The Evening Times featured one of the sloppiest pieces of journalism I’ve ever read last night. The story headlined Celtic’s Double Signing Swoop was also previewed on a front page banner.When you start to read the story though, two things immediately strike you. The first thing is that there has been no ‘swoop’, (a nonsense journalist phrase anyway) second of all there have been no signings. So ‘double signing swoop’ is a complete fabrication.
The story could have read: ‘Celtic are looking to sign a left back and a centre forward by the end of the week’. Which isn’t even news in itself, at best merely informed speculation.
So let’s just dissect this well paid journalist, Ronnie Cully’s easy money article.
Paragraph One:
CELTIC are closing in on at least two new signings. If all goes to plan, they should be on board by the weekend.
So far so good. A bit of speculation and a promise of a news story to come.
Paragraph Two:
The hunt for a natural left-back and a heavy-hitting striker has been stepped up.
So he’s added a bit of information to the last bit. Fine.
Paragraph Three:
And the target is to have them waiting to join Gordon Strachan and his squad when they return from the United States at the end of the week.
Well, you’ve already told us that the plan is to sign them by the weekend. Four sentences in and you’ve already repeated yourself.
Paragraph Four:
That would leave the friendly games against Everton on Sunday and Manchester United a week tomorrow to help bed in the new Bhoys before Celtic kick off the defence of their SPL title against Kilmarnock on July 29.
Ronnie’s looked at the fixture list and highlighted Celtic’s next three games. He's also found time to stick in one of the most overused puns in sports journalism 'new Bhoys'. A play on Celtic's nickname. Then we're reminded that they won the league last season. This adds nothing to his ‘news’ story and tells no Celtic fan anything they didn’t already know.
Paragraph Five:
Strachan was frustrated in his attempts to sign Michal Kadlec from Sparta Prague and free agent Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink.
We know this. Celtic failed to sign these players a week or two ago.
Paragraph Six:
The Parkhead club would not meet Sparta's £2m valuation of 21-year-old Kadlec, Strachan's first choice for the full-back berth. And they could not compete with the wages Hasselbaink can earn in the Premiership.
Again, aye we know. You’ve now padded out your article with a bit of information about one of the two players and stuck in a bit of sports journalese ‘full-back berth’.
Paragraph Seven:
Bids to land alternative targets have been made, and responses awaited. Strachan has already brought in five new faces since the end of last season, paying an estimated £2.5million for Jiri Jarosik, Evander Sno and Derek Riordan while securing Kenny Miller and Gary Caldwell on Bosmans.
Of that first sentence, if you know who these ‘targets’ are why aren’t you telling us? If Celtic are still waiting on the clubs to come back to them, what’s the hold up? In the next sentence all Ronnie does is list all the new signings Celtic have made so far. There’s not a Celtic fan who isn’t aware of any of this.
Paragraph Eight:
But, the manager knew before the pre-season games that he needed two or three more first-team-ready players - one each for defence, central midfield and up front - if they are to be able to compete domestically and in the Champions League.
Ooooh, there’s a but. There’s something juicy coming now. Alas no. All we’re being told now is that Celtic manager Gordon Strachan wants to make more signings. Though there’s nothing concrete in here to suggest that. We’re also reminded that Celtic will be playing in the Champions’ League.
Paragraph Nine:
The performances in the four games they have so far played in Poland and America have underlined this.
Celtic have been pish in their recent friendlies.
Paragraph Ten:
Added to the urgency, Bobo Balde is out for another four or five weeks while he recovers from stomach surgery, Neil Lennon is banned for the opening match of the season, and Miller is almost certain also to miss out after receiving a red card against DC United for serious foul play.
No news for us here, just an injury and a suspension that was already common knowledge. But what have we here, Kenny Miller is ‘almost certain’ to miss the opening league game. That would be news had Cully not made it up.
Cully asserted that Miller would be suspended in his report of the DC United match. He gave no support or reasoning then and he gives none now.
The Scotsman reported the same day that Miller would be unlikely to be suspended.
