made myself braw for signing on. Headed out to the Breu, signed on, came home.

Now here's where it really starts to pick up pace.

After a lunch of microwaved mac and cheese while watching Kids in the Hall, I got cracking with a range of pressing tasks.

First I did the lawn. It was really needing it. Did a wee bit of weeding as well.

Came in, finished off a spooky Western comic I'd been writing. That took a couple of hours.

I then had a wee bit more of a go on the Playstation.

Then I dusted while listening to Frank Zappa, swept the kitchen floor, swept the bathroom floor, hoovered the hall and the spare room, washed the bathroom floor, hoovered the living room before going upstairs to hoover the bedroom and wash the upstairs toilet floor.

Visitors the morra you see.

Then I watched a wee bit of "The Henry Rollins Show" before the missus and the wee one came back in from their lives in the real world.

I, of course, got off my mark and got the tea straight on for them.

I'm no long sat down let me tell you.

I suppose if you'd told me five years ago that I'd one day be dividing my time between sweeping, mowing and writing supernatural cowboy stories I'd have said you were daft, but I've had worse days. Most of them in an office.

The Power of Limmy

As most of you will know, we have a You Tube page with a bunch of You Owe Me Glue videos on it.

Some have accumulated a few hundred hits over the months, some a few dozen. We stuck up a vid collaboration we'd made with Limmy, he stuck it on his blog and bang! 200 odd views in a matter of a few hours.

Hope he doesn't mind us hanging onto his coat-tails and here's hoping we don't ruin the guys career eh?

Here's the wee film anyway, entitled "Salesman".

Oh aye, it's by no means "work safe", but since I'm not working, I could give less of a toss. Dirty waged up bastards with your money and your self-respect...

Michael Moore on CNN

This is entertaining stuff. Michael Moore discussing his new movie Sicko on CNN.

Security Alert at the Dole

I've just been to sign on. I got to see those Group 4 security boys in top class action. Lining up to wait to see a 'floor manager' was a young Asian girl, and a white Glesca stoater.

As he took his place in the queue behind her, he said something along the lines of,

"Why aren't you working in your shop?"

Taken aback by this the girl asked him what he meant.

"You know what I mean," the stoater replied.

I think that was the last word he got in as the girl voiced her objections to his patter in no uncertain terms. So much so that a security guy attempted to step in. He radioed for his pal to come through from the back, while asking the stoater to step away.

When his younger assistant arrived he was in the process of telling the girl to calm down. The second security guy thought it was her that was getting chucked out and made to launch her.

"Naw, it's no' actually her. It's this guy."

The stoater was then asked repeatedly to leave.

"But I've got a giro to collect."

"I'm sorry sir."

"Can I just get my giro?"

"Sorry sir."

"Can I get my giro after that lassie's away?"

"You're going to have to leave sir."

Eventually he left. Then came back. Was told to leave, this time by practically the whole staff and some folk signing on. Then left again. The girl was literally shaking and announced that the incident would bring on her epilipsy.

Perhaps the guy had seen her working in a shop and was ready to do what the posters in the buroo say and shop her. But more than likely it was that casual racism that Glasgow's managed to develop a reputation for.

How Much Longer?

For how much longer can 'Smeato' talk about the airport attack? Aye, well done. Can you shut up about it now and stop playing into the tabloid papers' hands? He's been a Godsend for them. A down to earth regular guy who can be their anti-terrorist , anti-immigration, pro-law and order mouthpiece.

"I wanted to help him until I realised what he’d done, then I thought ‘f*** him’."

"I shouted ‘f****** c’mon then ya b******’ and it took his attention from the cop. He was shouting Allah, Allah, Allah. I flew at him. He took a swing, but missed me and I managed to get a kick in."

"Then I started thinking ‘what if the terrorist was strapped with explosives?’, ‘what if the Jeep had exploded beside me?’"

Anything else you want to add? Like when the autobiography is coming out? The Sun and the News of the World seem to be serialising this same 30 second incident.

Only in Scotland coud you foil a terrorist attack then take two weeks off work on the sick.

Photomarathon Exhibtion

Last month you might recall that Ronnie, Claire etc took part in the Photomarathon competition. Well, the results came out last night and we went along to the exhibition at the Science Centre. No winners among our lot, a fact for which Claire was suprisingly bitter. The exhibition is there for the rest of the week. Or mibbie longer. I can't mind. If you look closely you can see me in a couple of the photographs.

Some photographs below. More at Ronnie's Flickr page.

Ronnie and Flah checking out the photos.


Ronnie being interviewed on camera about the exhibition.


Some people look at Claire and Ronnie's photographs.


Claire (top) and Ronnie's photos.

"I Piled in and Tried to Get a Kick in"

Awright, are we not all getting fed up with John Smeaton? I know Big Scott is. 'Smeato' is on the front page of the News of the World today, saying 'Bin Laden, it's no' happening mate.'

The whole 'all ye need tae dae is stick wan oan a terrorist and they're doon' routine is wearing a wee bit thin.

"I ran up there to leather him. He was swinging at me, shouting Allah this and Allah that."

Fair play to the guy, he saw a commotion and leapt in, but how long can you keep giving differing takes on the same 30 second incident? I'm sure he's oblivious that the tabloid press are using him to manipulate their readers into their own political agenda.

"I just shouted, ‘F***ing come on then' and dashed towards him."

One of the reasons the media are lapping him up is that everyone loves a yokel. This is from the Wall Street Journal.

