It Was Best Not to Make Eye Contact With Those Who Were Drunk

If you look at the previous post and the link from the New Zealand site, they have quite an amusing way of reporting the trouble in London. First of all I love 'English Soccer Louts' and how they were 'kicking over rubbish bins.'

"Fans have been in pubs all day drinking hell-for-leather, so by the time the game had finished they were well-liquored."

"You could see real anger in the eyes of some of the fans and it was best not to make eye contact with those who were drunk."

It just reminded me of Bill Hicks

"I'm over there in England you know, trying to get news of the riots, and all the Brit people are trying to sympathize with me… 'Oh Bill, crime is horrible. If it's any consolation, crime is horrible here too.' Shut up. This is Hobbiton and I'm Bilbo Hicks, okay? This is the land of fairies and elves.

You gotta see English crime, if only we had crime like this, you know. It’s hilarious. You don’t know if you’re reading the front page or the comic section over there. I swear to God. I read an article, front page of the paper one day in England: ‘Yesterday some hooligans knocked over a dustbin in Shaftesbury.’

‘Whoo-oo!’
‘The hooligans are loose, the hooligans are loose. What if they become ruffians? I would hate to be a dustbin in Shaftesbury tonight. (singing) No one knows what it’s like to be a dustbin . . . in Shaftesbury . . . with hooligans.’

What the hell are you talking about? Hooligan, ruffian — speak English! It’s Crip, Blood. I mean, I’m sure it’s a serious thing, hooligans, but it just sounds stupid, doesn’t it? Picture a bunch of pale guys with penny loafers and no socks.

(singing) ‘We’re the hooligans.’ (Pop!)
‘Hey, you fucker, come here.’
‘Nope, got to catch us. You corner me, I might become a scallywag.’

You know, it’s— yeah. It doesn’t sound scary at all, does it? They have proper crime there. Yeah, I’d love to put the hooligans up against the Bloods in LA, that would be a . . . a short gang-battle.

(singing)‘We’re the hooligans.’ (Pop!)
(three gunshots) ‘Huh? Hoola something, I didn’t catch it all. Motherfucker danced up to me and patted me on the head. A pale motherfucker, look at that thing.’

It just wouldn’t be a long gang-battle. I’m bettin’ on the Bloods.