The Scotsman had the good sense to quote an SFA spokesperson to back up their report.
An SFA spokesperson said: "There have been instances in the past when, for example, a player from an English club has been sent off in Scotland and we forward a report to England and the player can be punished by their FA.
"However, it is unusual for anything to come in from foreign countries for pre-season games, so it seems unlikely the matter will go any further."
But back to our article.
Paragraph Eleven:
Strachan wants strong characters with powerful personalities to replace the presence the likes of Roy Keane, Chris Sutton and John Hartson brought to the dressing room and carried with them on to the pitch.
Hey folks, mind the players who left Celtic in the last few months? Mind of them?
Paragraph Twelve:
Diego Tristan has been linked with a move to the club from Deportivo La Coruna, and he certainly fits the bill as the kind of imposing striker Strachan wants.
Now he’s citing some recent speculation, which is not relevant in the context of a news story.
Paragraph Thirteen:
However, the club's wage ceiling and shortage of transfer funds means that more than one player for each position has had to be identified, with the final choice down to the manager if terms can be agreed.
No news here, but we’re reminded that Celtic are skint and can’t always have their first choice of player. Of the players they can afford to sign Gordon Strachan can have his pick.
Paragraph Fourteen:
His options would increase if cash is brought in from the sale of players, and Stilian Petrov remains the prime candidate to leave.
Every football fan knows if you sell your players you should have money with which to buy new ones. Ronnie reminds us that Stilian Petrov wants to leave Celtic.
Paragraph Fifteen:
The want-away Bulgarian missed Friday's game against Chivas in New York with a groin strain, and limped away from training again yesterday, putting him in doubt for tomorrow's final game of the tour against New England Revolution.
He reaffirms Petrov’s desire to play elsewhere and mentions he’s injured. Which has been reported already in the Evening Times and elsewhere.
The Final Paragraph:
Shaun Maloney is already out with a groin strain, and the game could come too soon for Stan Varga and Mo Camara, though both are back in full training after recovering from a virus.
We’ve now completely forgotten what this article was about in the first place, that was a ‘double signing swoop’ that Celtic were ‘in’. This is simply an update on injured players.
The reason the Evening Times can get away with this piece of nonsense is because Old Firm stories sell papers. Or so it would seem, but with fans forums on the internet, teletext and radio all throughout the day, don’t Old Firm fans know the latest bit of Rangers or Celtic tittle tattle? Or do they need something like this to get them going?
You have to wonder why Ronnie Cully got into journalism in the first place. I’m sure it wasn’t to cobble together 16 short paragraphs from a bit of speculation and several old news stories.
What I’d like to see is the Evening Times revaluate their sports coverage. Try having journalists actually do some work for a change and earn their money. Put news ahead of rumour.
The proof however, that pish like this sells newspapers and gets fans all excited is here on the Celtic fans forum on the BBC. They go on for four pages about who the two signings could be. Well lads, if you work it out give Ronnie Cully a call over at the Evening Times. He’ll probably take the best two answers and construct a news story round them for tonight’s teatime edition.
1 comment:
It's the pressure of having to come up with at least two old firm stories a day despite the fact that it's closed season and Celtic and Rangers are both utterly skint.
There was a story on Filip Sebo the other day in the Times that repeated verbatim stories and quotes that had been on websites and other news sources for over 48 hours.
In my view, the standard of sports journalism in this country is abysmal, just abysmal and the reason as you quite rightly stated Tom is that old firm fans will buy anything they think might have a titbit of news in it.
At least in the closed season we are spared Alan Davidson and his mentonomic crap about which old firm side is in crisis depending on how results went that weekend.
"Celtic looks Good For Title"
"Celtic Stumble Casts Doubt On Title Bid"
"Gers Heroes Stand On Euro Brink"
"Ibrox Flops Just Not Good Enough"
Culy as you pointed out doesn't even have the gumption to make shit up, like the Record and the Sun do.
Of course, they also do come-and-get-me stories clearly at the behest of players agents as well; these guys are more advertising salesmen than writers.
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