Since last Saturday's attack, his friends tell him that women have been asking to be introduced to him. His cell phone is jammed with messages. He's puzzled as to why people are so taken with his story. "I haven't a Scooby," he says, meaning he doesn't have a clue.

Below is a BBC feature on him.

Taking Liberties

Yesterday I went to see Taking Liberties, a documentary about how the Labour government has slowly taken away a wide range of things people in Britain held dear. Innocent until proven guilty, the right to protest etc.

It's one of the best films I've seen this year. As it shows laws being changed to suit the government's agenda and the police wasting everyone's time by treating hippies and pensioners as 'terrorists' it's actually a film that makes you angry.

If you're still unconvinced over ID cards, the film offers some great reasons why we shouldn't have them and why we don't need them. If you think, 'If you don't do anything wrong, then you've nothing to worry about,' then it's worth seeing here there are some very good examples of people who weren't doing anything wrong and found out that they had a lot to worry about.

The film also sums up one of the reasons that I hate this government. Because I now agree with people like Boris Johnson

Unfortunately it's only showing at the GFT until Sunday, but when it comes out on DVD or gets another limited run at the cinema it's well worth seeing.

Hing Aboot Wi' Fizzy!

Fraser Chttp://llcoolfizzy69.bebo.com/

Anti-Terroist Campaign

Someone's been busy with the spray paint. I saw these at Hyndland train station this morning. At the first one a policewoman was taking down notes, so I presume when I go home tonight it will have been cleaned up. Or taped off.

I dunno if the crudely drawn swastika is pro or anti-nazi. What do you think?

T-Break Review

It's taken a while, or maybe I just stopped checking the site after a week or so, but my near 1,000 word review of the T-Break showcase gigs is up on the Artrocker website.

"Battle of the Bands gigs can be pretty harrowing - for the audience as much as for the bands taking part. Fortunately for Tom Brogan, the recent T-Break showcase in Glasgow had more than a few pleasant surprises."

Ye Come to Glasgow We'll Set About Ye

Back on the subject of the incident at the airport on Saturday. John Smeaton was one of the people who apprehended one of the would-be bombers. His interviews on Saturday and Sunday appear to have entertained not only me but numerous folk on the internet.

It's not just his have-a-go-hero attitude but simply how refreshingly regular he came across in his interviews. Although some people seemed to have trouble getting through his accent.

My favourite bit from his interview on ITV last night was his summing up of the situation. "Glasgow disnae accept this. Ye come to Glasgow we'll set about ye. You know what I mean?"

Someone very quickly set up a website devoted to him. These kind of events make heroes out of the most unlikely of folk.

Ted Leo @ King Tut's

On Saturday night along with the TPID boys and friends I went to see Ted Leo and the Pharmacists play King Tuts. This was part of a UK tour, which in turn was part of a larger European tour. We were quite lucky as circumstances meant that Ted Leo had to cancel the rest of the tour and fly back home the next day. So this was the tour’s last night.

This time there was an extra guitarist to augment the group to a four piece. They played a lot from the new LP Living With the Living as well as many fan favourites.

My favourite tunes were probably the first two songs of the encore ‘Timorous Me’ and ‘Walking to Do’. The one that met with the best reaction from the crowd was probably ‘Bottle of Buckie’, his song on hanging about in Govanhill.

The show ended with Ted casting his guitar aside, nearly hitting Chris the drummer with it in the process, before he launched himself headfirst into the crowd, where he continued singing despite practically landing on his head as folk struggled to keep him held up.

There’s a handful of photographs below. Underneath them there's the video for Bomb Repeat Bomb.

Bomb Repeat Bomb

So I’m sitting in the flat tinkering with some new YOMG scripts. I have Talk Sport on in the background. The news comes through of the incident at Glasgow Airport. After a while it becomes obvious this is a major news story. Now for some reason my freeview box wouldn’t work when I moved the TV into my room, so I’m reduced to 3 channels that the external aerial picks up. Even then only STV has a decent picture.

So after phoning my Mum to get her to put News 24 on I switch on my TV expecting STV to go to a newsflash any minute. Any minute now. Any minute. But naw. Despite a major incident taking place in Glasgow a day after a major incident took place in London, STV bravely continued with Britain’s Worst Auditions.

Not even in the commercials did they think of dropping in a newsflash. No, because to break away from a collection of bams who failed on Pop Idol, Pop Stars and X Factor would be letting the terrorists win eh?

When they eventually went to a scheduled news bulletin the announcer breezily announced over those horrible idents that show folk sitting taking tea and laughing, “Now the news from Scotland, including the latest on a major incident happening at Glasgow Airport.”

We then had 4 minutes of news on it, before going on about the opening of the Scottish Parliament. The national news had more, but then we were straight on to You’ve Been Framed.

Should this kind of thing not be what news reporters turn up to work for? I remember the time coverage of the world snooker final was halted to cover the SAS storming the Iranian Embassy. But now, if World’s Craziest Donkeys was on you’d have to wait for it to wrap up before you got 3 minutes of ‘eyewitness’ (or as it turned out on Saturday “My mate was there and he telt me…”) reports at teatime.

Talk Sport at least cancelled their regular programming to cover events as they happened. Although to be fair before news came through Talk Sport’s discussion was on who wore the number 10 for West Ham before Trevor Brooking. “Do you know? Can you remember? Call us.”

It’s perhaps understandable that they would stop their programming as Talk Sport do have a large proportion of right-wing bams desperate to phne. The call-ins had an alarming number of people who suggested ‘we should kill them all’. “They want to commit suicide yeah? So just kill them. That’s what they want.”