Return of the Turbo Dribbler

As a postscript to Tom's bit about Stuggart midfield general Alexander Hleb and Google's curayzee translation of his website, I wrote him the following letter:

"Hello Aleks,
I am being a big liker of you from Scotland. You were the player of most goodness when you made with the football at Ibrox Park against team I like most the Rangers of Glasgow.
If you are coming to Britain to be player for clubs I would most be pleased for you to be with us at Ibrox, but I hear damaging untruths that you may turn evil for Celtic in otherwise.
Are you traveling on your way to the land of bagpipes? Maybe the premiership is less catastrophe. Even Liverpool.
You are player of much goodness with the fast legs and cunningly toes and feet, combined with mind quickness that makes bad men around tired and angry.
If you come to the Rangers of Glasgow I would be saying och aye the noo!
But dismay! We afford no players as well as the turbo- Dribbler. The satisfaction might have been giant large.
Irn Bru, Fraser, Scotland"

Here is my reply:

"Hello dear friends of Aliaksandr Hleb, first of all cordial greetings from Aleks. Unfortunately in the past time some remained lying at fan post office. Therefore Aleks and I (Tai, the Web master of Aleks homepage www.aliaksandr hleb.com) decided to dispatch to you everything the something "impersonal" answer.
Can hardly present you to her, how many Mails to arrive daily here. But Aleks is pleased about each individual letter. Whether hand written or as email. In particular innumerable congratulations were received at the 1.Mai to its birthday. Was a beautiful package, which I had presented to him from you. Cordial thanks for this.
An often asked question is trained when and where the VfB Stuttgart. Too these and further VfB specific questions would like we you to ask to turn directly at the VfB Stuttgart (www.vfb.de). We have to send the request a franked and addressed back envelope to the autograph hunters among you to Aliaksandr Hleb fair sport marketing GmbH of upper fields STR 50 71546 Kleinaspach.
As fast as possible then your autograph desires decrease/go back at you. You already in the profit play to the U21-Europameisterschaft participated?
On Aleks homepage see you, how can win it its national team leotard. We wish much luck and the correct let us tap!
And by the way: Also Aleks brother Slava, which changed in January of the VfB to the HSV, has now its HP on-line. You find it under www.slava hleb.com in the name of Aleks Hleb thank-beautifully for the batch post office and we hope again, to her are not verbittert that each email was momentarily not answered personally. Presses everything the VfB and Aleks still strongly the thumbs against Bavaria Munich and in Leverkusen, thereby the 3. Place and the qualification to champions the League are thus reached. And the 2. Place is also not yet lost... Greeting, Aliaksandr Hleb and Tai Volkmer"

What an age we live in.